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Year Four, Day 178: Like a Ravenous Animal

I almost broke my fast yesterday. I was so hungry after I finished my teaching day. I realized I had a deep rooted pattern of celebrating most everything in life at a table with food.

When I am tired, after a long day of teaching, I still have that desire to reward myself.

I am working with mind sets going all the way back to my early days.

But I prevailed. I told myself I would regret it. I told myself that it is possible to live a different kind of life. One that is not centered around food. 

I stopped at the store downtown Portland and bought a bottle of Perrier and a pack of sugar free gum.  Ice Breakers Ice Cubes "Cool Orange".  I am  not a purist. I am practicing what they call "dirty fasting".  I have an occasional Diet Coke, sugar free iced tea or an iced tea or coffee with a bit of heavy cream and sugar free syrup.

It is what is keeping me sane.  As I continue to lose weight and hopefully gain more self control, I will gravitate over to clean fasting.

The water and gum did the trick. Especially the gum.  I found myself wondering why no one has come up with fried chicken, buttered popcorn or dill pickle flavored gum?

Perhaps I should email Ice Breakers?

Or would that be taking a step backward in my food addiction.

I do know that having the flavor of a juicy orange in my mouth during my 20 hours fast helped me stay strong.

I managed to do some hooping this morning.

The next level is still more exercise.  I am still looking for that extra hour a day and extra boost of energy to do all the things on my list!

For now, I am feeling stable and strong.  I plan on continuing the intermittent fasting for as long as needed. I've thought about switching to one meal a day, perhaps later in the day because that is when hunger strikes with a vengeance. But there is no easy answer. That would mean suffering all day, looking forward to that one meal, like a ravenous animal.

I would prefer to settle into this style of living in such a way that I can be more present in my life.

I'm still working on that.

But I need to keep this short today. I am planning my music for my first day at my new church Sunday.

Good bye for now! Talk to you tomorrow.

Love,

Zita


My Qi Gong/Hooping Video of the day. Day 121 today! 

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