Do you know what is awkward about being an introvert? (Aside from all those social situations, that is...).
The day when you finally have a whole day to yourself. Space! Freedom! No one to violate your personal space!
And you feel lonely!
Sigh.
My adult children are all at the coast. I went to a lovely church service this morning and a long walk. Sat in with an a cappella choir who is looking for an accompanist. Went to lunch. Browsed my favorite used bookstore. Came home to a very quiet house. And my anxiety. I started to worry about my adult children.
Then I told myself to enjoy the peace and quiet. I made homemade falafel burgers. I ate leftover orange chicken, rice and hot and sour soup.
Then I noticed that I was not alone!
Honey Dog had come and put her head on my knee and was looking up at my with concern.
So I grabbed her ball and we went outside and played. She was ecstatic. Jumping around like Tigger from Winnie the Pooh. Then I remembered I was supposed to water the plants. They are looking quite healthy. The hot sun a few weeks ago and then the rain storms this week have made very happy plants. My daughter is happy too. So am I. I love walking out and plucking fresh herbs for my culinary creations.
After the watering of the plants, I made myself a drink. Half grapefruit juice, half sparkling water. Honey Dog and I sat on the deck and watched the sunset.
I said a prayer for safe travel for my children.
I thought about my parents. I speak to my mother every day on the phone. We have breakfast once a week. I also give her a piano lesson once a week. I speak only occasionally to my father. I sent him a card which he recieved yesterday. A Father's Day card. Perhaps that is why I am meloncholy.
Today is Father's Day. I see loving father tributes all over Facebook.
My dad and I have never been close. But his recent stroke and diagnosis of Parkinson's disease brought up feelings of compassion for him that I did not know existed. We have had a bit of healing. I talk to him at family gatherings. Mostly about his health. It is easy for me to shift to caregiving mode. Daughter mode does not really work. Since I never really felt that father daughter connection.
But I am glad we are healing our relationship before it is too late. Not healed enough for me to talk to him on the phone. He shares the same social awkwardness as I. He especially does not do phone communication.
I did, however have a nice chat on the phone with my daughter's father. A lot of healing in that relationship too.
But for now, I am especially grateful for the unconditional love and companionship of Honey Dog.
Unconditional love, the greatest healer.
And most of all, I am grateful that I have accept the unconditional, eternal, unfailing love of my Heavenly Father.
Happy Sunday!
Happy Father's Day!
KJV
"And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is
love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him."
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