Slept like a rock last night, did I.
Slept to the last possible moment. So no early morning exercise for me. Tomorrow then. I am determined to become a morning person. If it is the last thing I do!
I was pretty blue last night. On top of that, I took the MAX Orange Line from downtown Portland to Milwaukie after my nephew dropped me off at the transit mall in Lake Oswego.
I thought it would help my commute home. But for once, I did not plan my trip. I just got on the #35 in Lake Oswego, headed downtown, and then jumped on the MAX.
I was in a fog. Partly from people overload. Don't get me wrong. I love my family. But once an introvert, always an introvert. I needed time to recharge my battery.
And detox from all the rich food. In addition to prime rib, we had ham, scalloped potatoes, mashed potatoes and gravy, and asparagus. I brought a lovely "Peruvian Hominy Salad" I picked up from Fred Meyer's deli. It had a nice spicy bite to it. I also brought Greek olives, stuffed grape leaves and tzaziki.
All was well until my brother asked my nephew to whip the cream for the strawberry shortcake. I didn't hesitate when he served my portion. I inhaled that shortcake, bisquit and all!
I never have gotten an official diagnosis about my supposed "gluten sensitivity". But I can feel it today. I feel like a weight is on my chest. My tummy is bloated. I feel unshed tears welling up behind my eyes.
This on top of my spiritual angst.
I actually had a lovely conversation with my housemate's grandmother this morning before I headed to work.
We talked about some sadness we experienced dealing with changes in our lives and our families.
We talked about our faith. And I shared with her a bit about my Easter blues. I said something like:
"This year, for Lent and Holy week, I felt myself more present with the Gospel, and my faith then ever. The deep pain, and agony I felt going through it was actually quite beautiful and profound. But on Easter Sunday with everyone saying "He is Risen! I went through the motions, but felt sad. Perhaps it was all the Easter bunny and candy focus. Perhaps it was not having all my family together. But more than that I just kept visualizing the empty tomb. And it seemed to echo the feeling deep in my soul. I know Jesus has been raised and will appear to the apostles and many others for 40 days before he ascends. And he promises to come again. And we will have eternal life if we believe. But I feel so abandoned. Maybe because of my early childhood with a father who I didn't feel loved me. Maybe my faith is not strong enough. "
She shared a bit too. And said we are quite similar. We promised to pray for each other. I felt my heart immediately lighten.
I sound like a broken record, but this is more for my growth then your reading pleasure: I am an introvert. And overly sensitive. I tend to focus too much on what is going on inside of me. And I need an enormous amount of time alone. But what chases away the blues, and helps me feel connected is to help others. So I need to everyday, come out of my shell and reach out. Even if at the end of the day, I retreat back into my shell.
I will probably repeat this.
But now, I am on my way to "Pho Lunch" with my daughter, niece, great niece, and nephew.
Today I am focusing on generosity. Giving of my time. A turtle needs to come out of her shell now and then!
On a side note, I am happy to see I am not alone. I googled "Easter Monday Blues". And I found a few interesting articles. But this one, about how pastors recover from the post Easter blues, really spoke to me:
https://www.pastormentor.com/recovering-post-easter-blues/
I love how he says he has a special chair that he sits in to reflect in after preaching. He says he "meets God there". I love this.
I have a special comfy chair in my room. I think I will make and appointment with God tonight.
Talk to you tomorrow! Hopefully after a nice early morning workout!!!
Happy Monday! :)
Love,
Zita
Slept to the last possible moment. So no early morning exercise for me. Tomorrow then. I am determined to become a morning person. If it is the last thing I do!
I was pretty blue last night. On top of that, I took the MAX Orange Line from downtown Portland to Milwaukie after my nephew dropped me off at the transit mall in Lake Oswego.
I thought it would help my commute home. But for once, I did not plan my trip. I just got on the #35 in Lake Oswego, headed downtown, and then jumped on the MAX.
I was in a fog. Partly from people overload. Don't get me wrong. I love my family. But once an introvert, always an introvert. I needed time to recharge my battery.
And detox from all the rich food. In addition to prime rib, we had ham, scalloped potatoes, mashed potatoes and gravy, and asparagus. I brought a lovely "Peruvian Hominy Salad" I picked up from Fred Meyer's deli. It had a nice spicy bite to it. I also brought Greek olives, stuffed grape leaves and tzaziki.
All was well until my brother asked my nephew to whip the cream for the strawberry shortcake. I didn't hesitate when he served my portion. I inhaled that shortcake, bisquit and all!
I never have gotten an official diagnosis about my supposed "gluten sensitivity". But I can feel it today. I feel like a weight is on my chest. My tummy is bloated. I feel unshed tears welling up behind my eyes.
This on top of my spiritual angst.
I actually had a lovely conversation with my housemate's grandmother this morning before I headed to work.
We talked about some sadness we experienced dealing with changes in our lives and our families.
We talked about our faith. And I shared with her a bit about my Easter blues. I said something like:
"This year, for Lent and Holy week, I felt myself more present with the Gospel, and my faith then ever. The deep pain, and agony I felt going through it was actually quite beautiful and profound. But on Easter Sunday with everyone saying "He is Risen! I went through the motions, but felt sad. Perhaps it was all the Easter bunny and candy focus. Perhaps it was not having all my family together. But more than that I just kept visualizing the empty tomb. And it seemed to echo the feeling deep in my soul. I know Jesus has been raised and will appear to the apostles and many others for 40 days before he ascends. And he promises to come again. And we will have eternal life if we believe. But I feel so abandoned. Maybe because of my early childhood with a father who I didn't feel loved me. Maybe my faith is not strong enough. "
She shared a bit too. And said we are quite similar. We promised to pray for each other. I felt my heart immediately lighten.
I sound like a broken record, but this is more for my growth then your reading pleasure: I am an introvert. And overly sensitive. I tend to focus too much on what is going on inside of me. And I need an enormous amount of time alone. But what chases away the blues, and helps me feel connected is to help others. So I need to everyday, come out of my shell and reach out. Even if at the end of the day, I retreat back into my shell.
I will probably repeat this.
But now, I am on my way to "Pho Lunch" with my daughter, niece, great niece, and nephew.
Today I am focusing on generosity. Giving of my time. A turtle needs to come out of her shell now and then!
On a side note, I am happy to see I am not alone. I googled "Easter Monday Blues". And I found a few interesting articles. But this one, about how pastors recover from the post Easter blues, really spoke to me:
https://www.pastormentor.com/recovering-post-easter-blues/
I love how he says he has a special chair that he sits in to reflect in after preaching. He says he "meets God there". I love this.
I have a special comfy chair in my room. I think I will make and appointment with God tonight.
Talk to you tomorrow! Hopefully after a nice early morning workout!!!
Happy Monday! :)
Love,
Zita
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