Dear Friends:
I apologize for my long absence. Frankly, I have had not much to say. And I have been a little frustrated and ashamed of my losing my battle of the bulge. I've been continuing to exercise, but it has been said you can't outrun a poor diet!
But now that spring is here (at least that's what the calendar says! I have heard rumors of snow mixed with rain this weekend - the last weekend in March!), I am feeling a nudge towards rejuvenation!
My daughter and 3 of my granddaughters have been meeting my mom for breakfast in Vancouver every week since my father passed away in December. It is such a delight to have this regular family time. After breakfast, I walked up to the Vancouver Public Library. One of my favorite libraries. I used to spend a lot of time here when I lived in Vancouver.
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| Me at my favorite library! :) |
Embarrassingly enough, my weight had crept up close to the big 200, closer than I would like to admit. I have been self soothing with food lately. Especially the salty, crunchy variety. At night.
Bad me!
No, no! I am not going to backslide into shaming myself again.
I shall just start over once more. This blog has always helped me stay on track. Feeling like I am being seen and heard in a world where sometimes I feel a wee bit invisible.
Not at work, mind you. My students love me. And I them. And we have a wonderful subject to bond over: Music!
This is the last week of spring term at the music center where I teach group piano classes and give private lessons. Next week is spring break.
One of my beginning students, a little girl of 8 years old who LOVES my classes, said goodbye after she picked her sticker. I set about straightening the room when I heard a little knock on the door. I opened it and there she was, with her mom, both of them grinning ear to ear. The little girl held out a bouquet of beautiful roses.
"These are for you, Ms. Zita. You're my favorite teacher!"
I teared up immediately and gave her a little hug. And wiped away a tear.
That moment meant so much to me. I floated through the rest of my day, which was no easy task. I have decided to embrace intermittent fasting again. This time for good! I chose the "Warrior Fast". Which is eating in a 4 hour window (10:30 a.m. to 2:30 p.m. for me) and fasting for 20 hours.
Here is an interesting article about the warrior diet:
Today is day 5.
And I am not doing it alone. I have a fasting buddy!
Last weekend I headed out after church with my son and his family, to my daughter and her family across the Columbia river. My daughter and her husband are photographers. They had an early photo shoot. Usually I hop on the bus, but there was not enough time for that trip since I wanted to go to church first.
So I ordered a Lyft. The lovely woman who picked me up was super friendly. We immediately engaged in lively banter. Mostly about her husband, who is from Italy and a supreme chef! She told me she gained 50 pounds the first year of their marriage.
I confided in her that I need to lose 50 pounds. We continued to chat and then suddenly with both stopped and really looked at each other. She could have been my twin! Same height, roughly the same weight. She's a few years younger than me. But can you say soul sister?!!
Somehow our conversation turned into an exciting challenge. We decided to step on the intermittent fasting train. She is quite the fasting gangster. She is doing OMAD (one meal a day). She only eats one meal during one hour of the day, and fasts for 23 hours.
We exchanged phone numbers. I look forward to her very honest, yet encouraging texts every morning. Yesterday was hard for both of us. She said in her experience that Day 4 is the hardest. We were both tired, cranky and achy. But commiserating with someone going through the same thing gave me strength.
I can't commiserate with my partner. He eats what he wants whenever he has a craving. Often late at night. Often very fattening fare that I can't even look at without gaining weight. He doesn't have the problem. GRRR! lol
So here I am on Day 5! I have been doing pretty well over all. I have been making sure to eat a wholesome meal full of lean protein and lots of veggies for my first meal. Second meal I usually eat fruits, cheese, nuts, hummus, olives and bread. This sustains me until late afternoon. When I start feeling hungry, I just down a bunch of water. If the hunger pangs get strong, I have a kombucha. If it feels almost unbearable, sugar free gum. Evening is a bit rough. But I remember something my brother told me years ago. Think of a growling stomach not as a bad thing, think of it as fat being burned!
My struggle has been mostly at work. I usually ate a small meal about 10 a.m. and then packed a small lunch and snacks to get me through my day of teaching. We are not supposed to eat in our rooms and I have very little time for it anyway. So I would often find myself running to the bathroom between students, shoving assorted snacks in my mouth.
This created a panicky feeling within me that I have had all of my life. A fear of starving and food scarcity. By the time I would get home, often as late as 10p.m., I was famished and told myself "just this one time" I would have a late night snack because "I deserved it!"
But I don't deserve 50 extra pounds on this body.
I was feeling tired and having trouble with achy knees. I would huff and puff on the stairs.
Not to mention the exacerbation of my asthma last month that cause me to miss nearly 2 weeks of work! (I have never missed that much work in my life since I started working at age 17!)
I'm 61 now. Time to get serious if I want to enjoy the rest of my life, sharing my love of music with my students, doing a bit of performing, and most importantly being a part of my 5 (soon to be 6!) grandchildren's life.
It is actually a relief to eat heartily in a 4 hours window and then be done with it! I pack several cans of sparkling water, one kombucha (we are allowed up to 50 calories during our fast. Most of my kombuchas are 30 to 40 calories). I also pack sugar free gum for emergencies. But my mother adamantly disapproves. She says the "fake sugar" will give me insomnia and cause my heart to race.
Well I had that last night, but I think it was due to all the caffeine I've been consuming!
Ahhhh, to find that elusive balance!
I'm still a work in progress. But most committed to positive change!
I am researching essential oils currently. My sense of smell miraculously returned after my exacerbated asthma episode. I was put on yet another course of Prednisone and BOOM! I could smell again! Especially citrus fruits. In fact, the scent of orange was so overwhelming I felt nauseated.
It's subsided a bit. But I want to make sure my sense of smell remains. So I have diffusing lemon in the kitchen and eucalyptus in the bedroom.
I will share more about my essential oil research as I continue.
But for now, I need to hop on a bus and go teach my beloved students!
Have a wonderful, blessed day my friends!
Talk again soon!
Peace,
Zita
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