I ended my last blog saying I was off to get the ingredients to make a millet tabouli. But alas, the grocery store I shop at in Vancouver did not have millet.
But they had quinoa.
I was in the checkout aisle, feeling a little lonely, with my 3 bunches of parsley, fresh mint, green onions, lemons, roma tomatoes and quinoa.
The checker must have sensed my condition. She smiled at me and started chatting about how tired she was. I told her I hoped her shift ended soon. She did look tired. But her ttired eyes sparkled a bit when she told me she only had 90 minutes more.
Just then she scrunched up her face.
"I can't find the code for this..." she said holding up a bunch of parsley.
"It's parsley", I said.
"Hmm. That's what I thought. But it's ringing up as cilantro", she said, sounding perplexed.
I leaned over the counter. "Oh no!", I said with more alarm then necessary. "I'm making tabouli. Cilantro would not do!"
"Ta..what?" she asked, sounded even more befuddled.
"Tabouli", I said proudly. I love talking about tabouli. "It's a Lebanese salad of minced parsley, mint, green onions, bulgar, olive oil, tomatoes and lemon juice. But I don't eat wheat, so I've substituted quinoa."
She looked skeptical.
"I hate cilantro", she confided in me with a smirk.
"I don't like it in tabouli!" I said. But after double checking, it was inde
ed parsley. Not cilantro.
She finally found the code. I wished her a nice evening and told her I hope it sped by so she could get some rest. She smiled and waved.
I believe I've made one of my first friends in Vancouver since I moved back here almost a year ago!
I need to get out more. I've been thinking a lot about friendships, relationships and community. Especially since I seem to be guided that direction in my reading and the shows I watch.
Anthony Bourdain had a common thread in his programs about community. He especially loved the Philipines, where family is first on people's priority. But in other locations, Chicago, Greece, Senegal, it continually came up. In fact, food was more often secondary to community.
I wonder if he had much in terms of community. He traveled a lot. He certainly seemed to drink a lot. But they were people that he filmed for his program. Did he have a community of friends? Did he feel so disconnected that the only solution was to end his life?
I am not wanting to end my life. But I would like to have a more fulfilling life. I feel safe in my cacoon of introversion. It is like a shield I wear. It gives me an excuse to avoid dinner parties, bars, concerts, heck most social events. Except for if I am performing.
But I just told one of my students yesterday that easy is boring. She said she didn't want to play anything on the piano that was too hard. I played middle c repeatedly for her.
"Isn't that boring?" I asked.
"No", she said, wrinkling her nose at me. She's in middle school. It's hard to motivate this age.
But I kept trying. I told her that learning is often painful.
"It shouldn't be!", she said. "It should be fun!"
"Nope", said I smugly. "In order to learn, we have to stretch ourselves, and it might hurt our brain a little, but that means we are truly learning. I call it brain pain. I like to play challenging music. Don't be afraid of the brain pain"!
Hmmm...
Uh-oh! Just got the "ten minute warning" here at the library. I'll have to finish my thoughts when I get home...
O.K. I'm home, with a happy tummy full of tabouli, homemade meat sauce over gluten free macaroni and a Coors Light.
I have been craving beer lately. Could it be that all the books I've been reading and Anthony Bourdain's programs feature copious amounts of drinking? Socially of course.
I am such an odd bird. I prefer a Coors Light alone.
Speaking of social lives (of which I am blissfully lacking, but considering changing), I stumbled across another author I intend to follow. David Brooks. I just put his newest book The Second Mountain on hold at the library. It fits into my current quest. Here is a synopsis form goodreads.com:
Love,
But they had quinoa.
I was in the checkout aisle, feeling a little lonely, with my 3 bunches of parsley, fresh mint, green onions, lemons, roma tomatoes and quinoa.
The checker must have sensed my condition. She smiled at me and started chatting about how tired she was. I told her I hoped her shift ended soon. She did look tired. But her ttired eyes sparkled a bit when she told me she only had 90 minutes more.
Just then she scrunched up her face.
"I can't find the code for this..." she said holding up a bunch of parsley.
"It's parsley", I said.
"Hmm. That's what I thought. But it's ringing up as cilantro", she said, sounding perplexed.
I leaned over the counter. "Oh no!", I said with more alarm then necessary. "I'm making tabouli. Cilantro would not do!"
"Ta..what?" she asked, sounded even more befuddled.
"Tabouli", I said proudly. I love talking about tabouli. "It's a Lebanese salad of minced parsley, mint, green onions, bulgar, olive oil, tomatoes and lemon juice. But I don't eat wheat, so I've substituted quinoa."
She looked skeptical.
"I hate cilantro", she confided in me with a smirk.
"I don't like it in tabouli!" I said. But after double checking, it was inde
ed parsley. Not cilantro.
She finally found the code. I wished her a nice evening and told her I hope it sped by so she could get some rest. She smiled and waved.
I believe I've made one of my first friends in Vancouver since I moved back here almost a year ago!
I need to get out more. I've been thinking a lot about friendships, relationships and community. Especially since I seem to be guided that direction in my reading and the shows I watch.
Anthony Bourdain had a common thread in his programs about community. He especially loved the Philipines, where family is first on people's priority. But in other locations, Chicago, Greece, Senegal, it continually came up. In fact, food was more often secondary to community.
I wonder if he had much in terms of community. He traveled a lot. He certainly seemed to drink a lot. But they were people that he filmed for his program. Did he have a community of friends? Did he feel so disconnected that the only solution was to end his life?
I am not wanting to end my life. But I would like to have a more fulfilling life. I feel safe in my cacoon of introversion. It is like a shield I wear. It gives me an excuse to avoid dinner parties, bars, concerts, heck most social events. Except for if I am performing.
But I just told one of my students yesterday that easy is boring. She said she didn't want to play anything on the piano that was too hard. I played middle c repeatedly for her.
"Isn't that boring?" I asked.
"No", she said, wrinkling her nose at me. She's in middle school. It's hard to motivate this age.
But I kept trying. I told her that learning is often painful.
"It shouldn't be!", she said. "It should be fun!"
"Nope", said I smugly. "In order to learn, we have to stretch ourselves, and it might hurt our brain a little, but that means we are truly learning. I call it brain pain. I like to play challenging music. Don't be afraid of the brain pain"!
Hmmm...
O.K. I'm home, with a happy tummy full of tabouli, homemade meat sauce over gluten free macaroni and a Coors Light.
I have been craving beer lately. Could it be that all the books I've been reading and Anthony Bourdain's programs feature copious amounts of drinking? Socially of course.
I am such an odd bird. I prefer a Coors Light alone.
Speaking of social lives (of which I am blissfully lacking, but considering changing), I stumbled across another author I intend to follow. David Brooks. I just put his newest book The Second Mountain on hold at the library. It fits into my current quest. Here is a synopsis form goodreads.com:
"In short, this book is meant to help us all lead more meaningful lives. But it’s also a provocative social commentary. We live in a society, Brooks argues, that celebrates freedom, that tells us to be true to ourselves, at the expense of surrendering to a cause, rooting ourselves in a neighborhood, binding ourselves to others by social solidarity and love. We have taken individualism to the extreme—and in the process we have torn the social fabric in a thousand different ways. The path to repair is through making deeper commitments. In The Second Mountain, Brooks shows what can happen when we put commitment-making at the center of our lives. " ~https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/40642458-the-second-mountain
O.K. Let me interrupt this blog with a
BIG WOAH!
I ate my dinner in front of the television. Yup, another episode of "Parts Unknown" with Anthony Bourdain. I'm hooked. I had seen parts of the episode in Hanoi, Vietnam where Barak Obama and Anthony Bourdain met for a meal of "bun cha" and a beer. I saw it on Youtube a few years ago. I also cried a few tears when Obama tweeted a picture of their meal following Anthony's death with this tweet:
‘Low plastic stool, cheap but delicious noodles, cold Hanoi beer,’” Obama tweeted on Friday in the wake of news of Bourdain’s death, apparently by suicide. “That’s how I’ll remember Tony. He taught us about food — but more importantly, about its ability to bring us together. To make us a little less afraid of the unknown. We’ll miss him.” https://www.vox.com/policy-and-politics/2018/6/8/17442488/anthony-bourdain-parts-unknown-barack-obama-vietnam
Tonight I watched the full episode. I cried real tears seeing Anthony and Barak sharing a meal. I sensed a real connection there.
But what I am really "Woahing" about is the episode in Buenes Aries, Argentina. He filmed there during their summer, when residents who could afford a vacation would travel to cooler locations, leaving the city quite deserted. Anthony said several times he enjoyed the sweet sadness that he felt there. He also spoke many times, seemingly very impressed with the fact that most people in Argentina are in therapy. And not ashamed of it.
Anthony actually films a clip of him speaking with a therapist. He spoke about his depression. When asked if he was happy, he thought for a brief moment and then simply said, "No".
In another clip he muses that he has a charmed life, traveling the world, meeting people, filming, writing books, eating extraordinary food. But he does not have many moments of happiness.
He also said in the episode that he travels 200 days a year and it is "crushingly lonely". He spoke about feeling isolated.
Why do I feel such a connection with this man? And why now, after he is gone?
Why do I feel such a connection with this man? And why now, after he is gone?
He has mentioned in other episodes that he despises crowds, carnivals and parades. In the Buenes aries episode during a "therapy" session he admitted is biggest fear: Clowns!
Me too! I have always fear and despised clowns. How creepy to paint on a face, especially a big grin. What do they look like underneath the makeup? Even before "It", I sensed evil.
O.K. Enough about clown.
Shudder.
O.K. Enough about clown.
Shudder.
What am I learning from studying Anthony Bourdain? From reading the travel journals of Richard Grant who also admitted for most of his life he despised normal life?
I am at least finding out that my own unique brand of weirdness is shared with others. Some very famous others! But I do not wish to come to a tragic end. I think there is some moderation to be found.
In my readings, and from Anthony Bourdain's programs, there has been a theme that keeps popping up. Pretty much in my face: Community.
I do need to connect more. Risk feeling a little uncomfortable. Just like I advised my piano student.
Not sure exactly how this will play out. I will keep you posted!
In the meantime, happy Saturday. Today is Holy Saturday. The day after Jesus was crucified, died and lay in the tomb. I remember reciting the "Apostle's Creed" in Catholic Church and school as a child. "...He was crucified, died and was buried. He descended into hell..."
I always felt uncomfortable saying that outloud. I did not want to think of Jesus in hell.
As an adult, I would sometimes attend Catholic mass, especially during Holy Week. I particularly enjoyed the somber, darkness of Good Friday and the Easter Vigil, Saturday night. Awaiting Jesus return from the dead.
Of course I enjoy the exultation on Easter, Resurrection Sunday. But it just occurred to me that my lack of connection could be my lack of a commitment to a church. I often say at interviews for church jobs that I am "nondemoninational", I can worship God and praise Jesus in any church - and have done so in so many I've lost count!
But perhaps it might be time to find a church to call home. Perhaps this next church that I am applying for may be the place. After all, I have become quite fascinated with Martin Luther (my next subject to study!)
Oy, I've talked enough for one day.
I must get some sleep. I am playing the organ and piano tomorrow for two church services.
I wish you a happy Saturday. Talk to you tomorrow!
Love,
Zita
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