Year Two, Day 78: Mourning Sickness

True confession time.

I am and have always been an emotional person.  I get teased a lot. Especially from my children.  If we are watching a movie together and a moment of sadness or even joy comes on, they all look at me.

Inevitably I am sniffing and dabbing my eyes. They laugh at me and say something like,

"Mom, it is only a movie"!

I have actually prided myself on my emotional depth. Yes, I consider it depth. Not weakness. I feel like I have a capacity to feel deeply. To empathize. And to "follow my gut".


But lately my stomach hurts almost constantly.  It seems daily we are horrified by acts of senseless violence.  I wake up in the morning with a sick feeling.  And I am past childbearing age so it is not morning sickness.

I believe it is mourning sickness.

And this is not a movie. 

Mourning the loss of innocent lives at the hands of what I can only comprehend as pure evil.

If you are a Christian, it is hard to deny this looks like the "End Times".

Here is a passage from the bible about recognizing the time of the end is near:

2 Timothy 3:1-5 

New King James Version (NKJV)

Perilous Times and Perilous Men

"3 But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come: ² For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, ³ unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good, ⁴ traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, ⁵ having a form of godliness but denying its power. And from such people turn away!"

No matter what your beliefs, you would have to be blind to not recognize that evil is running rampant.  

How else do you explain the beheading of an elderly priest while he was saying mass in Normandy, France this morning?

http://www.nytimes.com/2016/07/27/world/europe/normandy-france-church-attack.html

I cannot even wrap my mind around that.

Or the slaying of disabled people by an angry knife-wielding man in Japan yesterday?

In their sleep. The murderer reportedly said "All disabled should disappear!"

http://www.nytimes.com/2016/07/26/world/asia/knife-japan-stabbing-sagamihara.html?_r=0

Two days ago a young man lured children to a McDonalds in Munich, Germany with the promise of free food. And then shot them in cold blood.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2016/07/23/munich-shooting-german-iranian-gunman-targeted-children-outside/

This is just the last three days.  I could go on and on reporting the horrors that this world has been subjected to in recent times.  Almost on a daily basis.

But you can read the news.

And now, we are in the midst of a political battle in our country.

I refuse to turn my eyes away from the suffering. But I can renounce the hatred. 

I refuse to hate.


I posted a little story on Facebook about a wonderful encounter I had on Sunday with a Vietnamese family:

"I just had the most wonderful experience!

One of my neighbors asked me to teach his brother and his wife to speak English. They just moved to Portland from Vietnam 3 weeks ago. They speak no English at all! After one hour, they could say, "Hello. How are you? I am fine. Thank you." I also taught them the alphabet, days of the week and how to count to ten. It was so much fun. They were very shy at first, but after about 20 minutes they warmed up and we were all giggling as I tried to teach them some sounds foreign to them. "J", "X" and "H" were especially tricky and hilarious to demonstrate. I wish I had a video!

I was impressed at how hard they worked.

As I left, they stood on the porch waving and saying "Thank you!" Over and over. I told them I would come back next week and they should practice speaking English every day.

It feels so wonderful to help and learn from others. 

Who needs politics"

I plan on volunteering my services to this lovely family every Sunday.  It may not solve the problems of the world, but I feel like in my little corner of the world, I am sharing love and peace.

Of course, we do need politics for our society to run smoothly.  It seems like the wars between the left and the right have gone on since the early day of our civilization.

But what of this unspeakable evil?

Is it really related to radical religious views?

I worship a God of love and peace.

And I am going to start using my mind and my heart more than my gut.

Because my gut is a wreck.

In these times, love may sound like the answer, but it is only part of the equation.

Love is not just a feeling. It is also a verb.

Love, intellect and action are what we need.

And faith in a higher power.  Not in the media or the political elite.

Ok. I am now climbing off of my soapbox.

For today.

Happy Tuesday!