Sorry for my lengthy absence. I have been under the weather. Deeply. I feel as if I have been to Gehenna and back.
"In rabbinic literature Gehenna is a destination of the wicked.[3] This is different from the more neutral Sheol/Hades, the abode of the dead, although the King James Version of the Bible usually translates both with the Anglo-Saxon word Hell." https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gehenna
I still have one foot in. I am not completely healed. My cough has returned. With a vengeance. I am extremely weak and wheezy.
Wheezy. Sounds like one of the Seven Dwarves. I guess that would make me the 8th Dwarf!
I will not be able to blog much, but I have missed talking to you about my life. I feel pent up without this outlet. So I am just checking in.
I have spoken with my Pulmonary Physician's Assistant. She believes it is time to go to the next level. As if my asthma were a living video game! She has ordered me a new inhaler. Part steroid, part Albuterol.
By the way, did you know you can overdose on Albuterol? Apparently it can be lethal. Good to know. Albeterol is a "bronchodilator". It is also called a "rescue inhaler". To be used as needed. The standard dose is two puffs every 4 to 6 hours. On good days I don't need it at all. But last night, I felt like I was coughing up one of my own lungs. I had my inhaler in my purse by my bedside. I actually woke up finding myself using my inhaler. Unfortunately I do not know how many puffs I had on the counter before I lay down. But I've been feeling on edge all day. I emailed my brother, the pharmacist who was the one who told me one can overdose.
"Overdose symptoms may include dry mouth, tremors, chest pain, fast heartbeats, nausea, general ill feeling, seizure (convulsions), feeling light-headed or fainting." https://www.rxlist.com/albuterol-sulfate-drug/patient-images-side-effects.htm#missdose
My heart felt like it was racing and I felt weak most of the day. I checked my BP and heart rate at a kiosk near the pharmacy today. My BP was good: 117/76. My pulse was 109. But I had much coffee, it's hot outside and I am sleep deprived.
I think I am good.
I have been hearing that others are suffering. The pollen count is high in our area. My brother told me his allergies have been attacking him too. He recommended a very small dose of Benadryl. I told him I hate Benadryl. "I'd rather suffer with itchy eyes and a drippy nose, then suffer brain fog."
But he told me that he takes 1/4 tab at night. It does not make him drowsy. I tried Benadryl two nights ago. It did help the itchy, tickly feeling in my throat and chest. I slept better than usual. I was not drowsier then usual in the morning. But last night I took another Benadryl. And experienced the cough from Gehenna. And no relief from symptoms. Sigh.
I am a living experiment.
This past week, I came face to face with my own mortality. We are, after all all terminal. We just don't all know when the final end will come. I thought it was near this week.
And it was quite freeing. Every time I started to worry about something, I told myself, "This might be your last day". And I would smile. And feel a release inside my chest. And a flood of joy. I would appreciate whatever human being I was in contact with.
I know it has been said before by positive thinking writers that you should live each day as if it were your last. I'm not sure I can always accomplish this. But when I get into that moment, of being still, breathing (if my asthma doesn't interfere), and paying attention to each small detail, I do feel joy. And love.
This mindset was quite helpful in teaching group piano. I told all of my classes at the beginning of each class that my asthma had flared up. I told that them what asthma was, and how it was affecting me. I told them I would be speaking quietly, and moving a little slower. That I was not grumpy, just needing to conserve my breath.
My students, overall were amazing. We had more conversations, less silliness and genuine expressions of curiosity and compassion.
I think slowing down is a good thing for me. But so is oxygen. So I am determined to solve this asthma dilemma! This is my arsenal from yesterday: Iced tea with Vitamin C powder, cough drops, saline nose spray, eye drops and dried ginger. Oh and my bible and my latest Carson McCuller's novel (almost done - excellent book!), The Heart is a Lonely Hunter. And then later that day, my dinner of BiBimBap downtown at "Rice Junkies". Sadly, I still descended into Gehenna last night.
But I shall not stay!
I am greatly distressed that I have not had many Qi Gong and hooping sessions due to my low energy. Tonight I plan on going to bed early. I am going to try and elevate the head of my bed even further. I probably will not sleep with my C-PAP machine tonight. Last night, I woke up wheezing and coughing while hooked up to the C-PAP. You should not breathe through your mouth when using the C-PAP. That's the whole idea. My throat is sore and raw as a result.
I have been eating more fresh fruit, mostly in the form of smoothies. I am trying to get more water in and fresh veggies too. But I think the magic ingredient for me will be a night of restful sleep.
So tomorrow I shall sleep in. As long as I desire. I have already put my daughter on notice.
It is my Mother's Day gift to myself.
After all, I am not ready for my last day in this mortal life. There is still so much to discover!
On that note, I must say goodbye. Feeling weak and wheezy again.
I hope to talk to you tomorrow. Be well and happy!
Love,
Zita
P.S. Here is my newest hooping video. It was two days ago. Before my descent. Day 64.
"In rabbinic literature Gehenna is a destination of the wicked.[3] This is different from the more neutral Sheol/Hades, the abode of the dead, although the King James Version of the Bible usually translates both with the Anglo-Saxon word Hell." https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gehenna
I still have one foot in. I am not completely healed. My cough has returned. With a vengeance. I am extremely weak and wheezy.
Wheezy. Sounds like one of the Seven Dwarves. I guess that would make me the 8th Dwarf!
I will not be able to blog much, but I have missed talking to you about my life. I feel pent up without this outlet. So I am just checking in.
I have spoken with my Pulmonary Physician's Assistant. She believes it is time to go to the next level. As if my asthma were a living video game! She has ordered me a new inhaler. Part steroid, part Albuterol.
By the way, did you know you can overdose on Albuterol? Apparently it can be lethal. Good to know. Albeterol is a "bronchodilator". It is also called a "rescue inhaler". To be used as needed. The standard dose is two puffs every 4 to 6 hours. On good days I don't need it at all. But last night, I felt like I was coughing up one of my own lungs. I had my inhaler in my purse by my bedside. I actually woke up finding myself using my inhaler. Unfortunately I do not know how many puffs I had on the counter before I lay down. But I've been feeling on edge all day. I emailed my brother, the pharmacist who was the one who told me one can overdose.
"Overdose symptoms may include dry mouth, tremors, chest pain, fast heartbeats, nausea, general ill feeling, seizure (convulsions), feeling light-headed or fainting." https://www.rxlist.com/albuterol-sulfate-drug/patient-images-side-effects.htm#missdose
My heart felt like it was racing and I felt weak most of the day. I checked my BP and heart rate at a kiosk near the pharmacy today. My BP was good: 117/76. My pulse was 109. But I had much coffee, it's hot outside and I am sleep deprived.
I think I am good.
I have been hearing that others are suffering. The pollen count is high in our area. My brother told me his allergies have been attacking him too. He recommended a very small dose of Benadryl. I told him I hate Benadryl. "I'd rather suffer with itchy eyes and a drippy nose, then suffer brain fog."
But he told me that he takes 1/4 tab at night. It does not make him drowsy. I tried Benadryl two nights ago. It did help the itchy, tickly feeling in my throat and chest. I slept better than usual. I was not drowsier then usual in the morning. But last night I took another Benadryl. And experienced the cough from Gehenna. And no relief from symptoms. Sigh.
I am a living experiment.
This past week, I came face to face with my own mortality. We are, after all all terminal. We just don't all know when the final end will come. I thought it was near this week.
And it was quite freeing. Every time I started to worry about something, I told myself, "This might be your last day". And I would smile. And feel a release inside my chest. And a flood of joy. I would appreciate whatever human being I was in contact with.
I know it has been said before by positive thinking writers that you should live each day as if it were your last. I'm not sure I can always accomplish this. But when I get into that moment, of being still, breathing (if my asthma doesn't interfere), and paying attention to each small detail, I do feel joy. And love.
This mindset was quite helpful in teaching group piano. I told all of my classes at the beginning of each class that my asthma had flared up. I told that them what asthma was, and how it was affecting me. I told them I would be speaking quietly, and moving a little slower. That I was not grumpy, just needing to conserve my breath.
My students, overall were amazing. We had more conversations, less silliness and genuine expressions of curiosity and compassion.
I think slowing down is a good thing for me. But so is oxygen. So I am determined to solve this asthma dilemma! This is my arsenal from yesterday: Iced tea with Vitamin C powder, cough drops, saline nose spray, eye drops and dried ginger. Oh and my bible and my latest Carson McCuller's novel (almost done - excellent book!), The Heart is a Lonely Hunter. And then later that day, my dinner of BiBimBap downtown at "Rice Junkies". Sadly, I still descended into Gehenna last night.
But I shall not stay!
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| My Staying Out of Gehenna Arsenal |
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| BiBimBap |
I am greatly distressed that I have not had many Qi Gong and hooping sessions due to my low energy. Tonight I plan on going to bed early. I am going to try and elevate the head of my bed even further. I probably will not sleep with my C-PAP machine tonight. Last night, I woke up wheezing and coughing while hooked up to the C-PAP. You should not breathe through your mouth when using the C-PAP. That's the whole idea. My throat is sore and raw as a result.
I have been eating more fresh fruit, mostly in the form of smoothies. I am trying to get more water in and fresh veggies too. But I think the magic ingredient for me will be a night of restful sleep.
So tomorrow I shall sleep in. As long as I desire. I have already put my daughter on notice.
It is my Mother's Day gift to myself.
After all, I am not ready for my last day in this mortal life. There is still so much to discover!
On that note, I must say goodbye. Feeling weak and wheezy again.
I hope to talk to you tomorrow. Be well and happy!
Love,
Zita
P.S. Here is my newest hooping video. It was two days ago. Before my descent. Day 64.
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