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Year Four, Day 65: All the Monks and Nuns

How I wish I could share with you, my reader, everything that is on my heart this morning
 It is 5:27 a.m. I have been awake since roughly 4:00 a.m.

Hopefully I can speak more freely after Tuesday.

That is when my family member in crisis goes before the judge.  Hopefully he'll be released shortly afterwards.

It has been a long week.

For him, for me, for his girlfriend. And for our whole family.

I've been waking up every morning about 4:00 a.m. I worry, I fret.  Sometimes I go back to sleep. But when I finally face the day, I also have to face the reality that I am missing my family member in crisis.

Missing him so much that it feels like a piece of my flesh has been torn off.

But I must be strong. And positive.  When he called yesterday, his voice sounded lighter.  He told me he was on to us.

"I know what you guys are doing",  he said with a smile in his voice.

"You are trying to act all as if everything is o.k. to keep me positive".

I told him I had a good feeling that everything would turn out o.k.

After all I have shared his story with monks and nuns all around the world.

A fellow inmate came up to him recently. He sat down across from him and told him it seemed like a lot of people were praying for him.  This was before I even mentioned all the monks and nuns.

"God told me that you needed a friend", he said.

I thank God for this friend. I feel like he is an earth angel.

I would like to say more, but I have a student soon.

I will say that I made progress in my own healing this morning. Instead of laying in bed fretting, I got up and got ready for my day. Then I sat in the rocking chair and read my bible and prayed. Like a little old lady. Like a grandma.

I guess I am now!

Then I went outside and hooped.

Like a hooping granny!



It helped.  Every little thing helps. And hopefully time will heal.

Talk to you really soon.

Love,

Zita


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