Day 38 Reflections

This sweet duck let me get mere inches from her to take a picture on the trail yesterday. I think she was even posing for me!

 
Almost 40 days of daily exercise and commitment to getting stronger and healthier.  I do believe I am starting to reprogram my brain! I am finally accomplishing daily living - took me 53 years, but here I am!

Today, I am spending the day planning a concert I am playing in August.  It's called "Zita's Cool Piano Concert". Since I have some time off, I can not only stay focused on exercising, but perhaps I can also apply this new found discipline to the rest of my life!

Embarrassingly enough, I have not always practiced the piano as diligently as I should. I have been lazy, relying on my strong sight reading ability.

But, that, along with my fat will become a thing of the past!  My new goal is to spend 2 hours a day practicing.  It does help to have a goal. I usually practice for whatever performance is imminent. My next big performance is my concert. But I also record music for people on my fiverr.com site and I am a new member of Portland Chamber Music and will need to start working on their material.

So...a few random thoughts about my running. I have noticed that as I walk long distances, random memories start popping up. Pop ups. Like on a computer! Some are not so pleasant. When I jog or run, I cannot think of anything besides my breathing.  But when I walk, memories.

Years ago I went to school to study massage. I passed the state boards and was a Licensed Massage Therapist before I started teaching. During one of our classes, one of the instructors talked about repressed emotions.  She explained that many people just swallow their negative emotions, because they do not want to or feel they are incapable of dealing with them. But this negativity has to go somewhere. So it is buried in our bodies. And sometimes when a client is getting a deep tissue massage, really relaxing and trusting her therapist, these feelings will dislodge.  Some clients will sob.

I've had this happen with clients. I would usually stop, and put a hand in the center of their back and tell them it is ok to cry. They are usually embarrassed, but feel greatly relieved afterwards.

I think that my negative feelings are being released through my exercise. Hopefully they will just dissipate into the air.

I have read many books by Thich Nhat Hanh. He is a Vietnamese Buddhist.  He has many wise thoughts on mindfulness, peace, and living a balanced life.  Thomas Merton, a monk whose writings I inhale, was friends with Thich Nhat Hanh.  Thomas died way too young, but Thich Nhat Hanh is still with us.  His wisdom sounds simple, but is actually quite deep if you let it sink in.

Here is an excerpt from a talk with Oprah. I found this on the blog "Change from Within" (https://presentheaven.wordpress.com/2010/05/13/thich-nhat-hanh-on-dealing-with-emotions-like-fear/)

Oprah: What if in a moment of mindfulness you are being challenged? For instance, the other day someone presented me with a lawsuit, and it’s hard to feel happy when somebody is going to be taking you to court.
Nhat Hanh: The practice is to go to the anxiety, the worry—
Oprah: The fear. First thing that happens is that fear sets in, like, What am I going to do?

Nhat Hanh: So you recognize that fear. You embrace it tenderly and look deeply into it. And as you embrace your pain, you get relief and you find out how to handle that emotion. And if you know how to handle the fear, then you have enough insight in order to solve the problem. The problem is to not allow that anxiety to take over. When these feelings arise, you have to practice in order to use the energy of mindfulness to recognize them, embrace them, look deeply into them. It’s like a mother when the baby is crying. Your anxiety is your baby. You have to take care of it. You have to go back to yourself, recognize the suffering in you, embrace the suffering, and you get relief. And if you continue with your practice of mindfulness, you understand the roots, the nature of the suffering, and you know the way to transform it.

I remember in a book I read of his, he talks to the negative emotion. Like, "Hello anger. I see you. But I am not ruled by you."  My quote, not his. But the point is that we ARE NOT our emotions.  We can acknowledge them, but how we decided to act is on us.  And that is what makes the difference.


Today I am going to hit the gym and do some chest/triceps and abs work. Then I am heading to the Grotto to walk the labyrinth. No trail today. I miss it already, but I feel like I need to shake things up a bit today.

I am coming up on 40 days. That is significant. Jesus fasted for 40 days! At which point he was tempted by the devil.  Temptations surround me daily. But I am strong.  I have stayed my path for 38 days.  I have not been perfect, but I continue on!

Happy Thursday! :)

Matthew 4:1-11King James Version (KJV)

4 Then was Jesus led up of the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted of the devil.

² And when he had fasted forty days and forty nights, he was afterward an hungred.

³ And when the tempter came to him, he said, If thou be the Son of God, command that these stones be made bread.

⁴ But he answered and said, It is written, Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God.

⁵ Then the devil taketh him up into the holy city, and setteth him on a pinnacle of the temple,

⁶ And saith unto him, If thou be the Son of God, cast thyself down: for it is written, He shall give his angels charge concerning thee: and in their hands they shall bear thee up, lest at any time thou dash thy foot against a stone.

⁷ Jesus said unto him, It is written again, Thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy God.

⁸ Again, the devil taketh him up into an exceeding high mountain, and sheweth him all the kingdoms of the world, and the glory of them;

⁹ And saith unto him, All these things will I give thee, if thou wilt fall down and worship me.

¹⁰ Then saith Jesus unto him, Get thee hence, Satan: for it is written, Thou shalt worship the Lord thy God, and him only shalt thou serve.

¹¹ Then the devil leaveth him, and, behold, angels came and ministered unto him.

King James Version (KJV) by Public Domain