Year Two, Day 195: Dropping the Facade!

Just Me. Heading to the Gym!

I had another good day yesterday. I had my usual Saturday breakfast with mom, but my daughter and her husband joined us.

These times feel very stressful. And I find myself wanting to be closer to family.

However, I am still feeling the mercurial pull of the internet, especially facebook. I am trying to wean myself. And live more full present in the real world. I have picked up a bit of a habit, that I am trying to break. It seems to have really taken hold of me since my back injury and the elections.

I am hooked on "Words with Friends". The online scrabble game. I am especially intent on beating my son in law. Who has pummeled me every game!  I have really improved my game and usually beat most of my other friends. But not SIL!

We were even playing at the breakfast table yesterday!

But I realize that internet games, facebook, food, cookbooks, magazines, television...they all rob time from potential real life experiences.  As you can see from my list, my addictions are not all electronic.

My challenge in life has always been to be more present.  It is a daily struggle.

This morning I totally unplugged from life. In every way. I woke up early, intending to go to church. I looked outside at the gray, dreary rainy day...which usually I like! And I made a decision.  The world would revolve without me for awhile. I dove back under the covers and had a delicious sleep in!

My daughter made breakfast. She and her husband went to the horses. I finally dragged myself out of bed to make tea at noon!

And I do not feel one bit guilty. I feel revived.

I went on the Plenty of Fish app. I have not been getting much attention since I put "God" and "Family" first on my list of interests.

But I had a few nice conversations with my pocket men...men who I do not know if I will meet, but are nice for small talk.

Then a new man popped up. I will call him "S". My age, nice smile. And most polite!  We had a nice conversation. And come to find out he lives in my hood!

We actually moved to a real live phone conversation.  He sounds very real.  I told him I am heading out to the gym and to the library. He suggested we meet.  This feels nice and natural. I told him I have scared off a few, and I am a little nervous, having been out of the pool for awhile. But he seemed so easy going and positive...

And for once I did not have the manic, crazy feeling I usually do when one "bites"!

I am like a bipolar fisherwoman! When I get one on the hook, I get giddy and spend too much time thinking about what I am going to wear, what I am going to say....

No more!  Life is too short. I do not want to play games, so I need to just drop the facade and be me!

I told him I will be coming from the gym.  I will be in sweat pants. He said, "Awesome".


How about if I continue this tonight?

Happy Sunday so far!


Just Me!  (Z)