Skip to main content

Year Four, Day 233: The Crazy-Go-Round: What If...?

''To be aware that you are watching the [mental] voice talk is to stand on the threshold of a fantastic inner journey. If used properly, the same mental voice that has been a source of worry, distraction, and general neurosis can become the launching ground for true spiritual awakening.''
 ― Michael Singer, The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself 

Michael Singer has changed my life with his book The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself. And I have not yet read the book! It is on hold at the library. I have been inhaling quotes from it and watching his videos.

 I feel this opening up and awakening of my being.  I feel like I am ready to grow spiritually as never before!
I have made a conscious commitment to continue this soul work.  This work of honoring my authentic self and  not caving into the negative chatter in my brain.

Years ago, I realized (perhaps after reading something somewhere), that when someone asks me to point to myself, I usually place my hand on my heart. That is where I feel my "self" is housed. I do not point to brain. That is like my computer. Where information is stored. And where that annoying, accusing voice lives.

Undoing a life time of soul abuse will not be an easy journey  - My poor soul has been confined, tossed about and beaten my entire life - but bring it on! I am more than ready!

Every moment of this day, when the anxious, critical, depressing or otherwise negative thoughts begin to ooze into my brain, I have stopped them. I used to examine them. And oddly enough, argue with the negative voices.  Sometimes they would be in the form of my antagonists. People that I am having conflict with at the moment. I would relive a negative moment and then role play, but they would always be saying mean, judgmental things to me. And I would be arguing back in self defense.

I'm not sure when I started doing this. It is making me laugh right now, because it sounds so ridiculous. Arguing with phantam antagonist, defending my case in my own head!

The funny thing is, when I sometimes run into some of these people, they have often been happy to see me, giving me a warm hug and such. Obviously they are not aware of how they attacked me in my own head!

O.K. This must stop now!

A few weeks ago, I told my counselor that I had a profound thought. What if instead of continuing my negative spiral, I just got off the merry-go-round.  (In my case it is not so merry anyway, it is more of a crazy-go-round!)  What if I just jumped off! What if I just was happy and carefree and appreciated every moment of my life. What if?

My counselor got all excited and grabbed his pen and paper and said he had to write that down.  I love when he does that.  I feel like it is a compliment.  Like perhaps he's getting an occasional insight from me!

Let's do an experiment. Let's start that "what if" right this moment! It will be an interesting way to begin a new year!

I'll talk to you tomorrow!

Love,

Zita






Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Year Two, Day 201: "I"

Before my first meeting with "I" I had a wonderful first date last night! We had a lot on common. The conversation flowed easily. We laughed. It was so lovely, that I think I shall not blog about him. Not yet anyway. I am just going to call him "I". I like I. 😉 Today was a long, wonderful family day. Went to church with my daughter and son-in-law. Very powerful, uplifting service. After that we went to the horse races. Had a blast. Broke even. Essentially had a free lunch and four hours of entertainment. After the horses, we had yet another Thanksgiving dinner at my niece's place. It was her first turkey. It was amazing! But thank God I had enough willpower to resist the pie! Tomorrow I go for my first physical therapy appointment. Tuesday it is back to the gym!! Happy Sunday!
Post a Comment
Read more

Day 338: Unicorns in the Bible!

I am still working out the kinks in my daily routine. I am going to try practicing piano first today. I find I get so sidetracked that I don't get enough time in, and then I feel stress. I have quite a few performances coming up. Do not need stress!  So, my new daily plan will look something like this:  Wake up Pray Drink water and smoothie Piano practice Exercise Lunch Teach Read Bible and blog in between students Dinner Stretch Pray Bed My daughter and I food prepped last night. We made enough crockpot meals for our family of four for the next 2 to 3 weeks.  We put them in bags and tossed them in the freezer. We have turkey, veggie chili going on right now. Man, does the house smell good! My psalm of the day made me chuckle today. And got me curious about translations.  I read Psalm 29 in my King James Bible. Notice the appearance of the mythical unicorn in verse 6!   Psalm 29 1   Give unto the LORD, O ye mighty,  ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Year Three, Day 110: I Like Change, But How Do I Help the Suffering?

I woke up in a bit of a panic this morning. I had planned on getting to the track by 6:30 a.m., because I thought today was the first day of school. You see, the public is not allowed to use the track when school is in session. Understandably so. But alas, I overslept! I still headed out with my hoop, hoping it was before school hours at 7:30 a.m. And I breathed a sigh of relief. The school looked vacant. And only one solitary jogger with her solitary dog was present. I got busy in case the kids were due to arrive. Got a nice hoop workout in. No sign of children as I walked back to the house. So I did what I should have done in advance. I consulted Google. And most happy am I - North Clackamas School District does not start back to school until September 6th! Portland Public Schools start today. But the elementary school next door to the track lists "student hours" as 7:45 - 2:00 p.m. So I really am going to have to get an earlier start next week. I am aiming...
Post a Comment
Read more