Skip to main content

Year Four, Day 210: Comparing Faces

This is going to be a short post. I am on my way to teach a student and then to choir practice.  It is a lovely fall day. Clear and sunny, but with a bitter chill.  I have no reason to feel low today. But I do. But mostly low energy.  I am not feeling particularly stressed out about anything.

All this work on myself is paying off. I am keeping my head above water, and keeping my priorities in mind.  I am praying and knitting Happy Socks.  I am practicing piano, hooping and eating healthier (within my "window"). I am reading positive, inspiring books. My newest is Chicken Soup for the Soul: Find Your Inner Strength, by Amy Newmark; forward by Fran Drescher

An odd thing, though with my new hair color and cut. People are telling me I look younger. And they mean it as a compliment. But I realize I had started getting used to the idea that I was "older", as in eligible for a senior discount. A grandma with gray hair that was trying to stay healthy.

Now I feel this temptation to focus more on my appearance, worry about wrinkles, wear makeup.  There is a constant shift in the balance of life.  A shift between between authentic and caring for others, to taking care of ourselves, caring what others think and putting forth an image.

And then hiding behind that image.

I wish I could have talked to my therapist today.  He rescheduled for next week.  But maybe it is best. I believe I needed a bit of solitude.

And perhaps a large chai tea with heavy cream and sugar free cinnamon dolce.

And a book to lose myself in.  Aside from my positive thinking books. I picked up a little mystery paperback just now, called Flourless to Stop Him  by Nancy J. Parra.

Now to disappear for an hour before my student.

Talk to you tomorrow!



No hooping video today - I tried, but my granddaughter woke up when I just started. Watching her and hooping don't go well together! I'll try again tomorrow!

Wait! Something made me go back and look at old posts from this blog. Something I rarely do.  I looked up this day in 2015, my first year of this blog.Comparing my face picture of four years ago to today, instantly cheered me up.  I can see less poof! And I honestly feel like I see more of my authentic self in today's picture.

Time passes and we can just let it go, or we can make something of it!

Happy Tuesday! :)



Popular posts from this blog

Year Four, Day 234: 2020: A Mandala and A Prayer

Today is January 3, 2020.  I began writing this post on New Year's Day, but got sidetracked.

Happy New Year! The year 2020 - it sounds most science fiction!
I am sitting at Arby's recovering from New Years Eve overnight with a 2 year-old  I will be going to the gym soon to work off this here beef n' cheddar.

Honestly, this New Year's Eve was probably the most enjoyable and memorable of my life.  We danced, we played "Nay" (Gracie's word for horse), we ordered McDonald's from Uber Eats.  I felt I needed a Diet Coke to make it through the evening. Grace got her first Happy Meal. She immediate took the bun off of her burger and peeled off the cheese before she ate it.  I ordered bottled water and apple slices for her so she didn't get too much junk in her system.

I was supposed to put her in bed at 9:30 p.m. But we were having so much fun!

And she told me "Zma, I'm not tired!"  I didn't want our special evening to dissolve in tears…

Year Four, Day 232: The Untethered Soul and My Awakening

I am on fire.  I woke up at 5:00 a.m. this morning. I felt sad. I felt irritated. I wanted to roll over and get some more sleep. But my eyes were wide open. Almost like they were being help open with invisible tooth picks. I was home alone - the rest of the family had spent the night with other family members.  Honey Dog would need to go out. And I could do my hooping and cleaning without disturbing the rest of the household.

(When my granddaughter is asleep we all tiptoe around, holding our breath, so cherished is her sleep time!)

So I popped up. I felt so much energy.  I didn't even need caffeine. I felt strong. Not stiff and groggy as usual.  Irritable, yes. But otherwise good!

So I cleaned the entire kitchen, made my bed vacuumed, hooped and even practiced some music on the piano I planned on playing for church later.

I still had time to spare, so I decided to sit down and get a dose of Thomas Merton. He has proven to be a soothing balm for me. Like trees.

I pulled YouTube up …

Year Four, Day 208: Happy Socks, Tales from Lyft and the Missing Music in My Life

I have completed one sock of my first pair of Happy Socks!  That's my name for them anyway.  They are slipper socks, knitted on a round loom.  Meant to be worn at home, when feeling cozy is of the utmost important. Hey, cozy is always high on my list! 

I dubbed them "Happy Socks" because I am making them colorful, and praying for the person who will be wearing them. I feel happy just looking at them!

I also completed the novel, The President Is Missing, by James Patterson and Bill Clinton.

I was thoroughly entertained by this book!  Granted, it was not extremely deep. And the writing, well it was not extremely, literary.  But it was great fun! I felt like I was inside of Bill Clinton's head.

After I read it, I looked at a few reviews online. And I was even more entertained! In fact, I was reading the reviews while riding the bus home the other night. I laughed so hard I snorted. I was getting odd looks from the other passengers! It was this one from "The New Yo…