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Day 209 Not an Ostrich!

I am struggling this morning. I feel this seed of hatred wanting to bud in my heart. I am having I trouble focusing my mind on my own life.

I find myself inexplicably drawn to Twitter, Facebook and the news. Trying t o make sense of the mass shootings. In particular this latest tragedy in San Bernardino. It is unique in the fact that it was a husband-wife team.

It is sounding like he was radicalized online or perhaps through his wife, or with her. I am sickened, yet fascinated. I do not want to think about these things.

But my faith teacher's not to judge, but to love. And there is a tiny grain of compassion for the people who are vulnerable to indoctinization. A very small grain. But it is there.

I do want to be aware. I want to understand their motivation. Why? Perhaps I am thinking the answer to preventing more attacks is in understanding their ideology and motivation. It makes my heart beat way too fast, however.

So what will calm and center me?After 9-11, like many, other Americans, I felt shattered and helpless. But then I resolved to do the best job possible in my own little world. And hold my children  close.

 You know, I think our country suffers from a kind of societal PTSD. It subsides after each tragic event when the dust settles, if we weren't directly effected. But when another one occurs, all those feelings resurface: Shock, rage, fear despair...no wonder many people have chosen to bury their heads in the sand.

I loved ostriches when I was a kid. I thought it was so comical how they would bury their heads in the sand. Do they really think no one can see them if they can't see? They are REALLY big birds after all, lol! :)

But I do not want to be like an ostrich. If I were a bird, I would at least want to fly! I played a board game with my kids last night. It was good clean funky was called "What Were You Thinking?" (http://www.amazon.com/What-Thinking-whether-think-same/dp/B00000IV49). And the healing began. At least for now.

One of the questions was, "What would you rather be-an eagle or a dolphin? We all chose eagle.

Don't we all wish we could fly?

On that note, I am off to the gym. Then a piano practice session before I teach this afternoon. No more internet for me today. Keeping my head up and keeping it real!

Happy Friday!

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