"Friends": The Breezy Episode
One of my favorite episodes of the television series "Friends" was when Monica left a "breezy" telephone message for the man she was dating. However, on her message she said she was being breezy. She had the code for his answering machine (no voicemail back then!). When she played the message for her friends, they said, "You cannot say you are being breezy. It negates the breeziness!"
Well, I left a breezy text for "I" on Tuesday. I was feeling light and breezy. I had a nice day of teaching and was on my way to the choir concert I was accompanying. I felt good!
I had not heard from him since I last suggested my hidden bar for our next meeting. And I had said drink would be on me. That was on December 1st.
About two weeks ago.
I had put him on the back burner. But he did not KNOW he was on the back burner. Which is ok.
Really, I am getting better at this. At this stage of the dating game, I think it is good for one to be light and breezy. Not plan too far ahead. Not expect your date to be anymore or less. Not be waiting for Prince Charming to come along, swoop you up on his white horse and carry you away to his castle.
Actually, of all the men I have met on this journey "I" is the one I think would look the finest on a white horse, complete with Prince Charming attire. And I would happily grab his hand and let him pull me up onto his horse and ride off into the sunset...
Nope! Not going there!
Back to light and breezy.
I sent this picture via text. At 4:56 p.m.
At precisely 5:02 p.m., "I" texted me back! He was light and breezy, friendly and sounded sincerely happy to hear from me.
He said something to the effect that he was happy to hear from me and weather permitting we should get together for a beer soon!
I waited three minutes. (Longest three minutes in my life!)
Then I said something to the effect that I have been crazy busy with holiday recitals. And that I was on my way to one that evening. And, yes indeed we should have a drink perhaps next week when recital season is over! Weather permitting of course.
Three minutes elapsed. Then "I" told me he was looking forward to seeing me.
I waited three minutes and told him I was looking forward to seeing him.
I can do light and breezy! I can!
However...
I was on cloud 9 after the performance. I was truly in the moment. And my interlude that I composed and improvised on live stage was well received by the choir and the audience.
I was glowing as I went to catch the bus home. How I wished I had someone to celebrate with!
I have a few nice male friends on Plenty of Fish, the dating app. "R" would be a good one to talk to. He is the one I met at Starbucks. He is really into music. However, I had not felt much of a spark. I wanted spark!
So, without giving myself time to think, I texted "I" and told him I had a wonderful performance experience. I should have stopped there. Before he had a chance to respond, I said, "Wish tonight was beer night...I feel like a drink with "I"!
25 minutes elapsed...
After which I received the following text:
"Nicely done...:)
We will get together soon. :)"
I waited 20 minutes. and said, "Absolutely! Stay warm!"
Sigh. So much for light and breezy.
I feel I pushed a little too much by putting him in the role of cheerleader.
Of course, I am reading too much into this.
It is a good experience for me to learn to honor boundaries in this light and breezy process of dating.
There are so many variables and layers. But just like music performance, getting to know someone, and possibly nurturing a spark demands being fully present in the moment. And authentic. And not manipulative. Just being in the moment, enjoying each others company, yet keeping our romantic alert.
It is not easy, but I think the payoff will be:
1. Not rushing into a relationship.
2. No attempting to turn a date into our image of Prince Charming.
3. Keeping my integrity intact.
4. Treating my dates with kindness and respect. As I would like to be treated.
5. Not leading someone on to expect more than I am willing to give.
And as I ponder my potential love life, I realize I have so much love in my life already. Perhaps not true love, soulmate love. But family and friends. And hints of more.
I am going back to my Theory of 9.
I am putting "I" on the list. But with the understanding, that he may be in a castle in my mind. Lovely to consider, but not attainable in this lifetime.
I am spending time today nurturing my cough and snuffly nose. I made a non alcoholic hot toddy. And I have chicken and brussels sprouts baking in the oven.
I wish I could smell through my nose. I imagine the kitchen smells divine!
On another note, I found an interesting article about Tim Tebow and Ephesians 2: 8 through 10. Apparently he had written this in his eye black! (I had to Google "eye black")
I wrote Ephesians 2: 8-10 in my notebook yesterday.
"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith — and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God — not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."
I know I need to "let go and let God". I know I need to praise Him more instead of always, shrieking "Help!" when the storm rolls in. And I need to thank Him. What I need to ponder and wrap my mind around is that He has a purpose for me. And He had this for me before I was even born.
Perhaps I should pray for guidance in finding my soulmate?
Here is the article about Tim Tebow and his eye black:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/01/01/ephesians-2-8-10-tim-tebo_n_409193.html
Happy Saturday!
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