Skip to main content

Year Four, Day 276: LAWKI

 Hello! 

Here I am again! Two days in a row. I think I might be back in my zone again!  I may sound like a broken record, but as I tell my students, we humans learn by repetition.

We humans learn by repetition...

We humans learn by repetition...

Some (like me!) need more repetition than others!

What I want to say is something I have said many times before: blogging is not only therapeutic for me, I think it is necessary to my sanity.

Especially now.  I hesitate to say "uncertain times" because it has become a trite expression this past year.  These times are not only uncertain, they are downright peculiar.  And the media seems to be feeding us too many of these trite lines.  

Now that the vaccine has arrived, I notice most newscasters are saying, "The vaccine is here. The end is near!"

Giving us hope of returning to life as we knew it, I presume?  

I took an astronomy class for a much needed science credit back in college. I was a piano performance major.  I didn't need much science. And astronomy sounded like an easy A. It wasn't. But it was interesting, especially the professor. One thing I recall from his class is the acronym "LAWKI". 

Life

As

We

Know

It.


And what do we mere humans really know about life anyway?  I know this has been said before, but the more I learn, the more I realize how little I really know.

I must apologize for my haphazard blogging lately. I don't know about you, but this pandemic is taking a toll on my mental health.  

As someone who struggles with mental and emotional health, and frankly finds the whole field fascinating, I have been gravitating towards articles about mental health and the pandemic. I have read several articles claiming that the pandemic has created a mental health crisis.  One article state 1 in 4 young adults have had suicidal thoughts since the arrival of the pandemic.

Here is one such article: https://www.washingtonpost.com/health/2020/11/23/covid-pandemic-rise-suicides/

It is no wonder. This pandemic has created fear and uncertainty. Even as a bit of a loner and introvert, I admit that I need people.  Humans are social creatures.  I mean if I am not given an option to mingle and socialize, what in the world would I hide from?

Kidding aside, I fear that the mental health pandemic that is arising will be more deadly than Covid-19 itself.

However, humans can also be highly adaptible. We have gotten used to much change in our society. Masks, social distancing, online learning, online teaching, and the closure of our beloved restaurants, libraries and gyms. Instead we have Uber eats, Amazon prime and Zoom.

When I was younger, I read a bit of science fiction and dystopian novels about a future world. I found it fascinating. Living it - not so much.  

But underneath it all, even amidst my depression, which has been my own little rain cloud (Note: I edited yesterday's rather rambling blog. I included a true story about my own little rain cloud.  You can read it by clicking here: Year Four, Day 275) since I was little, I do have hope. I seek joy everyday, even on my gloomiest days.

I see joy in the eyes of my grandchildren, in the face of my boyfriend, the sound of his voice and the touch of his hand.  I find joy in teaching, especially overcome techophobia like my first Zoom piano recital last night! I was in tears seeing all my beloved students, playing the pieces we have worked on in their lessons, and playing then with feeling. From their souls.

I do love teaching. I especially enjoy hearing my students perform.

I find joy in my discipline. In avoiding foods that harm. In my daily walks. My daily breathing exercises. My daily hooping.

Where I struggle is keeping my attitude positive.  I can get into my "Teacher Zita" mode for my students, but when I am alone for long periods of time, I tend to not be so nice to myself.  

I think I just had an epiphany.  It is not so deep or profound. But I do believe I need to offer myself a bit more compassion. I have told my boyfriend that I enjoy helping others. That is lifts me up. But I don't easily allow myself to be cared for.  I have quite the independent streak. And a bit of a chip on the old shoulder. 

But if I am not going to allow others to care for me, I need to. Because if I don't take care of myself, I will have nothing left to give.  

I think one of the values of my blogging, is that sometimes I just sit at my computer and start typing. I don't even really know what I am going to say, or what I am thinking. I start with a feeling.

And often, my thoughts are a bit random and disconnected. But today I have stumbled upon something that does keep emerging in my life. 

I desire love. But I have a hard time accepting love. Because the person I most need love from is me.

Excuse me while I pause and shed a tear or two.

Well, perhaps this would be a good place to end today. And a good place to begin tomorrow!

Happy Thursday to you, my dear readers.

Talk to you tomorrow. 


Love,


Zita 







PS I am determined to keep up my hooping!  Today was day 301:




Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Day 347: My Big Fat Greek Salad!!

I have perfected the art of making a Greek salad!  I have made two huge bowls in the last week. My kinds rave. Essentially the secret is f vegetables , good feta cheese, Greek olives and a homemade dressing made with light, extra virgin olive oil, garlic, lemon juice, red wine vinegar,  and oregano. Here is my recipe: MY BIG FAT GREEK SALAD Serves 4 hungry adults 4 cups greens (I used a "spring mix" from Fred Meyer) 2 cucumbers 6 roma tomatoes one small red onion 1 cup cubed feta cheese 1 cup Greek olives (pitted) Get out a big bowl. Peel a clove of garlic, cut in half and rub it over the interior of the bowl.  Wash the lettuce if it is not prewashed and packaged like mine was.  Dry the leaves, and tear into bite sized pieces. Throw into the big bowl. Note: Romaine lettuce is good to include in the mix, because it is hearty. Peel the cucumbers and dice. Add to bowl. Cut the roma tomatoes in half and squeeze out the seeds (otherwise they make th...
Post a Comment
Read more

Year Two, Day 307: Chasing Away The Gloomy Weather...with Music and a Smile! :)

It seems to me that most of the city is depressed, tired and sick. I still have my low grade snuffly nose, along with sneezing, and itching eyes.  Low energy. It is nice to know I am not the only one. Misery loves company, don't you know! Even through the gloom, I had an enjoyable day.  I told myself several times that I really am a lucky woman. My kids are grown, I'm going to be a GRANDMA, and I love my work. My church job is a nice secure little job and it seems I am quite needed there.  I am still learning the ropes. But I am enjoying it. Meeting new people. And best of all, I have only a 1 1/2 minute commute (by foot!). I have a cozy little room in a household full of wonderful laid back people.  People who love animals and music. But best of all, my afternoons are filled with music. I basically get on the bus and travel about town, sitting at pianos, visiting with students, who are like my family. We talk. They play the piano for me. I offer pointe...
Post a Comment
Read more

Year Two, Day 50: Mindful Biking

More breaking ground today. I rode my bike to the Max, and then to my first student, who coincidentally lives close to my gym.  Maggie waiting patiently for me at the gym, 6/28/2016 I am starting to notice positive changes from my daily biking.  First of all, I feel such a sense of freedom and exhiliration when I hop on and take off.  It reminds me of my childhood. My brother and I rode all over Vancouver, WA on summer break.  It was my first experience of independence from a rather harsh father.  Back then we didn't wear helmets. And there were many hills. I will never forget the joy of coasting down a hill with the wind in my hair. I have hints of the feeling now. I also have noticed my energy is higher. And although I am sore (cycling uses muscles that I have not worked in awhile), I am getting stronger. Feeling strong! Cycling is also good for my mind. I find myself going through routes in my head. I am hoping to add more routes to my day...
Post a Comment
Read more