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Year Three, Day 312: Old School Samurai

The gray sky has returned.  And a bit of rain.

Usually I thrive on overcast, drizzly Portland days. My head feels clear. I have more energy.

Not today.  It was a struggle to get out of bed. Then it was a struggle to get motivated.

But I refuse to succumb to the negative mood my brain is dictating to me.

Every negative thought that popped up, I swatted it. Like a bug!

I made some tea, cleaned up, hooped and then I spent several hours practicing the piano and the portative organ.  It was painful at first.  I think my illness and anxiety have created bad habits. I seem to want comfort before work.

But, the Samurai in me says work before play!

So I pushed forth.  I got some good work done.

Only then did I allow myself to go to Starbucks.

Good thing, because my family member in crisis called. He had lost his ID card on the bus several weeks ago. He has a lead on a job and wondered if I could pay for his ID until he got his first paycheck to pay me back.

I agreed.  But I told him I had students this afternoon. We agreed to meet at DMV at 3:00 p.m.  I told him he could not be late, or I would have to leave to teach.  He agreed.

There was a Starbucks near DMV, so I sat and sipped my Citrus Defender and relaxed with a game of Words with Friends.  I felt better about myself than I did this morning. I had accomplished a lot at home.

I told myself to go back to my "old school Samurai" way of living.  Work first. Then relax.  The funny thing is, that once I got going, I was so immersed in my piano and organ pra
ctice, that it became my enjoyment.

I am still tired. But at least I am not feeling the pressing guilt of inactivity.

Tomorrow I am going to Vancouver to visit my daughter and the Schnood. She has an appointment for a check up. And shots.

Oy.

I hope I can be strong!

My son-in-law has to work, so I will be there for support.

But who is going to support me?  I do not want to see the Schnood in pain!

I do need to toughen up.  I survived single motherhood.  Shots, skinned knees, hurt feelings, broken bones, illnesses.

I can be grandmotherly and strong too!

On that note, the library is closing soon and I have students to teach.

Talk to you tomorrow!

Love,

Zita


P.S. Here is today's hooping video. Day 268!


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