Skip to main content

Year Two, Day 41: Watching the Sun Go Down with the Honey Dog

Do you know what is awkward about being an introvert? (Aside from all those social situations, that is...).  

The day when you finally have a whole day to yourself. Space! Freedom! No one to violate your personal space!

And you feel lonely!

Sigh.

My adult children are all at the coast.  I went to a lovely church service this morning and a long walk. Sat in with an a cappella choir who is looking for an accompanist.  Went to lunch.  Browsed my favorite used bookstore. Came home to a very quiet house.  And my anxiety. I started to worry about my adult children.  

Then I told myself to enjoy the peace and quiet. I made homemade falafel burgers. I ate leftover orange chicken, rice and hot and sour soup.

Then I noticed that I was not alone!

Honey Dog had come and put her head on my knee and was looking up at my with concern.

So I grabbed her ball and we went outside and played. She was ecstatic. Jumping around like Tigger from Winnie the Pooh. Then I remembered I was supposed to water the plants.  They are looking quite healthy.  The hot sun a few weeks ago and then the rain storms this week have made very happy plants. My daughter is happy too.  So am I. I love walking out and plucking fresh herbs for my culinary creations.

After the watering of the plants, I made myself a drink. Half grapefruit juice, half sparkling water. Honey Dog and I sat on the deck and watched the sunset.

I said a prayer for safe travel for my children.  

I thought about my parents.  I speak to my mother every day on the phone. We have breakfast once a week. I also give her a piano lesson once a week.  I speak only occasionally to my father.  I sent him a card which he recieved yesterday. A Father's Day card. Perhaps that is why I am meloncholy.  

Today is Father's Day. I see loving father tributes all over Facebook.  

My dad and I have never been close. But his recent stroke and diagnosis of Parkinson's disease brought up feelings of compassion for him that I did not know existed. We have had a bit of healing. I talk to him at family gatherings.  Mostly about his health. It is easy for me to shift to caregiving mode.  Daughter mode does not really work. Since I never really felt that father daughter connection.

But I am glad we are healing our relationship before it is too late.  Not healed enough for me to talk to him on the phone. He shares the same social awkwardness as I. He especially does not do phone communication.

I did, however have a nice chat on the phone with my daughter's father. A lot of healing in that relationship too.

But for now, I am especially grateful for the unconditional love and companionship of Honey Dog. 

Unconditional love, the greatest healer.  

And most of all, I am grateful that I have accept the unconditional, eternal, unfailing love of my Heavenly Father.  

Happy Sunday! 

Happy Father's Day!




1 John 4:16 
KJV
"And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him."

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Year Four, Day 328: Success at Last!! This is What I Do

Hello My Long Lost Friends! Or, perhaps it was I who was lost? And now I think I am beginning to find myself!  Under layers of fat, and self loathing!  How's that for an opening line!  Or perhaps the title of a novel:  Layers of Fat and Self-Loathing! Today I stepped on the scale.  I am weighing myself every morning these days. I was shocked! I told my partner the scale must be broken!  Yesterday I weight 186. Today 185! I have been on a strict intermittent fast for the past 10 weeks. I have officially lost 12 pounds!  And the best news is I think I not only can stick to this way of eating, I am actually beginning to really enjoy it!  And look how far I've come! I've been writing since May 12, 2015.  Over 8 years now!  I know this blog post says Year Four, Day 328, but there have been many pauses in blogging. For instance, when I am not pleased with progress or simply have no words! I was 53 when I first began blogging. I am now 61. I honestly feel better than I did 8 years
Post a Comment
Read more

Year Four, Day 335: "Crisis Fatigue"

Hello Friends! I have missed you! I have been so utterly exhausted and downright depressed, that I couldn't summon enough energy to even lift my fingers to this computer keyboard to write.  Apparently there is a mental disorder for people going through crises.  Crises such as pandemics, systemic racism, political division, unemployment, police brutality, civil unrest.... It's called "crisis fatigue". When humans are presented with a threat, adrenaline is released to give us quick energy. This is called the "fight or flight syndrome". But when threats are overwhelming, and perceivably continuous, like this year, it overwhelms the system. People can feel numb, depressed, anxious and irritable. Yup. That's me.  I guess I'm quite normal after all! I found an interesting article that describes crisis fatigue, especially in relation to current events.  But it doesn't really address how to take care of ourselves during these unsettling times!
1 comment
Read more

Year Four, Day 247: What Happened in Vegas...

  Expectations can be brutal. Especially when reality dashes them against the rocky shores of our souls. How's that for an opening line? I was so excited about my recent trip to Las Vegas.  I haven't travelled anywhere in so long. I do believe I have been bit by the travel bug.  I want the freedom to go places I have never been, see things I have never seen and experience life as a stellar adventure! My kids are young adults with families of their own.  I have my role as Zma, as Teacher Zita. But I am on a quest to find Zita. She's hidden someone deep inside. Covered in layers. Like an onion. I like the onion analogy. Notice the outermost layer of an onion - dry  and papery. As you peel off layers, the inside is juicy and sweet. I have paid my dues of sacrifice, shame and self deprivation.  What I want now is to embrace the life I have remaining. Have you seen the life pie chart? I don't know where I read this, but it stuck with me.  Draw a circle.  And then divide it i
3 comments
Read more