Soul Runnings

I am lying in bed, considering getting vertical. Feeling emotionally raw and vulnerable after some Facebook encounters yesterday. I stewed all day about the arguments flying back and forth between people who wanted stricter gun control after the shooting in Roseburg and pro gun supporters shrieking "You can't take my guns!"I was sickened and saddened by this behavior and frankly wanted to understand where I stood on this issue combined with a burning, compassionate desire to somehow get involved in conversations with other people about moving forward to prevent more tragedies. I was in for a rude awakening. I usually stay out of political debates. But something clicked in my heart. This issue was about the violent, tragic loss of innocent lives in a place where people are studying to build better futures. A place of learning. A place where people should be safe. What "learning" took place on campus when nine innocent people lost their lives? The same old sloga...

I am still feeling low after yesterday's news.  I imagine many, many people are feeling the same. There are some families whose lives will never be the same. The ones who lost loved ones at the hands of a very disturbed, angry young man. Many questions need to be answered. But for now, I am just going to on living my life. Hopefully a little better. Being kinder to others. Being kinder to myself. At the end of my life, I hope to look back with loving pride and joy, not regret or blame. I am still in prayer and though today.  Taking time off of my "me" project to pray for our broken world, especially the victims. Victims of violent crimes. Victims of persecution. Victims of racism, sexism and hatred in all of its ugly forms.  Prayers for the innocent. Someday, may we all unite for the common good.  We are so divided with our opinions, our political beliefs, our religious beliefs and our materialism.  I hope it doesn't take more senseless violence for us...

Today I am not blogging about me. I am still in shock and deep prayer for the people of Roseburg. But I agree with the president. This is happening too often. It has become "routine". Once is too often! While I am dismayed with the politics that erupts everytime there is an incident, we the people of the United States need to work hard to find a solution. Our first priority should be safety of our people. Especially our children. Let's put our veterans to work arming the schools and public places. Obviously we have not been able to prevent people getting guns and opening fire. Whether there motives are revenge, religious, or their own mentally ill reasons. Let's look forward and find solutions, rather than make this another right to bear arms v. gun control issues. (Of course background checks should be stricter. But that is only the beginning). My two cents. Praying for the victims and their families. And for people whose life has become so blea...

Forgiving myself is a good first step! I thought a lot about my disappointment in myself yesterday.  I sat on the bus, looking out at the beautiful autumn sky.  I breathed deeply.  Trying to let go.  I have always been my harshest critic. Aside from my father, that is. Then it dawned on me.  Yesterday (September 29th) was my father's birthday.  We are not close.  It's easier that way. He was unkind to us when we were little.  He seems to have mellowed with age. But we are awkward around each other. Thank God for texting! I pulled out my phone and texted "Happy Birthday Grandpa" to my mother's phone. He does not do phones.  I've noticed it's easier calling him Grandpa. That's who he is now. He was never "Dad". But he is. My dad. He is now 75.  Maybe this is why the last week has been so rough.  I never have really gotten over not having a loving father.  That is probably why I pray so much. My heavenly Father more th...

Me before the big chorizo burrito incident. No after picture.  Believe me, it was not pretty. ;) Verde salad, chicken tamale, salsa and water at: Pepino's Mexican Grill Mexican Restaurant · Richmond 3832 SE Hawthorne Blvd (at SE 38th Ave), Portland , OR 97214   I kind of messed up this morning. I admit it.  The above picture is my meal on Sunday at Pepino's.  Very healthy.  Yes, there is some cheese on that salad, but this is a nice gluten free meal.  And I felt good afterwards. But today, I did not make a very wise food choice. And I am humbly confessing here on my blog to hopefully shame myself into making a better choice next time!   Ok. So this morning I was so proud of myself for getting up early and making it to Mass, that I went out for breakfast at Teco's.  There was some nostalgia involved in this decision. Years ago, when I was going through some dark times, I attended the Novena of Grace at...

Today is a success! I woke up early! I am sticking to my revised schedule! I sat down yesterday and wrote out a plan for every day of the week. Now this sounds a little OCD, which there is really nothing wrong with. But I have always valued freedom and flexibility to let the creative juices flow. But without a plan, I am aimless and wayward. So I am taking Benjamin Franklin's lead and attempting to stick to a schedule, with room for creative flow. Here is today's schedule: 6:00 a.m.:Up/Tea 8:00 a.m. Mass 8:45 a.m. Breakfast/journaling 10:00 Home/clean/pack dinner 10:30 Walk  11:30 Blog 12:00 Practice Piano 12:30 Lunch 1:30 Bus 3:30 to 9:00 Students 9:30 Bus 10:00 Home 10:30 bed I feel quite accomplished!  I have been so inspired by Pope Francis' visit, they I have been compelled to start the day with Catholic Mass.  I go to St. Ignatius which is a Jesuit Catholic church. Pope Francis is a Jesuit. Today the priest talked about "beginner...

A rainy Portland morning in the SE Hawthorne neighborhood. Photo by Zita :)   Yesterday was a low day for me.  Low spirits. Low energy.  I am feeling better today.  Had much food for thought! And much sleeping in! I hung out with my daughter after I got home from rehearsal last night. We watched an episode of Outlander. I bought the entire First Season. I am so hooked!  Not to give the plot away, but the main character is a nurse during World War II. She and her husband are celebrating after the end of the war in Scotland in 1945. She is suddenly (I won't tell you how!) whisked back into time into the 1700's and becomes entangled with a Scottish clan. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3006802/ I watched the whole season last year when I was dog-sitting for a piano student's family. They live near Movie Madness (on SE Belmont). A lovely couple recommended the series when I was there poking around. I'm so excited to get my daughter in on my addiction....