Year Two, Day 139: Warning! Swearing in Spanish!

Warning: Cover your eyes. I am going to swear. In Spanish.

Pinche Viejo!

My God, that felt so good!

Those were the last words I texted R last night. I tried to be mature. I told him it had been fun. And I thanked him for making me feel beautiful.He said something profound like he wishes me nothing but the best. Grrr.

So I left him with the only swear words I know. You will have to look them up. I won't say it in English.

I am imagining these will be my last words to R ever.

I feel strangely relieved.

Oh, it hurts. My feelings that is. I did shed a few tears.

It never gets any easier.

But I am resolved to walk away. Without making it worse. I still am not really sure what happened. But my gut tells me I was being manipulated. And I think I should listen to my gut.

Funny thing is, when I first met R, I thought he looked like a cross between Al Pacino and Eric Estrada.

But today after we talked, it dawned on me. I looked at his picture again on my cell phone. Then I googled "The Count".

From Sesame Street.

Bingo! Dead ringer!

And they both roll their r' s!

Good thing I got out before he sucked the life out of me.

I am going to take some time to regroup before I consider contestant number two. It is really important to me that I treat people at least as well as I expect to be treated. And at the moment I am not inclined to be kind to anyone of the male persuasion.

I am going to a super hero and ride my bike to churches church today. Sunday is the day I usually ride R' s bus to and from church. Also the day we had lunch together at the end if his line. Also the day I brought him homemade peanut butter cookies.

Talk about sucker!!

Grrrrrrr!!!!!!!!

Sigh. I really am going to miss R. :)

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