Skip to main content

Day 6: Demons!


I battled demons last night and this morning as I attempted to get fired up to run/walk.

The negative thought demons were in my thoughts and emotions. They have names.
The first one to visit me was Anxiety. And he was in rare, powerful mode. From there
came Uncertainty and his buddy Doubt.  I wrestled, I prayed. I breathed and stretched. Finally I slept.

This morning Self Pity and Depression came calling.

I almost gave in and went back to bed.  Then I remembered my blog!  But how can I blog about my health regimen with such negative thoughts and feelings?  But then I had a thought.  Perhaps this is when I most need to blog.  To keep it real.  Just like when my life is at its darkest moments I need prayer. And when I am feeling fat, lazy and worthless I need to workout!

So I hit the trail.  Gray day. I usually love these days. But I was in a funk.  I turned on my radio. Nothing but talk and commercials and really lame songs. Grrr...

Finally I found a song on Classical 89.9 that stirred me.  "Magnificat" by Walter Lamb. The voices sung by the Choir of Christ Church Cathedral in Oxford.  I felt a breathe of life. Their voices were so pure and ethereal. Like angels.  And just then I hit the swamp area of the trail where all the red-winged blackbirds had been earlier this week.

And they were there again. Along with Canadian geese, ducks, and a bright yellow little bird. I tried to get pictures again to no avail.  But my spirits were soaring with these lovely creatures.

I jogged a bit. It didn't hurt as much today.

So I jog/walked from the head of the trail on SE 104th to SE 122nd and back. It was about a 2 mile loop.  But I mostly walked.  Still battled the negativity.

On the home stretch, I searched again for upbeat music and "Demons" by Imagine Dragons came on. One of my piano students introduced me to this song. Something kicked in. I ran hard for the whole song!!

My time was 45 minutes for 2 miles.

Demons take that!!!


Kicking it!

Happy Sunday! :)

Zita


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Year Four, Day 328: Success at Last!! This is What I Do

Hello My Long Lost Friends! Or, perhaps it was I who was lost? And now I think I am beginning to find myself!  Under layers of fat, and self loathing!  How's that for an opening line!  Or perhaps the title of a novel:  Layers of Fat and Self-Loathing! Today I stepped on the scale.  I am weighing myself every morning these days. I was shocked! I told my partner the scale must be broken!  Yesterday I weight 186. Today 185! I have been on a strict intermittent fast for the past 10 weeks. I have officially lost 12 pounds!  And the best news is I think I not only can stick to this way of eating, I am actually beginning to really enjoy it!  And look how far I've come! I've been writing since May 12, 2015.  Over 8 years now!  I know this blog post says Year Four, Day 328, but there have been many pauses in blogging. For instance, when I am not pleased with progress or simply have no words! I was 53 when I first began blogging. I am now 61. I honestly feel better than I did 8 years
Post a Comment
Read more

Year Four, Day 335: "Crisis Fatigue"

Hello Friends! I have missed you! I have been so utterly exhausted and downright depressed, that I couldn't summon enough energy to even lift my fingers to this computer keyboard to write.  Apparently there is a mental disorder for people going through crises.  Crises such as pandemics, systemic racism, political division, unemployment, police brutality, civil unrest.... It's called "crisis fatigue". When humans are presented with a threat, adrenaline is released to give us quick energy. This is called the "fight or flight syndrome". But when threats are overwhelming, and perceivably continuous, like this year, it overwhelms the system. People can feel numb, depressed, anxious and irritable. Yup. That's me.  I guess I'm quite normal after all! I found an interesting article that describes crisis fatigue, especially in relation to current events.  But it doesn't really address how to take care of ourselves during these unsettling times!
1 comment
Read more

Year Two, Day 313: Most Excited Am I!

I almost started today's blog with my standard, "Most tired am I" And I am. So tired. And ready for spring.  But tonight when I got home, my wonderful housemate told me that I had a package waiting for me on the counter.  So I ran in and found the book I had been waiting for: Open Mind, Open Heart , by Thomas Keating. Most excited am I! I put a bag of popcorn in the microwave, filled my water and was heading downstairs to open my new book - but I had to detour around the cat who had just killed and attempted to eat a spider. Good kitty! :) I ordered this book the day that I was inspired to turn my introversion into a positive. To use it as a stepping stone to a deeper relationship with God. To go up to the next level in my spiritual path. Thomas Keating is known as "The leader within the Catholic world in the task of recovering our Christian contemplative heritage" Ewert H. Cousins, General Editor, "World Spirituality, An Encyclopedic Hist
3 comments
Read more