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Year Two, Day 11: Zita, Interview Ham


On my way to an interview. Very happy!

Trying to look cool, calm and collected. 



I had an audition and interview last night for a community choir accompanist.

Have I mentioned I have this peculiar behavior at interviews? One would think that, I, as an introvert would dread interviews. Would be quaking in my boots. But no!  I THRIVE on them!

I have noticed this for many years. I do not even care really if I get the job. I just love when they ask me questions about myself. I could go on for days!  And I love being challenged with sightreading.

Oh my goodness. Does this make me a narcissist? Like Trump?

I just did some research. And breathed a sigh of relief.  I am not a narcissist.  A ham, perhaps.  And yes I have a few issues. I do like taking selfies.  (Mostly to see if my face looks puffy).  But I do not think I am a classical narcissist. I have compassion for others, I do not  "require excessive admiration" - my favorite activity is reading a book alone. I do not have "an exaggerated sense of self importance", nor am I "preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success of power".

In case you are curious, here is the article I consulted: http://bigthink.com/artful-choice/less-than-artful-choices-narcissistic-personality-disorder-according-to-donald-trump

But this alter ego that emerges during interviews is quite perplexing. And it has given me some grief. I present this really outspoken, friendly, dynamic person at the interview, but in real life, I am quiet and usually serious. And introverted. I could rationalize that it is just nerves. But I am not nervous. I am excited, and quite pleased to be talking about the wonders of me!

I try to control this other personality that pops up.  But I just become more giddy and animated. Sigh.

So I did it again.  I went in, shook hands and sat down in a circle with the panel of interviewers.  They handed me a list of questions. The first one, was "Tell us a little about yourself and your historical and current interface with music".

I looked at them and smiled. "How much time do we have?", I asked before I launched into a narrative of my life dating back to 1965 (I was 3 when I learned how to play the piano).

Honestly, it was a great interview. The group was very enthusiastic about music and they listened to my solliloque good-naturedly.  They had me sightread some choral music. Piece of cake. But this one piece, called "Gabriella’s Song", a Swedish song from a movie, nearly had me in tears. It was so beautiful!  One of the women sings in a Scandinavian chorus.  She wrote down the title for me.  It was from the movie "As it is in Heaven".  The English translation of the lyrics are:
Gabriella’s Song

Right now is when I’m alive
I have got this time here on Earth
And my longing has brought me here
All I lack and all I’ve gained

It is still the way that I chose

My trust went far beyond words
It has shown me a little bit
Of the heaven I never found

I must feel that I am living

All the time I have
And I’ll live the way I choose
I must feel that I am living
Knowing I was good enough

I have never forgotten my past

I have only left it sleeping
Maybe I never had a choice
Only willing to be alive

I want to be happy living being who I am

Knowing I am strong and free
See how night turns into day
I am here and my life is only mine
And the heaven I thought to be
I will find it there somewhere

I want to feel that I have lived my life

The woman who sings this song was the victim of domestic abuse.  I found a bit of information about this song on this blog: http://musicandsocialchange.wisrville.org/2011/07/22/gabriellas-song/

I would like to get the job with this choir. As I mentioned before, I think my days of being a church pianist are over. I need a day of rest. A day to worship. And not get involved in church politics.  
But since I came across as so pompous, I am not going to get my hopes up.  They will be making their decision by next week. I will keep you posted.  
But tonight was not a waste of time. To the contrary, just having discovered "Gabriella’s Song" made the evening worthwhile.

Oh, and it was not so bad talking about the wonders of me either!

Happy Thursday.

:)



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