Soul Runnings

I am struggling today. Well, perhaps I should rephrase that: I am struggling at the moment.  Each day seems to have extreme highs, lots of middles and some lows. In circle time at the music center, I draw three faces on the chalkboard. ☺️ = Yay!  😐  =   Meh! 😠    = Bleh! Then I ask who had a "Yay!" week, a "Meh!" week and a "Bleh!" week.  The kids love it and it's been a great ice breaker.  Some kids just don't always have fun and exciting things to share about their weeks. If they say they had a "Bleh!" week, I'll ask them if they want to share. If they don't, I don't push them. Today I wish I had a Teacher Zita to talk to me about my week.  My mostly "Bleh!" week! I am finding myself increasingly alone in my challenges.  Especially this time of year. I know there are other people who aren't out there Ho Ho Hoing and Decking them Halls, but I feel alone in my misery. Except I...

I am writing a daily blog about my son's prison experience, or as my mom so eloquently phrases it, "His time at the resort". Or as my son's mother-in-law puts it, "Furthering his education!" This experience is furthering the education of our whole family.  What doesn't kill makes you stronger, right? I am feeling stronger every day. But I have my moments. Here is an excerpt from today's post in "13 Months": (I will probably not publish it.  It is for my son when he has done his time.  Perhaps we will write a book someday. Right now, he needs to survive and thrive!) Papers, Bitte! "I did not hear from my son until about 2:30 this afternoon. I am trying to discipline myself to be mindful about my day, and focus on what is at hand rather than let my imagination go wild with what my son is going through. We spoke briefly as I got off the bus, on my way to the library to blog before I go teach piano lessons. It is such ...

Again, I must begin by apologizing for my absence. So much has changed. My son is officially incarcerated. My heart is officially racing.  I was strong and positive for him when he went in for his sentencing hearing and when they led him away in cuffs. I put money on his phone account. I told him I loved him, am proud of him and he will be O.K. He will be. I think I will be. One day at a time. I have started a new blog. It is called "13 Months". I am not sure if I will make it public. But it helps for me to keep my thoughts straight. When my son is released, I will print it out and share it with him. If he is interested. I know from this blog, that it helps my mental and emotional health to get my thoughts out of my head and onto the screen. Holding it in makes me feel like I will explode. I have talked to a few women recently, who have been through the incarcerated son journey.  They have been very supportive. I like hearing their stories. Th...

Hello My Friends! Today is Saturday, 11/30/19. Tomorrow is December 1st. The first day in Advent. Advent has always been my favorite time of the year. Even before I knew the meaning of Advent! And even when I learned about Advent, it was in the context of the Liturgical year of the Christian church.  My understanding of Advent was centered around the concept of waiting.  The people were waiting in darkness to be saved by Christ, the light of the world. "The people who walked in darkness Have seen a great light; Those who dwelt in the land of the shadow of death, Upon them a light has shined."( Isaiah 9:2; NKJV ) As I come to understand myself more and more, it makes sense that I connected with Advent in this sense. Because I have always craved the darkness. Not dark, in terms of evil, or absence of light. But perhaps since I have always felt more energized at night, or on cloudy, rainy days and drained by hot, sunny days, I feel safer at night. I have always be...

First of all, let me apologize for my extended absence. But I have a very good reason! A baby boy was born into our family on Monday, November 4, 2019! Son of my son. My grandson!  Andrew Jose. He is so beautiful!  There is nothing like a newborn baby to heal and restore! Andrew Jose He was born 24 days early, but you wouldn't know it to look at him! He was a healthy 6 lbs, 6 oz and was 19 1/4 inches long! Being born early and healthy are a blessing in itself. But to put the icing on the cake, this gives my son 24 more days to enjoy his presence until he goes away. My son's fiance's mother calls it "furthering one's education". And that it shall. I have had a lot on my plate, my heart and mind lately. I have missed sharing my thoughts with you all, but I've had much to ponder. I was pondering, praying and literally feeling sorry for myself last week when I almost died.  Twice. I was waiting for the walk sign at the crosswalk. I was ve...

I am feeling so much better today than yesterday. Our grandmas had it right when they told us to rest and drink plenty of fluids when we felt under the weather. I did just that. And today I feel a tad bit higher than the weather. And that is saying a lot! It is another gorgeous fall day. It is quite chilly, but no wind. The skies are clear and blue. The trees that have hung on to their leaves are displaying them in brilliant color of orange, yellow and red. I love bright colors. That is probably why I am having so much fun knitting "healing socks". I gave my daughter a pair yesterday. Bright yellow, black and white in bulky yarn. She cocked one eyebrow as she looked at them. But when she put them on she smiled. "They are very soothing", she said. "It's almost like they are massaging my feet!" I agree. There is something almost magical about my healing socks. Hence the name. I look forward every day to coming home and putting on my bright, bul...

I did not hoop today. I am having a low day.  I am o.k.  Just tired and achy.  I should have hooped. I watched my granddaughter in the morning as usual and then instead of heading to the gym, I took a nap.  I find naps to be the most therapeutic thing I can do for myself. Sometimes I just need time off from life. When I was younger, much younger, I would take what my mother called a "mental health day". I'll have to ask her about that sometime.  Because, I think this has been invaluable to me. And when I say time off from life, I now mean no internet.  Very little interaction with others. Just quite, me time.  A lot of sleep, tea, maybe a book or a movie. I have a whole bag of DVD's I just rented from the library. I plan on heading home and crawling under the covers again. My therapist told me I need to have more fun.  I looked at him blankly. He laughed. But I think he is right! At this point, I cannot go any deeper. I need a cup of...