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Year Two, Day 352 Barriers

My computer is trying to kill me! Again.
 Τηε κευβοαρδ ισ ονλυ τυπινγ ιν Γρεεκ!

 (My keyboard is only typing in Greek again.)

 Arrggg!  And today of all days, I have many good things to tell you about!  Luckily, with a little clever maneuvering online, I found an online keyboard in English that I can type text in and then copy into my blog.   

Here is the link in case your computer suddenly starts types in a language other than your native tongue:

http://gate2home.com/English-Keyboard


This poor laptop might finally be ready for laptop heaven. 

But on a happier note....


Baby girl clothes!  

I sooo have baby fever!

I was at the church I teach at on Saturdays today.  Knitting.  I am finally to get into the flow.  One of the ladies from the church was going down to the Children's  Closet. It was  not open to the public today. But I asked her if perchance they had newborn baby clothes. She told me they did and I was welcome to go down and take as much as I liked for my new grandbaby! 

I found some precious outfits.  And lemon yellow booties to match the blanket I am knitting! My daughter likes the colors pink and green. I found some lovely outfits in those colors. As I was folding them and putting them in a box for her, 

my heart felt like it was expanding 
(Just like that scene from the "Grinch Who Stole Christmas!) I recalled when my own children were young. I never had the time or patience as a single, working mother to fold and put away their clothes with care.  But today as I was folding, I had the sweetest feeling. In a few months, a precious little baby girl would be wearing these clothes. My daughter's daughter - my granddaughter!

This moment will be forever etched in my mind.

The rest of my day, had me floating on a baby high.  I felt my depression lift and float away.  After teaching all day, I sat down at the piano to play for a bit. I had planned on going to the gym today. I really do not want depression to take over.  But I was tired.  I wanted to go home and knit.  I considered going out to dinner. But I resisted. It was hard! After a long day, I often ''reward'' myself by going out to dinner.

But then the next day, I ache from eating too much, too salty, too late.  And the crushing guilt!   

So I broke through that barrier! I killed it!

I took the bus and then walked briskly home.  I had a small bowl of cottage cheese and fruit. I had a lively discussion with my housemate.



I am beginning to question my sanity. We have all heard the definition of insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results.  Me using food as comfort and as a shield to protect me against the slings and arrows that life shoots at me just has not been working for me. Yes, it feels good at the moment. But then I torture myself with feelings of guilt and regret. Not to mention the toll being overweight has on my health.  This is a lot of baggage I am dragging around. I usually go about my day with a backpack full of things I need for my day.  Music, pens, pencils, snacks, yarn, needles, my prayer journal, my Bible, my kindle, water, etc.  My family make fun of me. It is quite heavy. My son in law says I am doing good training walking with my backpack. Like maybe I should plan on hiking the Pacific Crest Trail.

But I seriously feel like I need all of those items.  Once in awhile I have  a light day. And I do not carry my pack. I feel free as a bird! 

Now just imagine that I actually lost this extra 50 pounds I have been lugging around for way too long.  WHAT A FEELING THAT WOULD BE!

One day at a time.  I am going back to not eating after 7 p.m. 

I will succeed! I have a granddaughter on the way. She deserves a healthy grandma!  


Sooo...I finish blogging, I am going to make a lovely cup of peppermint tea and work on my knitting.

 
I have been taking pictures of trees and flowers as subjects for my waterpainting. I hope to start my first project tomorrow.

The weather cooperated for these pictures. Even though it rained on my way home, I did get a lovely dose of Vitamin D. Sunshine! I wonder if Vitamin D is a good remedy for the D word?  I feel some more research coming on!


 
I do know that too much dwelling on negativity pulls me down. And DOING lifts me up.  Another D!  DOING!  Doing conquers depression!

On that note, I am going to sign off.  I wish you a Happy Saturday! 

As for me, I am going to keep on doing!

Talk to you tomorrow!



  
ΚΑΛΗΝΥΧΤΑ! (Good night!)
 
Ζιτα 

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