I am feeling most sluggish today. But the blues is wearing off. I have resurrected my rosary. It is giving me profound peace as I work through this depression.
It didn't help that I got a 2:00 a.m. call from my family member in crisis. Those of us that have dealt with family members in crisis, know that when the phone rings at 2:00, it is probably not good news.
It wasn't.
But I immediately prayed the rosary for him. When we talked an hour later, it was miraculously not as horrible as it could have been.
I was relieved.
But I did not sleep much afterwards.
Hence, I did not get up early enough to get in my morning workout.
But I put one foot in front of the other. Walked over to my church office job. This has become my haven. As I learn the ropes and become more familiar with the people, I have a nice routine and I feel important. I even learned how to use a laminater last week. I am woman, hear me roar!
I am in charge of overseeing the facility users for our building. We have several AA groups. They are becoming my favorite people. Today, two of them stopped by the office to visit. One had made me a little purse.
The second one just wanted to talk. He said that I am one of the friendliest people he has encountered recently.
As I left my morning job, my head was a bit higher.
And of course, teaching always gets my out of my interior darkness. I love all of my students. My first student of the day on Tuesday, is very creative. She and I are together arranging the Harry Potter Theme for piano. Honestly, most of the work is hers. I am just there for moral support.
Her mother is a friend. She drives me to my next student's house. And we have wonderful conversations. I opened up to her a bit about my family member in crisis. And she had the most brilliant idea - Al-Anon! And I know people who can help me with this resource! People who like to come in and talk to me at my church job.
I love this synchronicity!
My second student of the day, remembered that I love chocolate. So she had saved a chocolate egg for me from her Easter basket.
Who needs antidepressants when you have such wonderful people in your life? My hesistancy is to ever burden friends with my issues. And my issue with my family member in crisis goes way back. So, the challenge here is to find balance. To be able to live my life, be there for him, but not let his setbacks destroy my life. Each day that he is still on this planet, I am grateful.
My rosary is much needed again these days.
And my knitting. Unfortunately, my last blanket I was knitting for my granddaughter to be was ruined at Easter dinner. My mother was a little stressed out dealing with my dad, and I was picking up on her energy. And worried about my family member in crisis. I wasn't paying attention and it got warped beyond repair.
So I made it into a hand towel and am starting over. I bought some new yarn - white with bits of pink in it. I think the other colors are good too, but I am feeling like I want my first project to be a little bit more feminine.
Spiritually speaking, I am feeling better today. When I am suffering, worried about a loved one, or depressed, that is when I lean on my faith. And it always strengthens me.
The empty tomb that I was dwelling on is no longer an aching hole in my chest. Because I reread "the rest of the story". Jesus appears to Mary Magdalene and then three other women, including his mother first. Then to Peter. And then to two disciples on the road to Emmaus. The disciples do not recognize him at first. Which I completely understand. So deep was their grief at his death. And so little was their faith, that even when he appeared, they could not wrap their minds around the fact that he had been resurrected.
This is where I am in the story. I have read it so many times before. But the raw emotion I am feeling this time is making it all the more real.
I am at the library right now. It is a beautiful day outside. Blue sky. Actual, real live sunlight.
Soon I will be on my way to choir practice. I am very tired. My nose is stuffed up again. But
on the bus ride to the library after my last student, a female driver about my age struck up a conversation with me. She was talking about her teenage sons. Both of whom are very musical. And love to read. I felt a pang of envy, which I immediately surpressed.
I love my son dearly, but I was never able to share my joy of reading with him.
But her pride was contagious. I listened to her as she talked about her boys. As I prepared to get off at my stop, she asked me for my card. I was excited. I would like to pick up a few more students, especially this summer, but I hate advertising. But finding a student this way, from a proud, enthusiastic mom. This works for me!
One of my friends on Facebook just posted about his pre-dawn run this morning. It has inspired me. I really hope to get up early tomorrow and start back on my exercise regimen. I want to watch the sunrise as I kick the "D" word in the A*SS!!
On that note, I wish you a Happy Tuesday!
My fruit of the spirit for focus today was "faithfulness". A life long journey for me.
Talk to you tomorrow!
Faithfully,
Zita :)
It didn't help that I got a 2:00 a.m. call from my family member in crisis. Those of us that have dealt with family members in crisis, know that when the phone rings at 2:00, it is probably not good news.
It wasn't.
But I immediately prayed the rosary for him. When we talked an hour later, it was miraculously not as horrible as it could have been.
I was relieved.
But I did not sleep much afterwards.
Hence, I did not get up early enough to get in my morning workout.
But I put one foot in front of the other. Walked over to my church office job. This has become my haven. As I learn the ropes and become more familiar with the people, I have a nice routine and I feel important. I even learned how to use a laminater last week. I am woman, hear me roar!
I am in charge of overseeing the facility users for our building. We have several AA groups. They are becoming my favorite people. Today, two of them stopped by the office to visit. One had made me a little purse.
The second one just wanted to talk. He said that I am one of the friendliest people he has encountered recently.
As I left my morning job, my head was a bit higher.
And of course, teaching always gets my out of my interior darkness. I love all of my students. My first student of the day on Tuesday, is very creative. She and I are together arranging the Harry Potter Theme for piano. Honestly, most of the work is hers. I am just there for moral support.
Her mother is a friend. She drives me to my next student's house. And we have wonderful conversations. I opened up to her a bit about my family member in crisis. And she had the most brilliant idea - Al-Anon! And I know people who can help me with this resource! People who like to come in and talk to me at my church job.
I love this synchronicity!
My second student of the day, remembered that I love chocolate. So she had saved a chocolate egg for me from her Easter basket.
Who needs antidepressants when you have such wonderful people in your life? My hesistancy is to ever burden friends with my issues. And my issue with my family member in crisis goes way back. So, the challenge here is to find balance. To be able to live my life, be there for him, but not let his setbacks destroy my life. Each day that he is still on this planet, I am grateful.
My rosary is much needed again these days.
And my knitting. Unfortunately, my last blanket I was knitting for my granddaughter to be was ruined at Easter dinner. My mother was a little stressed out dealing with my dad, and I was picking up on her energy. And worried about my family member in crisis. I wasn't paying attention and it got warped beyond repair.
So I made it into a hand towel and am starting over. I bought some new yarn - white with bits of pink in it. I think the other colors are good too, but I am feeling like I want my first project to be a little bit more feminine.
Spiritually speaking, I am feeling better today. When I am suffering, worried about a loved one, or depressed, that is when I lean on my faith. And it always strengthens me.
The empty tomb that I was dwelling on is no longer an aching hole in my chest. Because I reread "the rest of the story". Jesus appears to Mary Magdalene and then three other women, including his mother first. Then to Peter. And then to two disciples on the road to Emmaus. The disciples do not recognize him at first. Which I completely understand. So deep was their grief at his death. And so little was their faith, that even when he appeared, they could not wrap their minds around the fact that he had been resurrected.
This is where I am in the story. I have read it so many times before. But the raw emotion I am feeling this time is making it all the more real.
I am at the library right now. It is a beautiful day outside. Blue sky. Actual, real live sunlight.
Soon I will be on my way to choir practice. I am very tired. My nose is stuffed up again. But
on the bus ride to the library after my last student, a female driver about my age struck up a conversation with me. She was talking about her teenage sons. Both of whom are very musical. And love to read. I felt a pang of envy, which I immediately surpressed.
I love my son dearly, but I was never able to share my joy of reading with him.
But her pride was contagious. I listened to her as she talked about her boys. As I prepared to get off at my stop, she asked me for my card. I was excited. I would like to pick up a few more students, especially this summer, but I hate advertising. But finding a student this way, from a proud, enthusiastic mom. This works for me!
One of my friends on Facebook just posted about his pre-dawn run this morning. It has inspired me. I really hope to get up early tomorrow and start back on my exercise regimen. I want to watch the sunrise as I kick the "D" word in the A*SS!!
On that note, I wish you a Happy Tuesday!
My fruit of the spirit for focus today was "faithfulness". A life long journey for me.
Talk to you tomorrow!
Faithfully,
Zita :)
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