First order of business: H, formally known as R and I have redefined our relationship as "just friends". So far it is much more comfortable. After my emotionally stable email, he said he wanted us to be friends too, and that I was entitled to my opinion. He also expressed concern that my email seemed to suggest he had a narcissistic personality.
I didn't answer him directly. I just deflected with,
"Is that any better than an emotionally unstable personality?"
And that was the end of that. He didn't protest me dating others which greatly relieved my conscience for even considering such a thing, serial monogomist that I am.
And we are getting along even better now without the pressure of a relationship looming over our heads like a rain cloud!
Now that I can breathe again, I am feeling more centered. I was actually able to play tthe piano today without checking my phone for a text message or having distracting thoughts about H. There is hope for me yet!! :)
I even began my Saturday with a solo early morning workout before meeting my mother for breakfast!
And now, without further adieu, I would like to introduce you to my highly secretive Theory of Nine. I have only revealed this to three other people in my life. But I created it over ten years ago!
The history of the Theory of Nine goes like this:
I overheard a conversation between my daughter and her good friend "T" who had moved out of the neighborhood. They had been close friends in grade school. T always laughed at how flirtatious I was. And when she came for a visit that day, she asked my daughter, "Does your mom have a boyfriend now, or does she just have like nine?"
I snickered, but it was one of those "aha!" moments.
I had always been a hopeless romantic. And shy and insecure. And yes, perhaps a wee bit emotionally unstable- shhh! Don't tell H, formally known as R!
I was even known to write sappy letters and sit by the phone (the old school kind of phone. You know, that actually plugged into the wall!)
I shed many a tear over some undeserving bloke and suffered much heartache! Probably why I ended up single at 40-something with two teenagers.
But...9!
Now mind you, I was not thinking of juggling nine dates! No, just fine tuning what I had already discovered. That pleasant, mildly flirtatious interaction with the male species made my life more colorful.
You know, like cute Starbucks dude, friendly mailman, sexy bus driver...
I would console myself if things weren't progressing with "the one" by making sure I had a list of nine men who made me smile each day!
I have reactivated my Theory of Nine to help me get through the H, formally known as R encounter.
I have 9!!
It works! I am happy!
On that note, happy Saturday!
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