Skip to main content

Year Two, Day 78: Mourning Sickness

True confession time.

I am and have always been an emotional person.  I get teased a lot. Especially from my children.  If we are watching a movie together and a moment of sadness or even joy comes on, they all look at me.

Inevitably I am sniffing and dabbing my eyes. They laugh at me and say something like,

"Mom, it is only a movie"!

I have actually prided myself on my emotional depth. Yes, I consider it depth. Not weakness. I feel like I have a capacity to feel deeply. To empathize. And to "follow my gut".

But lately my stomach hurts almost constantly.  It seems daily we are horrified by acts of senseless violence.  I wake up in the morning with a sick feeling.  And I am past childbearing age so it is not morning sickness.

I believe it is mourning sickness.

And this is not a movie. 

Mourning the loss of innocent lives at the hands of what I can only comprehend as pure evil.

If you are a Christian, it is hard to deny this looks like the "End Times".

Here is a passage from the bible about recognizing the time of the end is near:

2 Timothy 3:1-5 

New King James Version (NKJV)

Perilous Times and Perilous Men

"3 But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come: For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good, traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having a form of godliness but denying its power. And from such people turn away!"

No matter what your beliefs, you would have to be blind to not recognize that evil is running rampant.  

How else do you explain the beheading of an elderly priest while he was saying mass in Normandy, France this morning?

I cannot even wrap my mind around that.

Or the slaying of disabled people by an angry knife-wielding man in Japan yesterday?

In their sleep. The murderer reportedly said "All disabled should disappear!"

Two days ago a young man lured children to a McDonalds in Munich, Germany with the promise of free food. And then shot them in cold blood.

This is just the last three days.  I could go on and on reporting the horrors that this world has been subjected to in recent times.  Almost on a daily basis.

But you can read the news.

And now, we are in the midst of a political battle in our country.

I refuse to turn my eyes away from the suffering. But I can renounce the hatred. 

I refuse to hate.

I posted a little story on Facebook about a wonderful encounter I had on Sunday with a Vietnamese family:

"I just had the most wonderful experience!
One of my neighbors asked me to teach his brother and his wife to speak English. They just moved to Portland from Vietnam 3 weeks ago. They speak no English at all! After one hour, they could say, "Hello. How are you? I am fine. Thank you." I also taught them the alphabet, days of the week and how to count to ten. It was so much fun. They were very shy at first, but after about 20 minutes they warmed up and we were all giggling as I tried to teach them some sounds foreign to them. "J", "X" and "H" were especially tricky and hilarious to demonstrate. I wish I had a video!
I was impressed at how hard they worked.
As I left, they stood on the porch waving and saying "Thank you!" Over and over. I told them I would come back next week and they should practice speaking English every day.
It feels so wonderful to help and learn from others. 
Who needs politics"

I plan on volunteering my services to this lovely family every Sunday.  It may not solve the problems of the world, but I feel like in my little corner of the world, I am sharing love and peace.

Of course, we do need politics for our society to run smoothly.  It seems like the wars between the left and the right have gone on since the early day of our civilization.

But what of this unspeakable evil?

Is it really related to radical religious views?

I worship a God of love and peace.

And I am going to start using my mind and my heart more than my gut.

Because my gut is a wreck.

In these times, love may sound like the answer, but it is only part of the equation.

Love is not just a feeling. It is also a verb.

Love, intellect and action are what we need.

And faith in a higher power.  Not in the media or the political elite.

Ok. I am now climbing off of my soapbox.

For today.

Happy Tuesday!


Popular posts from this blog

Year Two, Day 288: I Found a Place!

This is truly amazing.

God is so good.

All the time!

I posted on Facebook my housing plight yesterday afternoon. And so many of my wonderful friends had helpful suggestions. Several offers for roommates came in.  But most of them so far from my work.

Then, I was heading home after teaching and just felt the need to sit and think.  Of course sitting and thinking go so much better with a cheeseburger on a rice cake, and what do you know...there I was getting off the bus in from of a McDonald's!

So I ordered a quarter pounder with cheese, ditched the bun and plopped it down between two rice cakes (I always carry emergency rice cakes in my bags these days).

I opened up Facebook and found a message from the pastor at my church job. She and her family have a room in their basement that they have been wanting to rent. But they were hesitant to put up an ad. They preferred knowing the person.

And here I am!  This is a blessing in so many ways! I will help them by paying rent and being a p…

Year Three, Day 83: Prednisone, Grumpy Doc and the Pentateuch!

I barely hacked at all last night.
Probably due to the Prednisone my doctor prescribed me. I was hoping I'd get a new doctor this time around at the clinic that accepts my Oregon Health Plan coverage. But there he was. Grumpy Doc.
But my appointment was pleasant. I greeted him and asked him how he was. He lightened up and even smiled during our visit. I wonder if he has a rough life.  It turns out we have the same "virus". Yes virus. I do not have a bacterial infection. My stats show me as a very healthy woman!  
BP: 100/70, Pulse 79, temp 96.7, Weight 182 lbs. (My weight loss has stalled. After I did the 10-Day Grain Detox, I weakened and ate a few meals with much rice.  I have SOOO missed rice. But since then, I've gained two pounds, so today I'm going back to no grains.  For the time being.  I think I will allow a bit of rice now and then, but I still am looking at 40 more pounds that I'd like to drop. So must be strong!)
I told Grumpy Doc I hav…

Year Two, Day 305: The Secret is Out!

I will never get used to losing an hour of sleep. But got of bed and headed to church did I.

And ironically, I took this photo. At the crossroads!  I was so tired, I did not realize there was a crosswalk in the background until just now.

After church today, I stopped for lunch.  Opened up Facebook. And lo and behold my daughter and son-in-law have announced their pregnancy!

I admit, I have known for a few weeks.

And I have been bursting with the news! She made me promise not to post on Facebook or blog about my first grandbaby until she and her husband felt ready to announce it to the world.

I am so happy!

Nothing like a new life to fill you with hope!

It was funny how she broke the news to me.

About 2 weeks ago, I get a text message.  She had sent me an ultrasound picture with the following message: "Honey Dog would like you to know that she is going to be a big sister."

I immediately texted her back:

"Honey Dog is pregnant?"

Then I stopped in my tracks. Just stood …