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Year Four, Day 249: Rain is Coming

 I filled the water resevoir in my C-pap machine last night. I haven't been using it much recently. But since my basement room smelled like a smoky bar, I thought it might help my lungs. It did. I slept like a log.


But my throat and eyes burned when I woke up. I checked the air quality index.  It was in the "hazardous: zone.  



My daughter-in-law suggested the app "Air Now".  It's awesome. I can check air quality anywhere in the US.  Portland is at the top of the list of poor air quality.

We are being told to stay home, with the windows closed, not to barbecue, not to vacuum, avoid driving, turn on fans. We made a couple of box fan filters. And my son-in-law duct taped the front door, back door and garage door.



Even with all of that, I ended up with a smoke headache.  Yes, I found out that is a thing: 

https://www.oregonlive.com/health/2020/09/the-headache-isnt-all-in-your-head-oregonians-report-symptoms-from-wildfire-smoke-exposure.html

Since I only had a few afternoon students, and my daughter was working from home again, I decided to head to the mall library to pick up Season 1, 2, and 3 of Game of Thrones that miraculously were ready to pick up this very day! My son-in-law volunteered to take me. But I told him I would take Lyft home. I figured the air in the mall would be cleaner.  I planned on having lunch and reading.


Best decision in my life! The mall was quiet, and the air outside, while still smoky, was easier to breathe than inside our home. The temperature had dropped to the mid 60's, so it felt almost refreshing.


Still, I double masked.

My son-in-law and I talked on the drive about the state of our world. We talked about our friends who have evacuated, those who have lost their homes and family that were ready to leave on a moment's notice.  Just last week, we only had to worry about keeping a mask on us when we went out in public.

Although we are all accustomed to wearing masks now, they don't protect against smoke inhalation.

But once again, we are told to "stay home and stay safe". 

When the forest fires are contained, I am determined to not stay home.  I am feeling so confined and restless.  It does not help that the man I am dating is many miles away.  Ironically, he is in a much safer place than I am. 

When I landed in Portland after my recent Vegas trip, just 6 days ago, I breathed a sigh of relief. The air was cool and clean. And in true Portland style, the flight attendant, a burly young man with long hair, enthusiastically grabbed the microphone on landing.


"Welcome to Portland",  he exclaimed with a big smile. "Aren't we a bunch of eager puppies? You all jumped right up!:


The whole cabin burst out laughing. This man's charm was contagious.  And it warmed my heart. This was the Portland I knew. Not the violent protestors and looters.  Not the high crime.  And not this smoke-filled air.  The Portland I loved was a big little city, where people were friendly and helpful.

The world is changing. My son-in-law sees it as prophetic.  The end is near, he told me. And the forces of evil are stronger than ever.  

Fire instills fear in our hearts more than a virus.  And to even consider that fire was started on purpose, is nauseating.

When the fires are contained, I am determined to keep living more mindfully and let love prevail.  I will not remain in my home unless necessary. If the world is indeed coming to an end, I intend to live my life to the last moment, and see and experience as much as possible!

Stay safe my friends.  The rain is coming soon!


Love,


Zita 



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