Skip to main content

Year Three, Day 39: HHP Day 5: Questions for Myself

Another tired day.

I did not get up and run. Or walk to get my cup of coffee. 

I stayed in bed until the last moment.

What got me up was thinking of my hula hoop project.  I did another 500 consecutive rotations this morning. I would have done more, but alas, that snooze button! I am at it's mercy!




Today I am heading up to the gym before I teach. I need a good workout and a nice hot tub soak.

I am still feeling a bit low. But lunch with my daughter yesterday lifted me. She is in her third trimester of pregnancy.  She is glowing!  I remember this time with both my pregnancies.  It is like being a piece of ripe fruit.  I loved feeling my babies kick. The amazing miracle of life inside of me!

But it is also difficult. You get very heavy, tired and achy.  I pray for her every day.  Childbirth is one of God's greatest miracles. But it carries with it much pain, fear and a sobering obligation. To raise a life.

I am struggling today with myself.  With my motives for self improvement.  I am committed to being an involved grandma. I want to always be involved with my family. It is not always easy. Right now, we are all so busy, involved in this thing called life. We do not have enough time for each other. We tend to just gather on "Hallmark Holidays".

I have always felt pressured by the holidays.  Deep inside I desire just gathering together out of love. I suppose the holidays give us permission to gather. But the meaning often feel superficial.

But the reason I am struggling with myself is this: I want to make sure I am working on self improvement, to be healthier and better able to serve my family, friends and community. Not out of a selfish need for perfection.

It is easy to get lured into just thinking physical perfection (if at all possible) equals a perfect life.

I want to share with you this quote from the book by Beth Moore I am reading for the second time. My daughter is right. I need to read it every day. For the rest of my life!


"Improving her appearance can make a woman feel better about herself and arguably improve some quality of life, but it still won't heal her insecurity. The more she thinks it will, the more she's setting herself up for another blow. Each woman has within her capabilities various ways of looking her best. Not someone else's best, mind you, but her own. If our pursuit has moved from reasonable attention to a veritable obsession however, we'd better search our souls for what's drawing us.

Do you ever stop in your tracks and ask yourself out loud, "What am I doing?" Boy, I do. It's a terrifically important questions, but it needs a few others to follow it up, like, "Why am I doing what I am doing? What am I hoping top achieve?"

~Beth Moore, So Long Insecurity, You've Been a Bad Friend to Us


I am going to spend some time with those questions today. Perhaps I will have answers tomorrow. Perhaps not. But I know one thing. I desire to be authentic, loving and kind. To rid myself of negativity.  And food addictions.

I also know that today I need to be quiet.  Listen to God. Listen to my students.  Pray.  Breathe. And just be.


I wish you a happy Tuesday.

Enjoy your life.  Be kind to others. Breathe!

Talk to you tomorrow.

Love,

Zita

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Day 347: My Big Fat Greek Salad!!

I have perfected the art of making a Greek salad!  I have made two huge bowls in the last week. My kinds rave. Essentially the secret is f vegetables , good feta cheese, Greek olives and a homemade dressing made with light, extra virgin olive oil, garlic, lemon juice, red wine vinegar,  and oregano. Here is my recipe: MY BIG FAT GREEK SALAD Serves 4 hungry adults 4 cups greens (I used a "spring mix" from Fred Meyer) 2 cucumbers 6 roma tomatoes one small red onion 1 cup cubed feta cheese 1 cup Greek olives (pitted) Get out a big bowl. Peel a clove of garlic, cut in half and rub it over the interior of the bowl.  Wash the lettuce if it is not prewashed and packaged like mine was.  Dry the leaves, and tear into bite sized pieces. Throw into the big bowl. Note: Romaine lettuce is good to include in the mix, because it is hearty. Peel the cucumbers and dice. Add to bowl. Cut the roma tomatoes in half and squeeze out the seeds (otherwise they make th...
Post a Comment
Read more

Year Two, Day 307: Chasing Away The Gloomy Weather...with Music and a Smile! :)

It seems to me that most of the city is depressed, tired and sick. I still have my low grade snuffly nose, along with sneezing, and itching eyes.  Low energy. It is nice to know I am not the only one. Misery loves company, don't you know! Even through the gloom, I had an enjoyable day.  I told myself several times that I really am a lucky woman. My kids are grown, I'm going to be a GRANDMA, and I love my work. My church job is a nice secure little job and it seems I am quite needed there.  I am still learning the ropes. But I am enjoying it. Meeting new people. And best of all, I have only a 1 1/2 minute commute (by foot!). I have a cozy little room in a household full of wonderful laid back people.  People who love animals and music. But best of all, my afternoons are filled with music. I basically get on the bus and travel about town, sitting at pianos, visiting with students, who are like my family. We talk. They play the piano for me. I offer pointe...
Post a Comment
Read more

Year Two, Day 50: Mindful Biking

More breaking ground today. I rode my bike to the Max, and then to my first student, who coincidentally lives close to my gym.  Maggie waiting patiently for me at the gym, 6/28/2016 I am starting to notice positive changes from my daily biking.  First of all, I feel such a sense of freedom and exhiliration when I hop on and take off.  It reminds me of my childhood. My brother and I rode all over Vancouver, WA on summer break.  It was my first experience of independence from a rather harsh father.  Back then we didn't wear helmets. And there were many hills. I will never forget the joy of coasting down a hill with the wind in my hair. I have hints of the feeling now. I also have noticed my energy is higher. And although I am sore (cycling uses muscles that I have not worked in awhile), I am getting stronger. Feeling strong! Cycling is also good for my mind. I find myself going through routes in my head. I am hoping to add more routes to my day...
Post a Comment
Read more