I am feeling very good today. I was able to get a morning hoop session in before my granddaughter babysitting shift.
Today is a moderate eating day. I have been sticking to my monk diet regimen! Mon, Wed and Fri are vegan days. Tue, Thur and Sat are moderate days. Sunday is a feast day. I discontinue ingesting all food substances by 6:00 p.m., often as early as 4:30 p.m. daily.
I have managed to lose a few pounds, but those were essentially pounds I put on over the holidays when I lost control.
I feel more in control now. I find that on my moderate days, I am not so eager to eat a lot of heavy animal products. I am actually craving fresh veggies!
And I feel like I have nearly conquered my food addiction. I have a lot more discipline surrounding food. So I am thinking of my eating regimen now as a plan for life. It is flexible. I can adjust my eating window. I can change feast days. But I think this is a plan I can live with!
Now that I have gotten myself under control, my moods are evening out a bit. And my mind is clearing. I have been pondering my last church gig. In particular, what went wrong.
I believe that I did not present myself, especially my musical self as authentically as I could have. Probably, because I am still discovering who I am musically.
Interestingly enough, I have not listened to music much in the last year or so. Perhaps because my heart and soul were heavy with worry and grief about my son.
My son is doing very well now. His baby boy is cherished and well cared for by his mom and grandma. When I visit him, he is just a bubbly package of joy!
I suppose I could worry about the state of this world: The coronavirus, the upcoming presidential election, climate change, etc. But I tend to not worry about big things like that. I stay aware and find it interesting. And I am always ready to take action if I am needed to help someone.
So now that the smoke has cleared, I realize that I need to care for myself better. One thing that is missing is music. In fact, it is the ideal substance to replace my food addiction. But in a healthy way.
Change usually comes quickly in my life. Like in the form of a big sledgehammer from God above. I was watching Jungle Book with my granddaughter last week. The original one. It was one of my favorite childhood movies. My granddaughter is at the stage where she pays attention to plot. She has always loved music. And when, "I Wanna Be Like You", sung by Louis Prima came on, she got up and was dancing ecstatically with the apes! And so was I!
That song has been stuck in my head ever since. And I have developed a fascination with Louis Prima. Which led to me thinking about my musical style. I have for years wanted to branch out from classical, and written musical notation. I taught myself the 12-bar blues about 10 years ago and went through a blues period. I even taught Piano Blues Camp for kids at the music center for several summers in a row.
I still enjoy blues. But something about Louis Prima's sound really touches my soul. I've been reading a bit about him. I have a book about him on hold at the library. This is what Wikipedia has to say:
"While rooted in New Orleans jazz, swing music, and jump blues, Prima touched on various genres throughout his career..."(https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Louis_Prima)
Sorry for rambling. I tend to do that when I get excited about a new interest! So how does this pertain to my style and in particular to church music?
Well, the last church told me what they wanted in a church musician, and I attempted to fit the mold. But I never felt happy. I was told I played too loud, too fast, and then not to play too slow "like a dirge". Man, did I resent that comment! I have never considered myself dirgelike, especially in my music!
But I needed the money, so I tried to be a good little church pianist. But resentment bubbled inside and eventually I had to give notice.
I attended a church with my daughter, son-in-law and granddaughter last Sunday. The music was loud, with a country gospel feel. My granddaughter raised her hands in the air, danced and giggled. And so did I!
I am still searching for myself musically. But I have decided to go a little crazy and let my musical soul come forth. And the next time I apply for a church job, I will be more transparent.
Never again will I sell my soul for a church job!
Perhaps my new theme song should be, "I Wanna Be Like Me!"
Again, I apologize. This blog is crazy, mad, all over the map. I wanted to get my thoughts out, but have no time to edit.
So here they are!
Hopefully I will be more coherent next time.
Happy Tuesday!
Love,
Zita
Here is today's hooping video. Day 216! :)
Today is a moderate eating day. I have been sticking to my monk diet regimen! Mon, Wed and Fri are vegan days. Tue, Thur and Sat are moderate days. Sunday is a feast day. I discontinue ingesting all food substances by 6:00 p.m., often as early as 4:30 p.m. daily.
I have managed to lose a few pounds, but those were essentially pounds I put on over the holidays when I lost control.
I feel more in control now. I find that on my moderate days, I am not so eager to eat a lot of heavy animal products. I am actually craving fresh veggies!
And I feel like I have nearly conquered my food addiction. I have a lot more discipline surrounding food. So I am thinking of my eating regimen now as a plan for life. It is flexible. I can adjust my eating window. I can change feast days. But I think this is a plan I can live with!
Now that I have gotten myself under control, my moods are evening out a bit. And my mind is clearing. I have been pondering my last church gig. In particular, what went wrong.
I believe that I did not present myself, especially my musical self as authentically as I could have. Probably, because I am still discovering who I am musically.
Interestingly enough, I have not listened to music much in the last year or so. Perhaps because my heart and soul were heavy with worry and grief about my son.
My son is doing very well now. His baby boy is cherished and well cared for by his mom and grandma. When I visit him, he is just a bubbly package of joy!
I suppose I could worry about the state of this world: The coronavirus, the upcoming presidential election, climate change, etc. But I tend to not worry about big things like that. I stay aware and find it interesting. And I am always ready to take action if I am needed to help someone.
So now that the smoke has cleared, I realize that I need to care for myself better. One thing that is missing is music. In fact, it is the ideal substance to replace my food addiction. But in a healthy way.
Change usually comes quickly in my life. Like in the form of a big sledgehammer from God above. I was watching Jungle Book with my granddaughter last week. The original one. It was one of my favorite childhood movies. My granddaughter is at the stage where she pays attention to plot. She has always loved music. And when, "I Wanna Be Like You", sung by Louis Prima came on, she got up and was dancing ecstatically with the apes! And so was I!
That song has been stuck in my head ever since. And I have developed a fascination with Louis Prima. Which led to me thinking about my musical style. I have for years wanted to branch out from classical, and written musical notation. I taught myself the 12-bar blues about 10 years ago and went through a blues period. I even taught Piano Blues Camp for kids at the music center for several summers in a row.
I still enjoy blues. But something about Louis Prima's sound really touches my soul. I've been reading a bit about him. I have a book about him on hold at the library. This is what Wikipedia has to say:
"While rooted in New Orleans jazz, swing music, and jump blues, Prima touched on various genres throughout his career..."(https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Louis_Prima)
Sorry for rambling. I tend to do that when I get excited about a new interest! So how does this pertain to my style and in particular to church music?
Well, the last church told me what they wanted in a church musician, and I attempted to fit the mold. But I never felt happy. I was told I played too loud, too fast, and then not to play too slow "like a dirge". Man, did I resent that comment! I have never considered myself dirgelike, especially in my music!
But I needed the money, so I tried to be a good little church pianist. But resentment bubbled inside and eventually I had to give notice.
I attended a church with my daughter, son-in-law and granddaughter last Sunday. The music was loud, with a country gospel feel. My granddaughter raised her hands in the air, danced and giggled. And so did I!
I am still searching for myself musically. But I have decided to go a little crazy and let my musical soul come forth. And the next time I apply for a church job, I will be more transparent.
Never again will I sell my soul for a church job!
Perhaps my new theme song should be, "I Wanna Be Like Me!"
Again, I apologize. This blog is crazy, mad, all over the map. I wanted to get my thoughts out, but have no time to edit.
So here they are!
Hopefully I will be more coherent next time.
Happy Tuesday!
Love,
Zita
Here is today's hooping video. Day 216! :)
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