I had a lovely morning, playing for a Presbyterian church service. Their regular church pianist was out of town. I occasionally sub for her, when the need arises.
I ascended to a new level this morning. Very little nerves, or extra emotional responses. I had prepared three pieces to play. I practiced for an hour before bed.
This morning I woke up early, but was very tired. I skipped my morning hoop and took a nice, long, hot shower with the hope of rejuvenation. It worked for a bit.
But what really perked me up was a Bacon, Egg and Cheese Biscuit and Iced Mocha from McDonald's. I used the app on my phone. I got a free breakfast sandwich with the iced coffee drink. Which was entirely too sweet for my liking.
But it lifted me high enough to soar through church. Amazingly enough, the postlude I chose "I Sing the Mighty Power of God" from Gesangbuch der Herzogl, 1784; arranged for piano by Colleen Adent was the same tune as the closing congregational hymn. I chose to play it slower, in a contemplative fashion. I could feel the energy in the sanctuary. The people were moved. The hairs on my arms stood on end. I love when I am completely immersed in my playing, being in the moment with each note. There is mighty power in music!
But I plummeted afterwards. Big time. Especially after the pastor told me their treasurer was on vacation and had forgotten to write out my check.
I was a tad bummed. I had planned on using a bit of that money for a relaxing pedicure. He promised they would send it in the mail. I assured him it was no problem.
But as I walked away from the church, I felt a little lost. It is hot today. And I am sooo tired. I had visions of going home and grabbing my gym bag and getting a workout in. But the thought of it makes me feel light-headed.
What I desire is a nice nap. But I am over the state line. Where can a person nap safely away from home?
I thought about an acupuncture session. Or a massage. But like the pedicure, that would cost money. And without today's pay, I am afraid I just can't afford it.
So I headed out to one of my favorite lunch spots: HoHo. I had one of their very reasonably priced lunch specials. I ordered the seafood combination. Sauteed shrimp, scallops and squid in a lovely white sauce with veggies over rice. I thought that might be light enough. I had a few cups of tea to keep me conscious.
It helped. But shortly after I left the restaurant, the fatigue returned. I put my head against the cool window of the bus. I pondered going home for a nap. But that is a long trip. I would certainly pass out on the way.
I had a CD to return to the library. And my cell phone battery was nearly drained.
So here I am again. At the Library. My home away from home.
I was disappointed to find all the computers were taken when I arrived. The faces set aglow by the computer screens all looked as tired as I felt. I wished I could just lay down on the floor.
But instead, I found a table with an outlet and charged my cell phone. Then my pulse quickened, and I felt myself regain consciousness as I noticed the "Hot Titles" on display. I picked up a few books and sat down to peruse them while my phone charged.
And I do believe I read nearly 1/4 of Nora Roberts new novel, Year One. When I "woke up", I discovered it was becoming a wee bit too disturbing to me. I had flashbacks of Stephen King's novel of The Stand. In a nutshell, the plot revolves around a global pandemic, evil and witchcraft. After my brush with an alleged demon yesterday, I did not want to open any more doors to evil.
Perhaps the devil is indeed pursuing me?
I recalled a scripture my friend K shared with me years ago. I had written it on a 3x5 card and submitted it to memory.
"Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Lament and mourn and weep! Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up." ~James 4: 7-10 (NKJV)
I shuddered, closed the book and reshelved it. I noticed another book on the shelf below:
The Fox Hunt: A Refugee’s Memoir of Coming to America, by Mohammed al Samewi. Here is the description on Amazon.com:
"Born in the Old City of Sana’a, Yemen, to a pair of middle-class doctors, Mohammed Al Samawi was a devout Muslim raised to think of Christians and Jews as his enemy. But when Mohammed was twenty-three, he secretly received a copy of the Bible, and what he read cast doubt on everything he’d previously believed. After connecting with Jews and Christians on social media, and at various international interfaith conferences, Mohammed became an activist, making it his mission to promote dialogue and cooperation in Yemen.
Then came the death threats: first on Facebook, then through terrifying anonymous phone calls. To protect himself and his family, Mohammed fled to the southern port city of Aden. He had no way of knowing that Aden was about to become the heart of a north-south civil war, and the battleground for a well-funded proxy war between Iran and Saudi Arabia. As gunfire and grenades exploded throughout the city, Mohammed hid in the bathroom of his apartment and desperately appealed to his contacts on Facebook.
Miraculously, a handful of people he barely knew responded. Over thirteen days, four ordinary young people with zero experience in diplomacy or military exfiltration worked across six technology platforms and ten time zones to save this innocent young man trapped between deadly forces— rebel fighters from the north and Al Qaeda operatives from the south."
And also:
Recovery: Freedom from Our Addictions, by Rusell Brand.
How's that for diversity? I read the opening paragraphs of both books. I am hooked. The difficult decision will be which book to start first? I intend on remembering these books, so no more book napping. At least for today!
I do feel a bit revived. As if I had had an actual nap! I don't recall how long I read. Perhaps a half hour, or more. But my phone is now at 35%! And I found an open computer.
This morning's church service was actually quite lovely. I am not desparate for the paycheck. In fact, it turns out I would not have discovered the book nap if I had instead opted for a pedicure.
At lunch, I read another chapter of Battlefield of the Mind: Winning the Battle in Your Mind, by Joyce Meyer. I have so much work to do. My mind is my worst enemy. I find myself noticing negative thoughts about myself - like an old record on a phonograph - that I am not even consciously thinking. Luckily, I am getting better at turning of the turntable. And lifting that needle up without making a scratching sound. And replacing it with a more positive record.
Not a phony, positive record. But wholesome, good thoughts. About God. About life. About everyday miracles. About family.
Since Grace was born, I have become more discerning about my entertainment. I watch very little tv, except for Little House on the Prairie with Gracie.
I was ecstatic to find the documentary "The Up Series" at my last visit to the library. I saw the first episode when I was a young adult in college. I met my parents at Cinema 21. It was a life changing film for me. And now I've discovered, they have interviewed this same group of kids all the way up to age 56! Which, coincidentally (or not!) is my age!
Perhaps I should take the day off from working out and watch it this afternoon. I usually say that one needs to expend energy to create energy. But frankly, I feel an afternoon and evening of rest is in order.
My daughter, son-in-law and Gracie are heading out of town for a couple of days this week. I have Honey Dawg duty. But I also have one day that I don't go to Portland. It will be a good day to work out and finish organizing my room. And organizing my head!
God is all knowing. He created the whole universe and then He rested.
If it's good enough for Him, it's good enough for me!
On that note, I am going to hop on a bus while I am still awake and aware!
Talk to you tomorrow!
Love,
Zita
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