Skip to main content

Day 143: My Blog of Shame


Me before the big chorizo burrito incident.






No after picture.  Believe me, it was not pretty. ;)







Verde salad, chicken tamale, salsa and water at:

Pepino's Mexican Grill

Mexican Restaurant · Richmond
3832 SE Hawthorne Blvd (at SE 38th Ave), Portland, OR 97214
 


I kind of messed up this morning. I admit it.  The above picture is my meal on Sunday at Pepino's.  Very healthy.  Yes, there is some cheese on that salad, but this is a nice gluten free meal.  And I felt good afterwards.

But today, I did not make a very wise food choice. And I am humbly confessing here on my blog to hopefully shame myself into making a better choice next time!  


Ok. So this morning I was so proud of myself for getting up early and making it to Mass, that I went out for breakfast at Teco's.  There was some nostalgia involved in this decision. Years ago, when I was going through some dark times, I attended the Novena of Grace at St. Ignatius.  9 days of Mass and specific prayer.  I would go to Mass, pray, cry and then crawl across the street to Teco's for a breakfast burrito and coffee. I was not eating meat at the time, so I would just have eggs and potatoes in a tortilla. And it was very comforting.

Today, I did not plan my meal. I was very tired. And felt fragile, in need of comfort. So as if in a trance I went to Teco's and ordered a chorizo breakfast burrito and coffee.  It was GINORMOUS! I realized I didn't specify "small".  Halfway through, I stopped and asked myself, "What are you doing?! This tortilla is flour!"  Arggg...I left part of the tortilla on my plate and inhaled the rest of the eggs and chorizo. (It was most delicious!)

Then I took the bus home berating myself and feeling very guilty. I should have taken an "after the big chorizo burrito burrito incident". lol I can only imagine.  You've seen those guilty dog videos?  Yup.  That was how I felt!

First of all, I could have specified a corn tortilla, or asked if I could sub something for the tortilla like beans.

Secondly, I could have ordered a small breakfast burrito.

And last but not least, I did not really need to beat myself up for being human!

In my quest for self improvement, I fear I am sometimes seeking perfection. Which I do not believe is possible in this world. And not all that healthy.

I went home and did some yoga stretches and lay down and gave myself a tennis ball trigger point massage.  It helped.

If you are not familiar with tennis ball massage, it's just two tennis balls duct taped together. Lay down with one on either side of your spine and let your body weight do the work. I lay there and breathed and worked out some tension.

I packed a very healthy dinner for my teaching route today: A banana, an apple, a nori wrap filled with brown rice, green onions and spinach (the rice is mixed with a bit of soy sauce, rice vinegar and hot sauce), a yogurt and one of my power bars.

Lately, I have been having mild moments of panic on the road when I realized my food is running out.

Yesterday I bought a pepperoni stick and a bag of nuts. Both were really salty.  No wonder I have been tired and sluggish.

But no need to be mad at myself. This is a journey of learning.

I really enjoy going to Mass early. Today as I regretted my food choice and was feeling really tired and depressed, I wondered if maybe I didn't need to go to Mass weekday mornings. After some pondering, I decided I do.  Part of this journey is not only to get healthy physically, but to establish a stronger spiritual life. Not to mention emotional stability and intellectual stimulation.

There is just not enough time in the day for this project called me.  I've been worried that I've become to obsessed with myself. But for so many years I put myself last. That's how I got so out of shape.  I want to be a good teacher, mother, friend, citizen of this world, child of God. But I need to get myself in balance if I want to give back at all!

I think I will alter the plan:

Go to Mass. Come STRAIGHT home and make a healthy breakfast.

I am still working on the sleep aspect.  I was "in bed" at 10 p.m. last night, but I don't think I drifted off to sleep until midnight. Admittedly I had the television on. There is a new series my daughter suggested called "Blindspot". Very suspenseful. Fascinating plot.  I enjoyed the characters. But late at night before bed, it got my pulse racing.

But I must ask myself - Do I really need to cut all enjoyment out of my life? All work and no play would make me very dull and no fun  at all to be around!

It's back to that old balance thing again.

Many things to consider here.

But I am putting one foot in front of the other. I got a good piano practice session in and did some calisthenics.

Tomorrow we begin again. Without a giant chorizo breakfast burrito!

Happy Tuesday! :) 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Year Three, Day 134: The Charmed Life of a Commuting Grandma

I just discovered that the Starbucks at Cascades Station stays open until 10:00 p.m. every night.

Just when I was wanting to pinch myself to make sure I wasn't dreaming. Being a commuting grandma really is not that difficult. Actually, my life pretty much rocks right now!

Today has been a very good day. And I had maybe 3 hours of solid sleep last night. The Burrito has decided she likes to sleep cuddled in the arms of her Great Grandma Blanche or Grandma Zita during the day. Or snuggled safe in her infant seat while her mom, grandma and great grandma go out to lunch, do laundry and go shopping.

I warned my daughter that the
Baby Burrito needed some awake time yesterday. Or else we would pay for it in the evening. But getting so much done with a snoozing baby in tow was so freeing. Especially since Baby Burrito's dad is elk hunting all weekend.

We finally roused her for a bath, diaper change and piano lesson early afternoon.

Baby Burrito had a fantastic first piano lesson. At…

Year Two, Day 288: I Found a Place!

This is truly amazing.

God is so good.

All the time!

I posted on Facebook my housing plight yesterday afternoon. And so many of my wonderful friends had helpful suggestions. Several offers for roommates came in.  But most of them so far from my work.

Then, I was heading home after teaching and just felt the need to sit and think.  Of course sitting and thinking go so much better with a cheeseburger on a rice cake, and what do you know...there I was getting off the bus in from of a McDonald's!

So I ordered a quarter pounder with cheese, ditched the bun and plopped it down between two rice cakes (I always carry emergency rice cakes in my bags these days).

I opened up Facebook and found a message from the pastor at my church job. She and her family have a room in their basement that they have been wanting to rent. But they were hesitant to put up an ad. They preferred knowing the person.

And here I am!  This is a blessing in so many ways! I will help them by paying rent and being a p…

Year Three, Day 156: Thank God for COPD and 120 Days of Daily Hooping

10:00 a.m.

Today has been a very good day so far.

I am here at my daughter and son-in-law's church.


I have Baby Gracie duty. It is a pleasure! I had not seen her in four days. Such a difference those days made! I arrived at their trailer before church. I went straight to her crib and said,"Hi Gracie, your grandma is here!"

I scooped her up and noticed her looking intently up at my face. Like she was studying me. I continued talking to her and her face lit up with recognition!

My heart leapt for joy!

I danced with her around the living room, softly singing our theme song ("The Bunny Hop"). When I got to the "hop, hop, hop" part she would grin.




Earlier, I took the Max to Cascades Station. Had a cup of Earl Grey tea and a gluten free breakfast sandwich at Starbucks. It was such a beautiful morning. Clear, crisp and chilly. Sun shining brightly.

I love this time of year!  I did cough quite a bit last night. The Prednisone has taken the edge off, but does …