Not bad, strange. Just strange, as in different.
Something has changed. Maybe it's me?
This morning I woke up early and did my hooping as usual. But I was worried about being late for my church pianist sub gig, so I left earlier than usual. Got to the bus stop and discovered the first bus did not come for 20 minutes.
It was ok. I would still make it in plenty of time. So, I walked into the gas station behind the stop and got a nice hot cup of coffee.
I put the lid on and went to pay. There was a gentleman standing in line in front of me. A very distinguished man about my age.
Ok. He was quite handsome! Silver hair. Goatee. Sparkling blue eyes. I don't take much notice of men these days. But, he was easy on the eyes!
He turned around and smiled at me. I almost dropped my coffee.
When it was his turn at the register, he told the cashier he was paying for gas and wanted a pack of "chew".
"Nasty habit, I know", he winked at me.
This time I held tight to my coffee.
"It's ok", I smiled, pointing to my hot cup. "I have my own habits".
He chuckled and kept smiling at me. Lingering eye contact.
I looked away. The moment passed. I payed for my coffee. And floated out to the bus stop.
I was wondering why he was so friendly. Maybe he was having a good day.
But it occurred to me. I didn't feel invisible!
I have felt like the invisible woman on and off for the past 10 years. I have my moments, but people don't usually pay much attention to me.
I got on the bus. The driver smiled at me. A very handsome, dark haired male driver. I think I blushed.
And all day it was like this. People were smiling and super nice. Was there some shift of consciousness after the eclipse?
Perhaps it was Hurricane Harvey. In times of natural disaster, people do tend to go out of their way to be helpful.
Or maybe, perhaps I feel better about myself and am putting forth a friendly, confident face?
I took a selfie at the bus stop.
I guess I am having a good face day!
And my day just kept getting better.
My church gig was a smashing success.
I know, I know. Church musicians are not performers. I performed my task with the utmost humility. But I played well. And the people were pleased.
And it was incredibly healing.
You see, this church and I have some history. Some painful history. And some of the people that hurt me were actually there today. But I have matured. I was humble, and respectful and kind. I just did my job. And I got many hugs and smiles.
One of the elders, (who was an elder when I started there nearly 30 years ago!) came up and we had a lovely chat. He told me the history of the church. I love the wooden pews in this traditional Presbyterian church. He told me the church was 109 years old. The pews, he informed me were added about 50 years ago. They were made by cloistered monks!
I think I was nervous about today. Because as I left, glowing, paycheck in hand, I almost skipped down the road. I was so relieved. I felt like a huge weight had been lifted. All the guilt, pain, hurt was gone. People grow up. I grew up.
And that church was where I started my rise above stage fright. When my daughter was just a baby. My daughter is now 27, married and about to give birth any moment to my granddaughter.
So as I sat in those hard wooden pews today, listening to the sermon by the very kind minister, feeling the breeze of several fans on my face, I closed my eyes for a moment and imagined myself 27 years ago, with my baby girl. I imagined the different people in the pews. And I felt a stirring in my soul.
I have changed. Not just the weight that I have shed. I have changed from inside out. I have learned to rise above my self conscious, selfishness.
It was indeed a healing service.
And it helped that I was having a good face day!
I can't think of a better note to end this blog on...
So I wish you a happy Sunday.
I will talk to you tomorrow!
Peace, Love, and a Happy Face!
Zita
PPS: Oh, I completely forgot! At the track this morning, after hooping, another very nice gentleman complimented me on my hooping skills. Most embarrassed was I. I do not feel particularly graceful. I am just doing this to stay in motion!
But he said I was "truly amazing!"
Ok...I'll take it! :)
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