Year Four, Day 289: Detachment Challenge, Day 2 - Mistakes

Hello Again My Dear Readers!

Today is Day 2 of my "Detachment Challenge". It is not for the faint of heart, I am telling you!

I almost blew it several times this morning - all before 11 a.m.!

My daughter called me on one moment immediately.  She said I broke my challenge, but she gave it to me as a freebie. We were feeding my grandtwins.  They both nurse and then my daughter pumps breast milk so that her husband and I (and other friends and family who visit) can help here feed them. They are on a pretty strict schedule.

One baby takes her bottle and chugs it down like a sailor, burps, smiles and goes back to sleep. She is bigger than second baby who fusses, arches her back and doesn't take more than a few swigs before she spits up. (Yesterday, I fed her and was about to put her on my shoulder to burp her, when she sprayed practically her whole feeding of breast milk onto my face. Unfortunately my mouth was open.  Sorry for the tmi!)

Anyway, my daughter belongs to a twin mom support group. She has been researching this issue. I looked at her this morning and says, "You know, my mom - your Gma, says maybe you are eating too much garlic or spicy food and this one is more sensitive?"

At which point my daughter shot me a look of daggers. "Are you offering me unsolicited advice Zma?" she asked. "Because if so, you are breaking your challenge!"

"No! No!" I excalimed. "Those were my mother's words!"

She squinted her eyes at me and told me that I get this one for free, but be on my toes!

Early this morning, as I lay pondering this new level of thought, I thought of my piano students. I decided years ago, if I became a teacher, I would be kind, positive and supportive. I suffered much emotional music education abuse as a child and had extreme performance anxiety. I still have a bit, but mostly related to social situations.

Anyway, before recitals, I sit my students down and ask them how they feel about the upcoming performance. Many of them, especially beginners tell me they are afraid of messing up. 

I am always happy to hear them address this, because then I can tell them:

"Do not fear mistakes. We all make them! There is not a mistake bear who is hiding behind the piano waiting to growl if you play a wrong note! If fact, I always make a few mistakes when I perform ad very people in the audience can hear them! Because it is not the mistake, it is our reactions to the mistake that matter!"

Then we talk about ways we can react when we mess up:

• Stop and correct the mistake.
• Go back to the beginning and start again. I tell them this is totally acceptable in our recitals. We are at a music school and most of us are beginners. The audience is supportive and patient.
• Keep going as if it was meant to be that way. (Best strategy!)

This morning, before the sun came up, as I lay in bed pondering, I had an aha moment!  Perhaps I should follow my own advice about mistakes!  I could stop right there and correct the mistake, or address the issue. I wish God gave us a do-over, but since we can't turn back time, perhaps the best reaction to our mistakes is to keep going. And not really as if it was meant to be that way. Hopefully we can learn from our mistakes, in a positive way.

Most profound! :)

I must say I feel good today. Pretty dang free, actually!  I have always desired inner peace and a feeling of freedom to be myself in this world. Perhaps I am finally on the right path!

Of course, I am still practicing my self love habits. I hooped today (video below). I have stuck to my 7 hour window of eating for the past 3 days. This way of eating (intermittent fasting) has been very successful for me. I give myself a day off now and then when I am out with my fiance or at a family function.  But then I get back on the IF train!  My eating window lately has been 10 a.m. to 4 p.m.  After that, copious amounts of water. 

When I do eat, I try to eat healthy, small meals. But I don't stress on it.  

This was today's breakfast:

I wake up feeling lighter, more refreshed and with a healthy appetite!

As far as my loved one in crisis, I am detaching with love. I love this person very much, but I need to take care of myself!

On that note, I am off to the gym and to visit my son, his wife and their little boy. More Zma time - best therapy of all!

Happy Saturday! :)

Love,

Zita

Note: Today is Day 330 of daily hooping.  My video is still uploading. I will post later.