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Year Two, Day 326: The Knot



Something about a day without rain in Portland...


Today was glorious!  I wanted to just sit outside and bask in the sun.  I feel like my bones are thawing out from our long winter. In fact, after my morning job at the church, I sat on the deck and wrote in my prayer journal, talked to one of my housemates - about dragons! We even drew some dragons. And then I just leaned back and soaked in the glorious light.



I felt quite lighthearted today. Chipper even.  Even my little flower was happy. I took him with me to work so he wouldn't be lonely.

This is the flower that came in my "happy" care package from an anonymous sweet angel several months ago. When I was battling depression.



Amazingly I was not battling depression today.  Not one bit! Super amazing given my feeding frenzy this weekend.

But I have learned not to question happiness!

I just thanked God for the sunshine and the lightness in my soul! :)


But I did notice the bags under my eyes. Not a pretty sight. But I am posting a picture here as proof.  Of my eating sins. Also, I think it is evidence of my allergic state.  I always have poofy eyes when my allergies are acting up. And/or when I eat late at night - especially salty foods.

I am serious about getting past this weight loss plateau.  I stepped on the scale this morning.

I weighed in at 194 pounds.

My goal weight is 140. 

I am back to eating mostly whole foods again.  Veggies, fruit, lean protein, yogurt, cottage cheese, hummus.

And no late night eating or recreational eating.

I do reserve the right however, to enjoy a family celebration dinner now and then.

And I am going to increase my workout intensity.

After I see my doctor about this cough.  I am assuming it's allergy related. But it's really lingering.

Despite the fact that my Nin Jiom candy arrived today. These are seriously yummy!



I have to share a very strange even that happened last night. It might have something to do with my lightness of spirit today. 

I was tired from all my feasting, so I was planning on heading to bed early. I had found 3 videos for $1 at my favorite used book store.  I was planning on watching "The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood".  I must be in a Sandra Bullock mood lately.  Actually, she is one of my favorite actresses.  I relate to her humanness.

I popped the movie in and got out my yarn, planning to start working on the camo blanket for my new grandbaby.  I remember someone telling me years ago, to first wrap the yarn into a ball so that it flows better.  So I got cozy, started to watch the movie all the while wrapping my yarn.  Then all of sudden, I looked down to a big ol' tangled up knot!

I was horrified.  Luckily I had about 2/3 of the skein of yarn in a ball. But I told myself to remain calm. I slowly started to try to work the knot out. But the more I worked on it, the knottier it became!

And I became quite obsessed! Long after the movie was over, I was trying to undo the knot.

And the oddest thing happened. Every time I would untangle one section, a memory in my life would pop up, and then I would reach another knot.  I would work on that one, loosening it, and another memory in life would pop up. Sometimes connected to the previous memory, sometimes not. (Or "knot"! lol).

This went on for maybe an hour. I worked through most of my life while working through the knots.  But then I started getting anxious.  I was worried that I would be super tired and cranky in the morning. I glanced at the clock. 1:00 a.m.! I had been working out the knots in my yarn and in  my life for two hours!

I took a deep breath and found some scissors. And snipped that knot right off of the rest of the yarn.

And then I felt like this big weight had lifted.

Is there a metaphor here somewhere?  Perhaps I need to just cut out the old regrets and mistakes of my past?

Especially now as a new life is about to burst into our family.  And as my father is on the doorstep of death.

I felt such peace as I fell asleep. And, yes I was tired this morning. But the sunshine revived me. And I ended up having one of the most positive days I have had in a long time.

Coincidence?  Or "knot"!?



Talk to you tomorrow.

Oh, and my fruit of the spirit (from Galatians 5:22-23) today was "Joy".

And today I lived joy.

May your day be blessed with love and joy tomorrow!

Happy Monday!

Zita

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