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Year Four, Day 320: My Father

 Hi Friends!


Today was Day 58 at the gym!  Almost 58 consecutive days, with a few days off for rest and recovery.


I am ready to start working harder!  I am feeling much better than I was a few weeks ago, when I felt that just getting through my daily life was a chore.  


My asthma is still giving me grief, but has improved. I was able to renew my steroid inhaler which I am going to pick up tomorrow.


My eating habits still need tweaking, as usual. But I am proud to announce that I have not eaten any cheese balls since the cheese ball incident!


I have not weighed myself recently, a little nervous about that.  I am working on getting back to intermittent fasting, but have eased my eating window. I now eat between 10 am and 8 pm most days. I am again focusing on whole foods, especially vegetables. I begin each day with a smoothie which includes some kind of frozen fruit, flax seed meal, collagen, and nondairy milk. I feel like I glowing from inside!



My breakfast this morning: Homemade veggie broth, sautéed zucchini, chaffle sticks, beets, tuna and a fruit collagen smoothie! 


But I really wanted to talk about my dad today.  We had a scare recently.  It started last week.  My father fainted after his appointment at the VA Medical Clinic.  My mom had to ask the orderlies to help her get him to the car.  He came to and said he did not want an ambulance.

The next day he could not swallow and began to choke and pass out.  She call 911 and the took him to the hospital. He was released a few days later. They said they were working on balancing his meds.

Then Sunday, Mother's Day I called my mom to wish her Happy Mother's Day. She answered the phone in a low, hushed voice. I immediately knew something was wrong. I asked her where she was and she began to cry. In between sobs she told me she was in the ER with my father. She said they were waiting for the doctor and she would call me later.

My heart began to pound.  We've had quite the time with my dad lately. Actually for the past 6 years or so since his stroke!  It has been such a roller coaster. Just when we all prepare for the end, he pops back up! Not that I don't want him to, but it is quite an emotional ride.

Especially since I have some unresolved issues with my dad, which I will not talk about here. It's between him, me and God.

I am mostly aching for my mother, who has been his caregiver since his stroke, and his wife for nearly 61 years.  I think she has been keeping him alive by her fantastic care and shear will.  

And I wonder if God has kept him here so long because of her undying love for him?  

Well, he is resting happily in the hospital now, in his own room.  Giving all the nurses no end of grief, so at this point he has bounced back yet again!  He is going in right now to have a procedure - a device that monitors his heart.  I've heard this is not an invasive procedure, and can be very helpful.


I am praying, and so are so many of my family, friends, some of you!  My dad has not always been very kind. But he is a person. We all makes mistakes.  Everyone deserves another chance.  


I thought about writing him a letter. We have not really spoken in many, many years. I wanted to clear the air - tell him I forgave him. But then I realized I forgave him a long time ago, to ease the burden from my soul.  I didn't need to bring up the past. So I got him a card and told him many people love him and are praying for him, including me.  I will give it to my mother tomorrow at lunch.

That's all for now. I need to go teach my beloved piano students.

This was a rush job blog post. Please forgive me any typos!


Happy Tuesday!

Love,


Zita 

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