Skip to main content

Year Four, Day 67: In My Own Little Corner

I spent the morning in court.  This process is opening my eyes to the plight of inmates.  Everyone makes mistakes in their lives. Some learn from their mistakes.  Some are destroyed from them. 

I'm not even addressing the evil criminals. Those that get pleasure from inflicting pain on others. Or those who feel they are above the law.

I'm talking about people who make mistakes due to poor judgment.  Often due to addiction. Which should be considered an illness, in my opinion. But that is another soapbox.

What I saw today simply saddened me.  Many inmates went before a judge who asked if they had read the charges and understood them.  Most had not read the paper. Some didn't know there was a paper.  Most did not understand.  They were told to read it and come back. And if they had questions, they could ask their attorney.

One man looked up sadly and said, "I did not even know I had an attorney".

I realize our jails are overcrowded. Legal language is confusing.  I can understand how our society functions looking at it from the outside.  But from the inside? From the perspective of the person who made a mistake that he or she is going to have to pay for through losing their freedom?

And why are our jails overcrowded?  I saw a lot of substance related crimes. Why are so many people addicted?

Talk about  a big knot!  But these are questions that cannot easily be answered. 

Perhaps it would be useful to find out how we can help those incarcerated and their families. To make sense of their situation, to navigate the legal system, and how to use their time wisely if they are sentenced to time in jail. Or simply to give comfort, and perhaps pray with and for them. 

I feel the need to do something.

In the meantime, I am trying to be the best me that is possible. The best teacher, grandma, mom, daughter, sister and friend. 

It is all I can do. It reminds me of the helpless feeling I had after the attack on 9/11/2001.  I had a client call and ask if I was given therapeutic massages that afternoon. I told him I hadn't thought about it. I was in shock.

He told me that he was too, but that maybe by living our lives in our little corner of the world, as best we could we be how we could heal.

I thought that was very wise. I gave that massage. We both cried the entire time. But the connection made me feel that evil will not prevail. 

And I feel like that now.

Focusing on the love. In my own little corner of the world.



Talk to you soon.

Love,

Zita




Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Year Four, Day 328: Success at Last!! This is What I Do

Hello My Long Lost Friends! Or, perhaps it was I who was lost? And now I think I am beginning to find myself!  Under layers of fat, and self loathing!  How's that for an opening line!  Or perhaps the title of a novel:  Layers of Fat and Self-Loathing! Today I stepped on the scale.  I am weighing myself every morning these days. I was shocked! I told my partner the scale must be broken!  Yesterday I weight 186. Today 185! I have been on a strict intermittent fast for the past 10 weeks. I have officially lost 12 pounds!  And the best news is I think I not only can stick to this way of eating, I am actually beginning to really enjoy it!  And look how far I've come! I've been writing since May 12, 2015.  Over 8 years now!  I know this blog post says Year Four, Day 328, but there have been many pauses in blogging. For instance, when I am not pleased with progress or simply have no words! I was 53 when I first began blogging. I am now 61. I honestly feel better than I did 8 years

Year Four, Day 335: "Crisis Fatigue"

Hello Friends! I have missed you! I have been so utterly exhausted and downright depressed, that I couldn't summon enough energy to even lift my fingers to this computer keyboard to write.  Apparently there is a mental disorder for people going through crises.  Crises such as pandemics, systemic racism, political division, unemployment, police brutality, civil unrest.... It's called "crisis fatigue". When humans are presented with a threat, adrenaline is released to give us quick energy. This is called the "fight or flight syndrome". But when threats are overwhelming, and perceivably continuous, like this year, it overwhelms the system. People can feel numb, depressed, anxious and irritable. Yup. That's me.  I guess I'm quite normal after all! I found an interesting article that describes crisis fatigue, especially in relation to current events.  But it doesn't really address how to take care of ourselves during these unsettling times!

Year Four, Day 247: What Happened in Vegas...

  Expectations can be brutal. Especially when reality dashes them against the rocky shores of our souls. How's that for an opening line? I was so excited about my recent trip to Las Vegas.  I haven't travelled anywhere in so long. I do believe I have been bit by the travel bug.  I want the freedom to go places I have never been, see things I have never seen and experience life as a stellar adventure! My kids are young adults with families of their own.  I have my role as Zma, as Teacher Zita. But I am on a quest to find Zita. She's hidden someone deep inside. Covered in layers. Like an onion. I like the onion analogy. Notice the outermost layer of an onion - dry  and papery. As you peel off layers, the inside is juicy and sweet. I have paid my dues of sacrifice, shame and self deprivation.  What I want now is to embrace the life I have remaining. Have you seen the life pie chart? I don't know where I read this, but it stuck with me.  Draw a circle.  And then divide it i