Skip to main content

Year Two, Day 267: Crazy Hair Day and Keeping the "D" word at Bay



I am having one of my extremely low energy days. My heart feels heavy. There is a tired, sad feeling right behind my eyes if that makes sense.  I can see it in the selfie I took.  My hair reflects the chaos in my soul (and the bitter wind that has been whipping me about from bus stop to bus stop today!)

I can feel the "D" word lurking around the corner.  I wished I could have just pulled the blankets over my head this morning and stayed in bed.

But I have a strong work ethic. And I've discovered one way to keep the "D" word at bay, is to just keep putting one foot in front of the other.

So I did.  I got out of bed. I made my morning tea. I had a bowl of instant grits for breakfast.( (Grits has always been one of my comfort foods. Must be my Texan background!)

 I did a shortened version of my prayer, journaling and bible study since I was moving so slowly.

Today I had a rehearsal for the "Penguin Musical" at a school.  All first graders. Most adorable. I love the woman who writes these. She absolutely loves what she does and it shows. And it did lift my spirits.  A bit.

I decided to take myself out for lunch in the hopes of lifting myself further out of the pit. I went to "Hoho". An old family favorite. I ordered cashew shrimp and hot and sour soup. Delicious as usual.  I read a bit from Uninvited: Living Loved When You Feel Less Than, Left Out, and Lonely by Lysa TerKeurst.  I feel like she is my soul sister. Even though we have never met and probably never will.

I almost dropped my chopsticks when I read,

 "It's painful to be in a crowded room and fell all alone...We must respect ourselves enough to break the pattern of placing unrealistic expectations on others. After all, people will not respect us more than we respect ourselves...some of our biggest disappointments in life are the result of expectations we have of others that they can't ever possibly meet...Unrealistic neediness is actually greediness in disguise. It's saying, 'My needs and desires deserve to tap into or possibly even deplete yours.' This will never set a relationship up for success."

Oy. The truth hurts. But then the truth sets us free. As much work as I have done on myself, it is just the tip of the iceberg. And suddenly it dawned on me. I mean, suddenly, as in RIGHT THIS MOMENT as I am typing this. The gloom has lifted a bit.  Perhaps God gives me these under the weather, fighting with the "D" word days to give me a chance to hit the pause button. To be still and reflect. To look deep inside myself. To face my truth and let Him mold me.
I just took a deep breath. And I just smiled a bit.  I think I am going to just let my thoughts end here.  
Pause, breathe, smile. Go teach some piano students.  

And keep the "D" word in the dungeon where he belongs!

Happy Thursday!

Love, Joy and Peace to you all,

Zita

 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Day 347: My Big Fat Greek Salad!!

I have perfected the art of making a Greek salad!  I have made two huge bowls in the last week. My kinds rave. Essentially the secret is f vegetables , good feta cheese, Greek olives and a homemade dressing made with light, extra virgin olive oil, garlic, lemon juice, red wine vinegar,  and oregano. Here is my recipe: MY BIG FAT GREEK SALAD Serves 4 hungry adults 4 cups greens (I used a "spring mix" from Fred Meyer) 2 cucumbers 6 roma tomatoes one small red onion 1 cup cubed feta cheese 1 cup Greek olives (pitted) Get out a big bowl. Peel a clove of garlic, cut in half and rub it over the interior of the bowl.  Wash the lettuce if it is not prewashed and packaged like mine was.  Dry the leaves, and tear into bite sized pieces. Throw into the big bowl. Note: Romaine lettuce is good to include in the mix, because it is hearty. Peel the cucumbers and dice. Add to bowl. Cut the roma tomatoes in half and squeeze out the seeds (otherwise they make th...
Post a Comment
Read more

Year Two, Day 307: Chasing Away The Gloomy Weather...with Music and a Smile! :)

It seems to me that most of the city is depressed, tired and sick. I still have my low grade snuffly nose, along with sneezing, and itching eyes.  Low energy. It is nice to know I am not the only one. Misery loves company, don't you know! Even through the gloom, I had an enjoyable day.  I told myself several times that I really am a lucky woman. My kids are grown, I'm going to be a GRANDMA, and I love my work. My church job is a nice secure little job and it seems I am quite needed there.  I am still learning the ropes. But I am enjoying it. Meeting new people. And best of all, I have only a 1 1/2 minute commute (by foot!). I have a cozy little room in a household full of wonderful laid back people.  People who love animals and music. But best of all, my afternoons are filled with music. I basically get on the bus and travel about town, sitting at pianos, visiting with students, who are like my family. We talk. They play the piano for me. I offer pointe...
Post a Comment
Read more

Year Two, Day 50: Mindful Biking

More breaking ground today. I rode my bike to the Max, and then to my first student, who coincidentally lives close to my gym.  Maggie waiting patiently for me at the gym, 6/28/2016 I am starting to notice positive changes from my daily biking.  First of all, I feel such a sense of freedom and exhiliration when I hop on and take off.  It reminds me of my childhood. My brother and I rode all over Vancouver, WA on summer break.  It was my first experience of independence from a rather harsh father.  Back then we didn't wear helmets. And there were many hills. I will never forget the joy of coasting down a hill with the wind in my hair. I have hints of the feeling now. I also have noticed my energy is higher. And although I am sore (cycling uses muscles that I have not worked in awhile), I am getting stronger. Feeling strong! Cycling is also good for my mind. I find myself going through routes in my head. I am hoping to add more routes to my day...
Post a Comment
Read more