Soul Runnings

Hi Friends! Again, I apologize for my long absence.  No excuses. No shame. Just busy trying to find balance in this life. I've been quite successful about regular gym workouts. My goal is daily workouts. Mostly in the gym.  I am currently on Day 127!   I must say, if I skip a day of exercise, I feel miserable.   However, for all of my effort, I had not lost any weight!  Granted, I have become a tad more shapely.  Here are some pictures along my journey. The first one  was taken 02/07/2022 with my son. It was our 8th day of working out together. The second one was taken 09/07/2022.   The third was taken on 09/23/2022 after about a week of preparing most of my meals at home. And being pretty strict about no dairy, focusing on grains, veggies, fruits, legumes and Indian spices. At last, the scale moved a few pounds downward.   I am attempting at long last to follow the Ayurvedic principles of dieting.  It's not a fad. It...

 Hi Friends! I'm back. In a much timelier manner than usual!  I have a few more short stories featuring the "Zma in the Hood" today.  But first, the return of the "D" word.  Depression has been a companion of mine my whole life. He comes and goes. I've learned to accept it. This morning I woke up feeling blue, struggling with depression and anxiety. I know the feeling well:  It starts in my head. A low level throbbing around my temples. Then it radiates to my eyes. I feel tears "behind my eyes". Then the sensation travels to my gut. I feel queasy and uneasy. My pulse usually quickens. I am short of breath. But behind it all, is that empty, achy cavernous feeling around my heart. How's that for a description of depression? Well, that is how it feels to me at least.  This morning while I was airing out the apartment, trying to cool it off enough for an afternoon of teaching, I could feel it coming on strong. It actually started last night. A bit ...

 Hello Friends! Yet again I must apologize for my absence. There are times when I just cannot form meaningful words. I just keep putting one foot in front of the other.  In my experience, eventually the fog clears. And just now, it has started to lift.  So here I am!  Where do I begin?  Perhaps, as I usually do. Just start typing as see what comes up! I am sitting outside my humble little abode right at this very moment. It is 10:11 p.m. It is currently 84 degrees fahrenheit.  We are in the midst of a heat weave.  The high was 97 today.  The low is only expected to reach 66 degrees. Tomorrow and Friday the forecast is 101 degrees.  But come Monday, the temps will descent into normal Portland readings.  Hopefully we'll even get a smidgeon of rain! I'm not really complaining though.  I am a bit of a rebel, if you haven't noticed.  I rarely complain about the rain.  I get a bit snooty or in German: "Ich bin  hochnäsig", ...

 Hello Again Friends! What a beautiful morning, on this last day of May, 2022! It happens to also be my man's birthday!  I feel positive energy in the air.  Perhaps it is the sun's warm rays warming my little herb garden on my front patio.  I was overjoyed this morning as I opened the curtains and the windows to let in some fresh air. I peered out at my neighbor's cheerful red rose, and I spotted new sprouts in my herb garden!  I potted them a few weeks ago and do a happy dance every time I see a little sprout poke his nose out. At this point, my thyme, dill and cilantro has sprouted. I was worried with all the rain that they might not come up. There is not enough sun on my windowsill, so I put them outside.  I am thrilled to see they have survived, even a few of them! I started my morning with a strawberry/mango/pineapple/coconut milk with flax seed and collagen smoothie. Then I did my morning Qi Gong and a bit of hooping.  I have to admit I slept in,...

 Hello Friends! I am finally sitting down to post on my blog after a bit of an absence. I am having a real, live, actual day off today! Today is Memorial Day. I purposefully did not plan anything for today.  I was feeling overwhelmed with my schedule and expectations that I put upon myself.  I am at the tail end of recital season - which I LOVE - but I put my whole self into. This year I held 4 in person piano student recitals, and one virtual recital. They were all glorious!  But after performance I have a bit of the blues.  Which is probably mostly related to exhaustion, but partially coming back down to earth.   Right now, I just need to slow down and breathe, be in the present and reconnect with my peaceful center.  I am sitting at my little table in front of the window. I have the curtains and the windows open. Aside from the fact that this is known as "not the best neighborhood", I find it very peaceful to have the breeze flowing.  The ...

 Hi Friends! Today was Day 58 at the gym!  Almost 58 consecutive days, with a few days off for rest and recovery. I am ready to start working harder!  I am feeling much better than I was a few weeks ago, when I felt that just getting through my daily life was a chore.   My asthma is still giving me grief, but has improved. I was able to renew my steroid inhaler which I am going to pick up tomorrow. My eating habits still need tweaking, as usual. But I am proud to announce that I have not eaten any cheese balls since the cheese ball incident! I have not weighed myself recently, a little nervous about that.  I am working on getting back to intermittent fasting, but have eased my eating window. I now eat between 10 am and 8 pm most days. I am again focusing on whole foods, especially vegetables. I begin each day with a smoothie which includes some kind of frozen fruit, flax seed meal, collagen, and nondairy milk. I feel like I glowing from inside! My breakfast...

 Dear Friends: It's been awhile! But I am back. Wiping away tears, but I am here.  I had a hard time leaving my living room today. Amber Heard finally took the stand to give her testimony.  It moved me. Even though I have been "Team Johnny" from the beginning of their trial.  I am a little bit embarrassed to admit how fascinated I am with this whole case. And how much I have learned about myself, especially relating to interpersonal relationships, mostly of the romantic kind. But there it is. I'm hooked.  I have adored Johnny Depp, or perhaps I should say I am a big fan of his public persona.  I recognize him as a very talented actor, intelligent, and a bit of a bad boy.   His "performance" in court has seemed to reflect who I believe he is. I did not want to believe he was abusive.  Yet he was obviously entrenched in substance abuse.  I shuddered a bit when his team painted the picture of Amber, his ex-wife as a woman with histrionic, b...

 Hi Friends!  It's a gray, cold, wet day here on Portland, Oregon. But as for me - I feel fabulous! I had lunch with my mother and my man, got in a quick workout (today is Day 48 at the gym!), and stopped at the library. I love getting things done!  I am now chillaxing at Starbucks before I begin teaching. I am feeling rather content and balanced. I love my new place- a space of my own - especially my own fenced in private backyard, where I have been doing a morning hoop workout before I start my day. I love the fact that the door to my backyard is in the bathroom.  I do love funky! I am excited to find a Planet Fitness in my neighborhood. Not only do I enjoy the hydro massage tables, but I just discovered their express workout room. It is essentially circuit training. There is a light signal on the wall. When it is green you start at the first station. There is usually enough time for 15 reps before the red light comes on. At that point, you wipe down your machine, ...

 Hi Friends! I am gazing out the window as I type this. Big, plump, white snow flakes are descending from a slate grey sky. It has been snowing since very early this morning. All of the school districts have closed due to the snow and power outages. I am waiting to hear from the music center. Usually when Portland Public Schools close for inclement weather, they are closed as well. I only have on in-person class on Mondays, the rest of my students have private, virtual lessons. I will most likely be teaching from home today.   It is actually pretty exciting to have snow in April. The week before Easter no less!  I looked at the forecast for Easter Sunday, and they are predicting sunny with a high of 58 degrees!  Today's high is only going to reach 44 degrees.  Low of 33 degrees.  In April! I am going to head out soon to the gym. The snow is getting wetter - soon it will turn into rain. But the ground is still white.  I am going to wear double laye...

 Hi Friends! Just a quick check in. Yesterday was such a good day!  The chaffles, the gym, my students, my grandkids, and.... wait for it.... the man! Yes. We had a very nice, positive get together. I told him that when times are good between us, they are GLORIOUS!  I need to focus on all the good.   The title of this blog is deceptive. Love was there all along, we need to remember not to cover it up with negativity. :)  Pretty much the story of my life.  In fact, I am working on cleansing my mind beginning today. Everytime a negative thought enters, I whisk it away and replace it with a positive memory, or I ponder all the things that I am grateful for in life. I have a big list: God My 5 grandchildren My kids and their spouses My family My students Music The gym, and movement Beautiful weather in Portland (Like yesterday! Today, it's cooler and overcast, but that's ok.) My friends, near and far. Chaffles Tea The Community Music Center My new apartmen...

 Hi Friends! Sorry for the dramatic title. But my life does seem to mirror my bipolarness at times.   First the happy news: I had to do it! I ordered another Dash mini waffle maker, aka "The Chaffle Maker"! It arrived this morning. So I whipped up some cheese, spinach, green onion, cliantro chaffles for my daughter-in-law and I. And some ham, cheese and spinach chaffles for my grandson. I am not sure if he liked them or not, because he was napping when I left. My daughter-in-law loved them! Her first chaffle experience was very positive! I like them even better than before. Especially since the cheesy egg pancakes just didn't compare. The chaffle has these amazing, yummy crunchy ridges you just cannot duplicate! It is such a beautiful day today in Portland - sunny and 74 degrees. I hear rumors of highs in the upper 70's. What?! I nearly froze to death in bitter cold and wind waiting for the bus two days ago.  But that is Portland. Bipolar. Much like me! I actually ha...

Hi Friends! So, I made a thing! We are calling them cheesy egg pancakes. It started with me wanting to make chaffles for my breakfast while living temporarily with my son and his family. I am having pretty good success with my ADF fasting eating program. I "fast" on Mondays, Wednesday and Fridays, allowing myself up to 500 calories. The other days I eat normally. I've managed to lose (and keep off!) 6 pounds.  I need to work on not binging on my eating days.   I am still hitting the gym nearly every day! Today will be day 39! When I moved out of my daughter's place recently, I misplaced my chaffle maker. ("Dash mini waffle maker"). I have a suspicion my daughter might have "accidentally" thrown it out. However, I did find my Dash mini griddle.  So I improvised and made cheesy egg pancakes! So far, I have made them with eggs, cheese, almond flour, and spinach; eggs, cheese, almond flour, green onion, spinach and cilantro; eggs, cheese, almond flour,...

Hello Friends! :)  I am sitting at the kitchen table at my son's house. My grandson is sitting with me. He is watching a "truck show" on my Kindle while I do computer work.  As I look outside, I see patches of blue and white fluffy clouds through one window pane. Through the other?  Dark foreboding clouds! It must be because of the ducks.  Yes, ducks. Just when I thought I had my ducks in a row, some of them are getting out of line! I was so proud of myself and greatly relieved when I redid my weekend teaching schedule yesterday. I have so many private students, that I was teaching Saturday and Sunday afternoons online at my son's house.  That's where the internet is. But I didn't feel so good about sitting in a corner of their home, focusing on my students when my precious grandbabies were in the other room. My grandson is very curious about the piano. When I am not teaching, he raises his adorable chubby arms to me and says "Pano!". At which point ...

 Hello Friends! Happy Wednesday!  Spring term began this Monday.  I was so happy to be back in my piano lab. My students came bounding in, some of them without masks.  I was just so relieved to be maskless! I smile a lot when I teach. But portraying a smile with my eyes just didn't cut it.   My students all were excited about coming back into class. I told them I missed my piano so much, that I decided to name my piano and encouraged them to do the same! It was great fun. I am determined to hit the gym everyday before teaching, to keep my energy up and my mood positive.  I have more students now than ever, and still more parents are inquiring about lessons for their kids.   What is this piano lesson boom? I am not going to question it much. Just enjoy it!   In addition to my daily gym workouts, I have stayed pretty close to 500 calories or less on my fasting days (Monday, Wednesday and Friday). As of today I have lost 6 pounds!...