Oh, how I have missed my blog!
Unfortunately, I was not off on an exotic vacation.
I was mostly on ice.
Still dealing with this back pain.
But today I woke up feeling a bit better. The weird thing is that I think I am healed, and I go back to my normal routine and then the next day I can barely move.
There are many painful lessons that I am learning during this adventure.
First of all, I need to be kinder, gentler and more patient with myself. You may have noticed I am an all or nothing type. I have been called bipolar, mercurial (kind of like that one!), passionate, flighty....Oh how people do love to label!
But that is human nature. I fight labeling, categorizing and judging every step of the way. But I am guilty too.
When I started this blog over a year and a half ago, I was focused on daily exercise. I was also trying to lift myself spiritually. But my focus was exercise. I was determined to stop procrastinating, work out everday, thus whipping my sad self into shape!
But sometimes the exercise was too aggressive. Like I was mad at myself. And the overeating continued.
So I would torture myself with exercise and console myself with eating. Like a see-saw I was.
Kind of insane when I really think about it.
And this injury has given me much time to think!
So without overanalyzing everything as I am prone to do, I am simply going to let go a little.
Let go of anxiety...which is absolutely tied to my overeating.
Let go of shame. That is a block to life itself!
And let go of perfectionism. I really am ok right now where I am at!
Where I would like to improve is simply eating less. This excess weight is not helping my back pain.
So starting today, here is my eating plan: (Note that today I am still in recovery mode. During my work week, to allow myself to nurture myself, I will be leaving the house earlier and moving slower. I am also going to hold off on the gym until I am recovered. So less food intake is vital!)
And it brought tears to my eyes when she told me she had these products for me and would like to bring them to me! She came to the church where I was teaching and told me to rub the gel on my back and cover it with a patch.
I found some relief immediately, but as my daughter pointed out, I have been focused too much on feeling good now. Heat feels good. Ice does not. I have been using heat more than ice. I know better. In the early stages after an injury, ice reduces inflammation.
On Saturday I slathered gel ony low vack, covered the gel with a patch and then sat on my piano teacher chair with a hot pack all day.
By the end of the day I could barely move! My low back felt bruised, as if someone had punched me.
So today I am doing gel, patch, ice and rest. I am not trying to stretch or exercise or fix myself.
God providing the natural healing mechanism I need. Time. At 54, time is not really on my side, but I am more balanced emotionally and spiritually then when I was young and svelte.
The key is to just take it slow and enjoy this God given life!
I am breathing and relaxing and enjoying this time.
Oh and another beautiful people moment happened earlier. I let Honey Dawg out in the back yard to do her business. Then after about 20 minutes I heard her barking, so I called her name and clapped.
But she did not come running up the back stairs as usual.
I was annoyed. I knew if I went down the stairs, my back pain would flare up. So I went out on the deck and clapped and called her name louder. No response.
I started worrying that the gate had been left open. I went on the front porch. But again, encountered stairs. So I stood on the porch, thinking.
Then I noticed the little boy next door in his front yard. I asked him if he could see my dog. He said, "She is right here by the fence".
So I clapped and called. No answer.
Just then one of my neighbors up the street, who is a dog lover and owner, walked by. She saw me calling Honey and came over. I told her my back hurt and I could not go down the stairs to get her.
The neighbor lady came over and visited with Honey and told her to go inside. I went back on the back deck and clapped and called. Getting more annoyed. And slightly embarrassed. What must the neighbors think of me in my flannel nightgown, hair standing up, ice pack on my back bellowing for "Honey Dawg"?
So I started to go down the back steps. Slowly. Carefully. Then I saw another one of the neighbor boys in his back yard. He is the oldest boy. I asked him if he could see Honey Dawg. He said he could. I told him my back hurt and I could not go down the stairs but I was trying to get her to come in.
He immediately leaped over the fence and said, "I will help!"
He asked if she was friendly. If she bites. I said no. I told him to just call her name. He disappeared around the corner. I heard him say, "Hi Honey. Good dog."
Then he came back and told me she was trapped! Some wood had fallen down and blocked her in.
Poor Honey Dawg! I felt so bad.
The boy said he would free her. And within a few minutes she came bounding up the stairs.
What a relief. A moment of happy reunion for Honey and I. All due to human kindness. This makes my heart sing. And makes my back feel a little better.
Honey came in and drank a ton of water and then laid down on the couch. I did not scold her. So traumatized is she!
Happy Sunday!
Unfortunately, I was not off on an exotic vacation.
I was mostly on ice.
Still dealing with this back pain.
But today I woke up feeling a bit better. The weird thing is that I think I am healed, and I go back to my normal routine and then the next day I can barely move.
There are many painful lessons that I am learning during this adventure.
First of all, I need to be kinder, gentler and more patient with myself. You may have noticed I am an all or nothing type. I have been called bipolar, mercurial (kind of like that one!), passionate, flighty....Oh how people do love to label!
But that is human nature. I fight labeling, categorizing and judging every step of the way. But I am guilty too.
When I started this blog over a year and a half ago, I was focused on daily exercise. I was also trying to lift myself spiritually. But my focus was exercise. I was determined to stop procrastinating, work out everday, thus whipping my sad self into shape!
But sometimes the exercise was too aggressive. Like I was mad at myself. And the overeating continued.
So I would torture myself with exercise and console myself with eating. Like a see-saw I was.
Kind of insane when I really think about it.
And this injury has given me much time to think!
So without overanalyzing everything as I am prone to do, I am simply going to let go a little.
Let go of anxiety...which is absolutely tied to my overeating.
Let go of shame. That is a block to life itself!
And let go of perfectionism. I really am ok right now where I am at!
Where I would like to improve is simply eating less. This excess weight is not helping my back pain.
So starting today, here is my eating plan: (Note that today I am still in recovery mode. During my work week, to allow myself to nurture myself, I will be leaving the house earlier and moving slower. I am also going to hold off on the gym until I am recovered. So less food intake is vital!)
 |
| This is an ideal portion. I need to remember this when I feel better! |
Breakfast
10:00 a.m.: 1 piece bacon, one quarter cup fried potatoes, 1 cup orange ginger tea.
Lunch
12:00 p.m.: One bowl leftover pho broth, one fourth cup rice noodles, one eigth cup bean sprouts, one tablespoon kim chi, 1 teaspoon black bean garlic paste, 1 cup water.
Dinner
It is only 1:30. I plan on having dinner at 4:30. Beans, rice and pickled red onions.
My appetite is low. I am going to take advantage of that.
My appetite is low. I am going to take advantage of that.
I made the use of a day at home by cooking. I made a pot of pinto beans, some brown rice, and some pickled red onions. The onions turned out really super scrumptious.
I had a plethora of red onions. I was given a bag at the church where I teach. I did not want them to go bad. This is a good solution! I used this recipes: http://www.budgetbytes.com/2016/08/pickled-red-onions/
 |
| My pickled red onions! |
I had a plethora of red onions. I was given a bag at the church where I teach. I did not want them to go bad. This is a good solution! I used this recipes: http://www.budgetbytes.com/2016/08/pickled-red-onions/
I started out this morning at 188 pounds. My goal is 172 by the end of the year. There I said it. Now I must do it. In the words of Yoda, "Do or do not. There is no try!"
 |
| Kind of blurry. It says 188.6. Keep going down scale! And yes, I know I have Fred Flinstone feet! |
Another lesson I am learning, yet again is that I need other people. Yesterday one of my group piano students moms called to check on me. She said she and her son were worried about my back. She told me when she was in a car accident, her PT recommend Tiger Balm Patches and Biofreeze gel.
I found some relief immediately, but as my daughter pointed out, I have been focused too much on feeling good now. Heat feels good. Ice does not. I have been using heat more than ice. I know better. In the early stages after an injury, ice reduces inflammation.
On Saturday I slathered gel ony low vack, covered the gel with a patch and then sat on my piano teacher chair with a hot pack all day.
By the end of the day I could barely move! My low back felt bruised, as if someone had punched me.
So today I am doing gel, patch, ice and rest. I am not trying to stretch or exercise or fix myself.
God providing the natural healing mechanism I need. Time. At 54, time is not really on my side, but I am more balanced emotionally and spiritually then when I was young and svelte.
The key is to just take it slow and enjoy this God given life!
I am breathing and relaxing and enjoying this time.
Oh and another beautiful people moment happened earlier. I let Honey Dawg out in the back yard to do her business. Then after about 20 minutes I heard her barking, so I called her name and clapped.
But she did not come running up the back stairs as usual.
I was annoyed. I knew if I went down the stairs, my back pain would flare up. So I went out on the deck and clapped and called her name louder. No response.
I started worrying that the gate had been left open. I went on the front porch. But again, encountered stairs. So I stood on the porch, thinking.
Then I noticed the little boy next door in his front yard. I asked him if he could see my dog. He said, "She is right here by the fence".
So I clapped and called. No answer.
Just then one of my neighbors up the street, who is a dog lover and owner, walked by. She saw me calling Honey and came over. I told her my back hurt and I could not go down the stairs to get her.
The neighbor lady came over and visited with Honey and told her to go inside. I went back on the back deck and clapped and called. Getting more annoyed. And slightly embarrassed. What must the neighbors think of me in my flannel nightgown, hair standing up, ice pack on my back bellowing for "Honey Dawg"?
So I started to go down the back steps. Slowly. Carefully. Then I saw another one of the neighbor boys in his back yard. He is the oldest boy. I asked him if he could see Honey Dawg. He said he could. I told him my back hurt and I could not go down the stairs but I was trying to get her to come in.
He immediately leaped over the fence and said, "I will help!"
He asked if she was friendly. If she bites. I said no. I told him to just call her name. He disappeared around the corner. I heard him say, "Hi Honey. Good dog."
Then he came back and told me she was trapped! Some wood had fallen down and blocked her in.
Poor Honey Dawg! I felt so bad.
The boy said he would free her. And within a few minutes she came bounding up the stairs.
What a relief. A moment of happy reunion for Honey and I. All due to human kindness. This makes my heart sing. And makes my back feel a little better.
Honey came in and drank a ton of water and then laid down on the couch. I did not scold her. So traumatized is she!
 |
| Poor Honey Dawg! |
Happy Sunday!
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