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Year Two, Day 14: Fuhgettaboudit!

I am reading a fascinating book. Miriam' s Kitchen: A Memoir, by Elizabeth Ehrlich.

 It is the memoir of a Jewish American woman who is not a "religious Jew" until she spends time in the kitchen of her mother-in-law.

This book is affecting me on a very deep, perhaps even genetic level. It is partially why I have needed much time alone, my "i" time, this weekend. And why I am excited about making chicken livers for dinner.

I am still feeling the need for time alone.  I recognize this deep in myself.  Like this resonance with the Jewish people deep inside my soul.  My grandfather, who died when my mother was a baby was Jewish. I never knew that side of the family. I doubt that I ever shall.  One of the big regrets in my life.

Speaking of souls, in church this morning the pastor talked a bit about the soul. He defined it as our "true, immortal, spiritual essence".

I think one of the goals of this blog, that I hadn't thought much about was getting in touch with my soul. Getting rid of all these superficial layers that have accumulated over the years, and finding my soul again.

I googled "soul" and found a lovely article on Huffington Post:   What is the Soul? I really like Wayne Dyer's definition: "Wayne Dyer: The soul is the birthless, deathless, changeless part of us. The part of us that looks out from behind our eyes and has no form. The soul is infinite so there is no in or out of it. It is everywhere. There’s no place that it is not." ~http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/12/25/what-is-the-soul-eckhart-tolle-wayne-dyer_n_2333335.html

Before I started this blog, I started a blog called "Onion Woman".  I thought of my growth as peeling off the dry papery layers of an onion. I didn't continue with that blog, because life got complicated.

But here I am now.

And still very tired. And needing a lot of personal space.  And still trying to find my authentic soul, beneath all the layers.

In the meantime, I have a student to teach. And groceries to pick up. I may skip the gym tonight. I am feeling the need to hibernate. With some DVD's. 

I am in my "office" at the Multnomah County Library. I just picked up three seasons of "The Sopranos".  Good escapism for me.  Although I seem to have taken to wearing my old black leather jacket again. And walking taller and faster.  And actually feeling a lot stronger.  Maybe I am getting in touch with my inner gangster.

Without all that intimidating, criminal activity, and blood and stuff.  I just like the confidence. And the black leather jacket. The other stuff...Forgettaboudit!)

Happy Sunday!




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