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Year Four, Day 237: Her Name is Mildred

I am buried in work. Spiritual work. Soul work.

I love it!

Now that things are coming together in my being, I was a tad worried that I would get sidetracked with the normal things in life. Like working for a living and stuff. 

But winter term has begun, and I feel that I have more than enough energy for it all!

When I feel myself slipping, and the negative voice returning, I just face whatever it is that is making me uncomfortable.

O.K. Truth be told, I have named "the voice".

Her name is Mildred.

She is a judgmental, mean spirited voice. And she pops up in my head at the most awkward times.  But I have her in check! If someone bumps into me on the bus, and Mildred says something mean, like, "Watch where you're going as*hole", I just chuckle and say (this is all inside my head, mind you), "Oh Mildred. Go back to your cave".

I know how this sounds.  Absolutely bonkers. But realizing that the negative voice is just my brain (Mildred), blathering on, and I am not this voice, has helped enormously.

I am working on some techniques now to face my inner negatively. The pain I've shoved down deep inside to deal with later. Or maybe even try to forget.

But it always comes up, doesn't it? The old hurts.

So when a painful memory pops up, I breathe. And then I face it. And try to release it.
My newest mandala

Breath work is not new to me. I discovered years ago, that taking a deep breath before performance, put me in my zone and in the present moment.  And helped quell my anxiety.

Michael Singer, the author of the book I am currently inhaling (The Untethered Soul) also suggest using breath.

So I am breathing. I am releasing.

I am also still creating mandalas in my spiritual journal. I find this exercise  most peaceful! 

I may achieve my lifelong pursuit yet - Inner peace!

I've been seeking it pretty much my whole life.  I remember longing for calm inside even as a small child. Of course, I didn't call it inner peace then. But I seriously think I knew what I lacked.  Maybe I just wanted the opposite of chaos and fear.

Perhaps.

Oh, but I could go on and on!  I am making a daily appearance to the gym.  I am back on my intermittent fasting regimen, focusing on whole foods, mostly vegetarian.

I try to hoop daily, but my granddaughter has been having trouble sleeping, so none of us gets up very early in our home. But I am continuing my rather humorous "Qi Gong in Small Spaces" regimen.

It's amazing what just a few minutes every day can do.  I tell my piano students that constantly!  Practice every day, even if it is only a few minutes. Make it a good habit and you will see progress!

Oh, but I need to head out to choir practice. I will hopefully have a chunk of time tomorrow to go deeper.  But for now, I wish you a happy Wednesday!


Talk to you tomorrow!

Love,

Zita

P.S. Here is a video of Day 4 of "Qi Gong in Small Spaces"




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