I crashed through my wall yesterday.
My wall of despair, gloom, pain and fatigue.
I remember the moment when the smoke cleared. So I need to blog about it before the realization dissipates.
I rode my bike to the music center yesterday. I remember as I packed my belongings in my little basket, attached to my bike, strapped on my helmet and pushed off, I felt a rustle of a breeze in my hair. And a bit of relief from my doom and gloom state of mind.
I kept riding, pushing a little harder than usual. I broke a sweat.
But I still felt weighed down.
I taught my first class. I love my students. I felt a bit better.
Then I took a walk on my break. Had an iced tea. I had some time before my next class, so I began working on a piece of music that I will be recording for one of my customers. This is when the fog began to lift. I got really immersed in what I was doing.
I forgot about everything else. It felt so good to be focused on an activity. And no words were involved.
With language, there is always a bit of uncertainty. Words can have more than one meaning. There can be a level of of deception of manipulation behind words. Like what we are seeing in this political campaign. No matter how much I read, listen to talk radio, or watch media coverage, I am never certain beyond a reasonable doubt that what I am seeing hearing and learning is actual reality.
It is disturbing. And it is messing with me on an emotional and now physical level.
But with the business of note reading and teaching note reading there is fact. That note you see on the first line in the G clef will always be the E above middle C. I do not need to persuade you. I do not need to yell at you. I do not need to say anything hateful about anyone.
It is an E.
Suddenly I was starting to feel the glimmer of my inner peace returning.
My next class was a small group of 7 year old boys. Yesterday there were only two of them. Pretty rambunctious, but enthusiastic about piano. I told them if they would stop the sillies we could play a fun game.
They did. And I told them we would play the "animal game". I created this out of desperation years ago as a reward for unruly students. They think of an animal, and create a piece of music on the piano. No right way. No wrong way. Can be random sounds. They can use the "sound effects" settings on the digital pianos. We guess what animal their piece is about. Whoever guesses correctly gets to have the next turn.
But yesterday one of the boys said he wanted to create a piece about Halloween. One of the other boys wanted to create a piece about "The Dark Ages". LOL
So we did.
Mine was about a princess in a castle.
One boy's piece was about a "ghost in a castle that scared children and ate all of their candy"
The other boy's piece was about a warrior.
They guessed mine. First guess. Then we guessed "War" for the one about the warrior. And I guessed and "evil ghost" about the other boy's piece.
We were practically spot on. No words. Just the language of music.
And my inner peace grew.
My dismay, doom and gloom lately may be partially due to my Eeyore personality. It may be partially due to overeating to compensate for insecurity, fear and depression. It may be also due to the realm of uncertainty that we have entered in this era.
So today, I woke up and focused on the parts of my life that were solid and certain. I taught some students. I made some phone calls concerning doctor's appointments.
I am blogging. And then I will go teach more students.
And then I will go to the gym.
I feel really good today. Like a load has lifted!
I do know that I need to play more music. For some reason I have been avoiding my piano lately. I will not question why, but I think we need to reunite.
I also discovered a trick for my insatiable appetite while on the road teaching.
The bulk bins at Fred Meyer's.
I forgot to pack a lunch today. So I stopped at the store before my first student.
Instead of grabbing something from the deli, or prepackaged, I headed to the bulk bins. I noticed they had freeze-dried okra! I put seven pieces in a little bag. They also had dark chocolate covered coconut bites. I read the ingredients. Very few ingredients. No wheat. The okra came to $.42 and were very tasty. They are as light as air, so hence the price.
The chocolate coconut was a nice treat. Tasted sinful, but not too bad in moderation. I grabbed an unsweetened iced tea to wash it all down.
I feel lighter today in many ways. Including my belly bloat.
I have a new trick up my sleeve and renewed resolve to focus on what matters.
At least in my little world.
Happy Friday!
My wall of despair, gloom, pain and fatigue.
I remember the moment when the smoke cleared. So I need to blog about it before the realization dissipates.
I rode my bike to the music center yesterday. I remember as I packed my belongings in my little basket, attached to my bike, strapped on my helmet and pushed off, I felt a rustle of a breeze in my hair. And a bit of relief from my doom and gloom state of mind.
I kept riding, pushing a little harder than usual. I broke a sweat.
But I still felt weighed down.
I taught my first class. I love my students. I felt a bit better.
Then I took a walk on my break. Had an iced tea. I had some time before my next class, so I began working on a piece of music that I will be recording for one of my customers. This is when the fog began to lift. I got really immersed in what I was doing.
I forgot about everything else. It felt so good to be focused on an activity. And no words were involved.
With language, there is always a bit of uncertainty. Words can have more than one meaning. There can be a level of of deception of manipulation behind words. Like what we are seeing in this political campaign. No matter how much I read, listen to talk radio, or watch media coverage, I am never certain beyond a reasonable doubt that what I am seeing hearing and learning is actual reality.
It is disturbing. And it is messing with me on an emotional and now physical level.
But with the business of note reading and teaching note reading there is fact. That note you see on the first line in the G clef will always be the E above middle C. I do not need to persuade you. I do not need to yell at you. I do not need to say anything hateful about anyone.
It is an E.
Suddenly I was starting to feel the glimmer of my inner peace returning.
My next class was a small group of 7 year old boys. Yesterday there were only two of them. Pretty rambunctious, but enthusiastic about piano. I told them if they would stop the sillies we could play a fun game.
They did. And I told them we would play the "animal game". I created this out of desperation years ago as a reward for unruly students. They think of an animal, and create a piece of music on the piano. No right way. No wrong way. Can be random sounds. They can use the "sound effects" settings on the digital pianos. We guess what animal their piece is about. Whoever guesses correctly gets to have the next turn.
But yesterday one of the boys said he wanted to create a piece about Halloween. One of the other boys wanted to create a piece about "The Dark Ages". LOL
So we did.
Mine was about a princess in a castle.
One boy's piece was about a "ghost in a castle that scared children and ate all of their candy"
The other boy's piece was about a warrior.
They guessed mine. First guess. Then we guessed "War" for the one about the warrior. And I guessed and "evil ghost" about the other boy's piece.
We were practically spot on. No words. Just the language of music.
And my inner peace grew.
My dismay, doom and gloom lately may be partially due to my Eeyore personality. It may be partially due to overeating to compensate for insecurity, fear and depression. It may be also due to the realm of uncertainty that we have entered in this era.
So today, I woke up and focused on the parts of my life that were solid and certain. I taught some students. I made some phone calls concerning doctor's appointments.
I am blogging. And then I will go teach more students.
And then I will go to the gym.
I feel really good today. Like a load has lifted!
I do know that I need to play more music. For some reason I have been avoiding my piano lately. I will not question why, but I think we need to reunite.
I also discovered a trick for my insatiable appetite while on the road teaching.
The bulk bins at Fred Meyer's.
I forgot to pack a lunch today. So I stopped at the store before my first student.
Instead of grabbing something from the deli, or prepackaged, I headed to the bulk bins. I noticed they had freeze-dried okra! I put seven pieces in a little bag. They also had dark chocolate covered coconut bites. I read the ingredients. Very few ingredients. No wheat. The okra came to $.42 and were very tasty. They are as light as air, so hence the price.
The chocolate coconut was a nice treat. Tasted sinful, but not too bad in moderation. I grabbed an unsweetened iced tea to wash it all down.
I feel lighter today in many ways. Including my belly bloat.
I have a new trick up my sleeve and renewed resolve to focus on what matters.
At least in my little world.
Happy Friday!
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