Hello Friends!
If I ever get discouraged, remind me to read this post!
I found an old picture of me in Facebook Memories this morning. Six years ago today, I was riding the Amtrack train from work in Portland to my home in Salem. How I loved the train! And how much poofier was my face! I believe I weighed about 40 lbs. more than I do now. I was struggling with depression which I attempted to control through recreational eating.
About a year later, I was living in Portland again with my daughter, son-in-law, son and Honey Dog. We lived together in a home in the Kent's neighborhood (dubbed "Felony Flats" by those who know).
I enjoyed that neighbor, despite the high crime. It was close to the Springwater Trail, where I had my epiphany on a cold December morning. I decided to wake up and start living! I began by walking and then jogging the trail nearly every day. I started eating healthier and spending more time reading, playing my piano and praying. Less time worrying and watching TV.
It was during that time that I began this blog, with the goal of posting everyday. I began a course of personal growth, focusing on my physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health.
I am coming up on my 5 year blogaversary, and although I do not always post daily, i am still committed to pet a oval growth.
Here is a picture of my face 6 years ago. I would have been 52 years old:
And here is my face today, at age 58:
How far I have come - in so many ways!
Not only have I shed pounds, I've conquered an eating disorder that has plagued me since early adulthood. I ave stronger family ties and several new additions: Two grandchildren, two great nieces, a son-in-law, a daughter-in-law, and their families.
And to put icing on the cake (yes, I still use food analogies), I am dating again!
The world around me has gone crazy, but as for me, I feel pretty dang good about myself!
One challenge I have yet to conquer is my insomnia. So that has been my focus this last week.
And I have come up with a controversial solution! I am calling it the vodka experiment!
It has been close to 10 years since I have had anything close to a serious relationship. And more than that since I consumed much alcohol to mention. As I matured and began really looking at who I am and what I seek, I had a lot of regrets about my past. Part of which was a lot of "partying". I was a social drinker. Especially when I went out to the clubs. They were called "discos" when I began partying in my late teens.
But I finally became weary of waking up with a hangover. And as I started really looking at my diet, I decided I didn't need the calories.
The past 8 - 10 years have been all about denial, deprivation and coming to terms with the crushing guilt and shame from my younger days.
Perhaps the deprivation was a form of penance.
But I have always been told that moderation is the key in life.
It occurred to me that Vodka might well turn out to be a solution for my sleep disorder and bringing a wee bit of joy back into my life.
"Wee" being the important factor here. I googled the nutritional content in Vodka. I found there 100 calories in 1 ounce of Absolut Citron, which is my preference. Actually, my drink of choice used to always be a Salty Dog made with Vodka, but for this experiment I am doing straight shots.
I drink 1/2 ounce of Absolut Citron about 8 p.m. every night. I limit myself to 1/2 ounce, because in my research about intermittent fasting, if you have a drink with 50 calories or fewer, you are still in fasting mode!
Tonight will be my 4th night. I am sleeping so much better and I feel rather tough, Clint Eastwood-like even tilting my head back to a straight shot of Vodka! It also gives me something to look forward to and I am finally understanding the word "night cap"!
"Nostrovia!"
Nostrovia means "let's get drunk!" in Russian. But I am not in it to get drunk. I am in it to sleep and lose weight and find balance between joy and self discipline.
Perhaps I should have said "na vashe zdorov'ye!",
Nope. Don't even know how to begin to say that. It means "to your health".
I'll stick with nostrovia!
On that note, I am heading out in this heat wave to the gym.
Nostrovia people!
Love,
Zita
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