Hello Again Friends!
What a beautiful morning, on this last day of May, 2022! It happens to also be my man's birthday! I feel positive energy in the air. Perhaps it is the sun's warm rays warming my little herb garden on my front patio. I was overjoyed this morning as I opened the curtains and the windows to let in some fresh air. I peered out at my neighbor's cheerful red rose, and I spotted new sprouts in my herb garden! I potted them a few weeks ago and do a happy dance every time I see a little sprout poke his nose out.
At this point, my thyme, dill and cilantro has sprouted. I was worried with all the rain that they might not come up. There is not enough sun on my windowsill, so I put them outside. I am thrilled to see they have survived, even a few of them!
I started my morning with a strawberry/mango/pineapple/coconut milk with flax seed and collagen smoothie. Then I did my morning Qi Gong and a bit of hooping. I have to admit I slept in, since tonight is my late night teaching. I have choir practice until 9 pm. I have never had much energy in the morning, and lately I feel downright groggy and yucky. So I let myself linger in bed. My granddaughter called to video chat with me. That put a smile on my face and color in my cheeks. We are both so excited because I will be flying to Idaho to visit her and her younger twin sisters for a week. I will be staying with my oldest granddaughter for 4 days while their mom and dad take a trip. I told her we would have a wild time - staying up all night eating ice cream, watching movies and jumping on the bed!
She turned very serious at that point and said, "Zma, I should not eat ice cream right before bed and I will have to go to bed at my bedtime."
Such a responsible child! I guess Zma is the black sheep in this family!
I wanted to continue with my "Little Old Lady in the Hood" topic today. Many of my friends expressed concern for me. Let me clarify that I love to walk and take the bus. I voluntarily gave up my car about 20 years ago when I was living in inner southeast Portland, just a short walk from my work and nearly everything! I was quite heavy then and ashamed to admit, sometimes I would drive two blocks to the grocery store. Arggg. The buses in Portland are very convenient. And I was frankly tired of being mama chaffeur to my kids and all their friends - who were quite a handful back then!
So I sold my van and started walking and bussing. And I haven't stopped!
I rarely felt unsafe. I carried mace, but have only used it twice in my life.
But now it seems, Portland is a more dangerous place. I am more aware. I am ordering more mace and a taser. I have a bat light. And I guess I will have to be more wary of talking to strangers. This makes me sad, but the one good remnant of the pandemic is that most people still wear masks on the bus and do not sit with strangers.
The recent encounter I had was more alarming than the one I shared yesterday. Alarming because the man who approached me was a bit of a stalker from my past. From when I lived in inner SE with my two kids. When I had just started walking everywhere, including to work.
This was 15-20 years ago.
It happened maybe a half dozen times. I recall the first time. I was walking home and I heard a car slow down beside me. I glanced to the side and saw a man, smiling and leaning out his window. He appeared to be leering. I remember thinking he might want directions, so I slowed my pace.
I don't remember exactly what he said. But I remember what I felt. Irritation. He said something about how nice I looked in my long skirt. He had a strong accent. He was white, pale, with curly dark hair. He appeared to be not very tall. He drove an older, blue Honda.
I thanked him and quickened my pace. But he drove slowly beside me. He asked if I wanted a ride or if I'd like to go out to dinner with him. The whole time he was laughing. I dismissed it as a creepy guy.
The thing is, he would appear out of nowhere now and then. Saying the same things. Basically trying to hit on me. Finally I told him to stop. But it continued at random times for I want to say several years. He never threatened me. But it bothered me.
I remember he was insistent and would keep asking me why I didn't want to go out with him. I finally think I told him I had a boyfriend. I had enough sense to not tell him he was a creepy guy that I felt was stalking me.
And I was ever so slightly flattered. I mean I was really heavy back then and didn't feel very attractive. But not desperate enough to get in the car with a strange, creepy stalker!
So, a week or so ago, I was waiting at the bus stop. Wearing a long dress. It was the bus stop I fled to on Easter Sunday, a couple of blocks away from the bus stop near the strip club. I didn't want to tempt fate. I was waiting for the bus, checking my email, when I saw a short man with curly gray hair walk up. He immediately started talking. Same accent, same fast speech. My heart started racing. I knew in my gut it was creepy stalker guy. He was asking me when the bus was due. I told him, and went back to my email. But he kept talking, fast. He told me he was supposed to meet his friends at the apartments he came from (this is the complex to my east that is really run down where the people put bed sheets up as curtains. I haven't encountered any of the residents, but I've seen some adorable kids that play and run amock.)
I was pretty sure it was creepy guy. I had a headache and my allergies were flaring up. I did not want to engage in conversation.
But he persisted in telling me all about what was going on with him. Me, a supposed stranger. Then he stopped. He was looking at me. I could feel his beady little eyes.
"You look so pretty in the dress", he sneered. "Are you going to church?"
At that point I knew it was him. I called my man. I turned away from creepy guy and told him there was a guy bothering me at the bus stop and I didn't want to talk to him. I expected my man to just stay on the phone with me until the bus arrived.
But, as fate would have it, he was at my apartment. He comes storming out looking like a mean pirate! I have never felt so protected.
He stood with me with his arm around me. Creepy guy actually RAN back to the apartment complex. But then he came back, phone to his ear. He was glaring at my man. My man glared back.
And alarmingly, they exchanged hostile words. Creepy guy said, "What you looking at? You got a problem? You racist?"
My man walked over and told him to stay away from his woman. I felt the tension rise. I walked over and took my man's arm. Told him it was ok.
Thankfully, just then the bus pulled up.
I think besides mace and a taser, I am going to start being more assertive. I deserve to be able to walk and take the bus alone, in broad daylight without this unwanted male attention. I deserve to wear a skirt. I am a Zma!
But before I end, I must tell you a very positive story about men. I went to my gym a few weeks back. Afterwards, I headed next door to the Dollar Tree to pick up some household items. It was warm when I left the apartment. I did not bring a jacket or an umbrella. And I found way too many things I thought I needed. I ended up with two paper bags full of items. I live close enough that I could have walked - maybe 1/2 mile - but as soon as I exited the store, it began to rain. Downpour really.
I checked the bus tracker. I had about 10 minutes, so I stayed back under the awning. But then I got anxious. The bags were getting heavy. I started across the parking lot to the bus stop. It was not covered, but the bus was due in like 5 minutes. There was a group of men standing there. Maybe late 30's to 40's in age. Speaking in what sounded like Arabic.
I stood politely away from them, trying to balance my bags. Then one of the men approached me. I inhaled sharply, not sure what to expect.
"Miss", he said politely. "Please take my umbrella until the bus arrives. We have another".
I was stunned. I thanked him and took his umbrella. But then I noticed my cheap Dollar Tree bags where breaking from getting wet.
I tried to adjust them, but my items began spilling out. I looked over at the group of men and asked if they would watch my things while I ran into the Dollar Tree for more bags. The bus was due in 3 minutes. I figured I could make it.
One of them held up his hand and reached in his backpack. He proceeded to take out a plastic bag and remove all of his groceries from it. He then brought the whole bag to me!
I almost burst into tears right there at his kindness. I thanked him. Just then the bus arrived. I handed him my umbrella, again thanking him.
All of the men just nodded. Apparently in the their culture, grandmothers are respected? Or was it just this group of men.
I frankly don't care. With all the bad stories we hear on the news, with all of my negative encounters, just this one moment gave me hope for humanity again.
And on that note, I have to run. The gym is calling and so is the sunshine!
Happy Tuesday!
Love,
Zita
Comments
Post a Comment