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Year Three, Day 233: An Extra Serving of Authenticity

Most exhausted am I. I can feel my cough creeping back.  I am going to be wise and go to bed early tonight.  But first I shall drink much water.

I need to make up for the cake I ate after choir practice tonight.

Yes. I ate cake. Ice cream too.

Oh, but it was so tasty!

The bass section of the choir I accompany had a sectional tonight.  The people who hosted it had leftover birthday cake from the son's birthday party.  I made a decision to not mention my gluten sensitivity. I will probably pay for it later, but I was enjoying the conversation.  I had a cup of tea, cake and ice cream.  I did not contribute much to the conversation, but it was interesting.  I realize the members of this choir are highly intellectual.  And great conversationalists.

But for one of the first time's in my life, I was not overly self conscious about being in the background. Listening, and occasionally adding something to the conversation, when I had something to say.

Before rehearsal, I was standing back by the piano, while the basses discussed beer and brewing.  The of the bass who hosted the party offered me a glass of wine.  She asked if I was hiding from all the testosterone. I told her that I was somewhat shy and introverted and usually stood on the outside of parties so I could have a speedy exit.

She laughed and said she was the same way!  What a relief! A kindred spirit. And I would not have guessed it of her. She always seemed so confident. We had a nice conversation.  I told her I was comfortable one-on-one, teaching and one stage.  Or if there was a purpose to a gathering, like rehearsing.  Or if there was food, except then I hover near the food table and overeat.

It was so nice to reveal my authentic self to someone and be accepted. I did have to expend enormous amounts of energy trying to put forth an image.  I get tired just thinking of it!

So today was a good start to the New Year.  This is not a new year, new me. This is a new year, but the real me coming out from under years of masking and armoring.

It is quite refreshing!

Tomorrow is the beginning of winter term for my private piano students.  I am quite looking forward to it.  I have missed them!

But winter term at the music center does not begin until next week. So I still have a bit of free time. I think I shall take myself to another movie!

But now I need to head to bed and sleep off this cake.

Luckily I got my morning hoop session in.  I will add a lot of fresh vegetables, fruit and water back into my diet tomorrow.

With an extra serving of authenticity!


Talk to you tomorrow.

Happy New Year!

Love,

Zita






p.s. Here is today's hooping video. Day 195!


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