Hello Friends!
I am finally sitting down to post on my blog after a bit of an absence. I am having a real, live, actual day off today! Today is Memorial Day.
I purposefully did not plan anything for today. I was feeling overwhelmed with my schedule and expectations that I put upon myself. I am at the tail end of recital season - which I LOVE - but I put my whole self into. This year I held 4 in person piano student recitals, and one virtual recital. They were all glorious! But after performance I have a bit of the blues. Which is probably mostly related to exhaustion, but partially coming back down to earth.
Right now, I just need to slow down and breathe, be in the present and reconnect with my peaceful center.
I am sitting at my little table in front of the window. I have the curtains and the windows open. Aside from the fact that this is known as "not the best neighborhood", I find it very peaceful to have the breeze flowing. The neighbors to the south of my apartment have beautiful, red rose that are peeking at me. It rained (again) last night, so their are still droplets of water on their leaves. I smile every time I look out the window at them. :)
In fact, I think I will step outside right now and take a picture to share with you!
I have a little area in front of my window that I would like to cultivate. I would like a little bit of nature to appreciate right outside my front door. Especially since the other view is not so pleasant. There is a large apartment complex with some rather rough looking people just to the east. Most of them either have no curtains, or bedsheets strewn across their windows. The slats on our fence are deteriorating, and do nothing to hid the piles of random things piled up on the other side of the fence.
I have decided with this recent move, to live a more peaceful, tidy, respectful life. I remember too well the times, living on the edge of poverty, barely keeping my head above water. I did not live a tidy life then. It was a life of desperation.
Maybe I am finally embracing my little old ladyhood. Or perhaps I am just a little old lady in the hood? I like that! In fact, I think I shall make it the title of today's blog post!
Having a day with no obligations is not only relaxing, it is necessary for my mental health. The quiet stills my mind and helps me find my peaceful center. I find myself rediscovering my core self. And I am yet again, feeling the need to purge excesses from my life.
Before I sat down at my computer, with my friend, the rose peeking at me, I made myself a smoothie. One very positive health habit I have actually stuck with since my move is my morning smoothie. Most days, I do not eat until after 10 a.m. Then I blend various frozen fruit, flax meal, juice or nondairy milk and collagen powder in my little personal blender. I feel revitalized with every sip!
My eating habits often spiral downward as the day goes on, but at least I have my morning smoothie!
After I made my smoothie, I went through my Qi Gong routine. I am working on making this a daily habit. Qi Gong and prayer are my antidepressants.
If you are not familiar with Qi Gong, here is a definition from Qi Gong for Vitality with Jeffrey Chand, an instructor whose videos I enjoy:
"Qigong, pronounced “chee gung” is an ancient Chinese moving meditation exercise, that looks similar to Tai Chi, but is easier to learn and practice. Qigong involves proper:
- body movement
- breathing
- mental focus and intention
It is gentle on the physical body, and can be practiced by anyone. While it has spiritual applications, Qigong is not a religious practice – so it is inclusive of all people and backgrounds.
The word “qi” can generally be translated as energy, life force, vital energy, or Spirit. Qi can also mean “breath.”
The word “gong” can be translated into cultivation, work, skill, or mastery.
Broadly, Qigong means – Qi cultivation."
Aside from my morning smoothie and Qi Gong practice, I have been making it to the gym 4 to 5 days a week. I am on day 67 today! I do take days off, especially on the weekend when I spend time with my son and his family. But I have a routine! My next step is to spend more time working out. But I am pleased with making it in and doing some circuit training and stretching.
My diet has not been excruciatingly healthy lately, but my clothes are fitting better and even my man noticed my belly is flatter!
Speaking of the man, I want to go back to my "Little Old Lady in the Hood" comment.
When I first moved into this neighborhood, my family expressed their concern. It is known for a lot of crime. I am right off a busy street. But I love this little complex. My landlord is the same as my son and his family's. He has been kind to our whole family. When I first moved in, he brought me a lovely, little dining room table with chairs and cushions that his wife said no longer fit the decor in their home.
I was so happy to finally have my own uncluttered space!
But my peace was shatter shortly after my move. It was Easter Sunday. I put on a nice dress and fixed my hair and face. Then I walked out onto the sidewalk, less than a block from my apartment and waited for the bus. I was going to meet my son and his family at their church.
I felt so happy, clean, free and pure. Here I was, a grandma of 5, heading to meet my family on one of the most glorious church days of the year! Easter - Resurrection Sunday! I remember thinking that my soul was feeling resurrected!
Just then, a stocky young man in about his 30's ambled up to the bustop. Err, perhaps I should say staggered up. He was obviously inebriated.
He looked at me and then bus sign. He asked me if the bus was coming soon. Me, always the helper, told him it was due in about 7 minutes. At which point he proceeds to tell me he lost his credit card. I expected him to ask for a handout. I rarely carry cash anymore, and usually tell people I am sorry, but I am also broke.
He didn't ask. But he did tell me details of his evening before. Apparently he was from out of town, only passing through. He needed to see some nude women, he told me. There is a strip club a couple of blocks from my apartment. He told me he got so drunk, he left his credit card with the bartender and slept in his truck.
I told him that when they opened, they most likely still had his card. I am always wanting to help!
At that point, he moved closer to me and said, "Mama where are you goin? You look so fine in that dress!"
At which point my stomach tightened. It was early morning on a Sunday. We were the only people on the street. Very few cars going by.
I told him I was going to church. I also said I would pray for him. I stepped back a bit. He stepped forward. He put his arm around my waist. I stepped back again and asked him not to touch me.
I told him I needed to call my boyfriend. He stepped back then. I called my man and told him what was going on. But he was miles away. He told me to walk to the next bus stop. He asked me if he should dial 9-1-1. I told him that would probably not be necessary.
When I hung up the phone, the drunk dude started his advances again. I wanted to scream to back the "F" off! But he was big and muscular, drunk and I sensed that provoking him might not be in my best interest. I told him firmly I needed to go and pushed his wandering hands away.
I walked briskly to the next stop and called my son. He was alarmed and asked if he should come get me. I looked back and the drunk dude was making his way back to the strip club. And, lo and behold the bus pulled up!
I got on and told my son I would meet him at his house. He and his wife and mother-in-law greeted me at the door, most concerned.
I told them I was fine. (I didn't want to bring negativity into our Sunday).
I just laughed it off and said, "I'm a grandma now. I thought this would have stopped by now!"
At which point my co-grandma said, "It never stops."
I think I'm going to buy some more mace. And perhaps a taser.
There was another incident - a little worse - but I think I will save that for next time. I am weary of thinking about evil people!
Next time I will tell you about my very positive little old lady in the hood moment where a group of men actually came to my rescue!
But now, I am going to finish my smoothie and return to my peaceful center.
Happy Memorial Day! May we never forget those who sacrificed their lives for our safety.
Love,
Zita
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