Skip to main content

Year Two, Day 267: Crazy Hair Day and Keeping the "D" word at Bay



I am having one of my extremely low energy days. My heart feels heavy. There is a tired, sad feeling right behind my eyes if that makes sense.  I can see it in the selfie I took.  My hair reflects the chaos in my soul (and the bitter wind that has been whipping me about from bus stop to bus stop today!)

I can feel the "D" word lurking around the corner.  I wished I could have just pulled the blankets over my head this morning and stayed in bed.

But I have a strong work ethic. And I've discovered one way to keep the "D" word at bay, is to just keep putting one foot in front of the other.

So I did.  I got out of bed. I made my morning tea. I had a bowl of instant grits for breakfast.( (Grits has always been one of my comfort foods. Must be my Texan background!)

 I did a shortened version of my prayer, journaling and bible study since I was moving so slowly.

Today I had a rehearsal for the "Penguin Musical" at a school.  All first graders. Most adorable. I love the woman who writes these. She absolutely loves what she does and it shows. And it did lift my spirits.  A bit.

I decided to take myself out for lunch in the hopes of lifting myself further out of the pit. I went to "Hoho". An old family favorite. I ordered cashew shrimp and hot and sour soup. Delicious as usual.  I read a bit from Uninvited: Living Loved When You Feel Less Than, Left Out, and Lonely by Lysa TerKeurst.  I feel like she is my soul sister. Even though we have never met and probably never will.

I almost dropped my chopsticks when I read,

 "It's painful to be in a crowded room and fell all alone...We must respect ourselves enough to break the pattern of placing unrealistic expectations on others. After all, people will not respect us more than we respect ourselves...some of our biggest disappointments in life are the result of expectations we have of others that they can't ever possibly meet...Unrealistic neediness is actually greediness in disguise. It's saying, 'My needs and desires deserve to tap into or possibly even deplete yours.' This will never set a relationship up for success."

Oy. The truth hurts. But then the truth sets us free. As much work as I have done on myself, it is just the tip of the iceberg. And suddenly it dawned on me. I mean, suddenly, as in RIGHT THIS MOMENT as I am typing this. The gloom has lifted a bit.  Perhaps God gives me these under the weather, fighting with the "D" word days to give me a chance to hit the pause button. To be still and reflect. To look deep inside myself. To face my truth and let Him mold me.
I just took a deep breath. And I just smiled a bit.  I think I am going to just let my thoughts end here.  
Pause, breathe, smile. Go teach some piano students.  

And keep the "D" word in the dungeon where he belongs!

Happy Thursday!

Love, Joy and Peace to you all,

Zita

 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Year Three, Day 58: Marilyn Monroe's Measurements

Day 24 of daily hooping. I am determined to shrink these abs, if it is the last thing I do! Perhaps I should have that written on my tombstone: "Here lies Zita". Flat abs at last!! Well I certainly hope to attain my flat abs goal BEFORE I am dead and gone! Today's video was another rush job. But I downloaded some fun tunes to my Kindle last night.  I enjoyed my hoop session more listening to the Punjabi music. It reminded me of the "Maritime Bhangra Dancers".  If you haven't heard of them, you should look them up. They never fail to put a smile on my face! I am not smiling so much looking at this video. My hooping skills have improved a bit, but that menopot has got to go! After my hoop session, I walked 3/4 mile to the bus stop. I was planning on attending the 10:00 a.m. Mass at the Grotto, but it was cutting it close. Plus, I was feeling the need for a Starbucks iced tea.  Today was Iced Passionfruit/Black Tea, no sugar whatsoever.   The ic...
Post a Comment
Read more

Year Two, Day 201: "I"

Before my first meeting with "I" I had a wonderful first date last night! We had a lot on common. The conversation flowed easily. We laughed. It was so lovely, that I think I shall not blog about him. Not yet anyway. I am just going to call him "I". I like I. 😉 Today was a long, wonderful family day. Went to church with my daughter and son-in-law. Very powerful, uplifting service. After that we went to the horse races. Had a blast. Broke even. Essentially had a free lunch and four hours of entertainment. After the horses, we had yet another Thanksgiving dinner at my niece's place. It was her first turkey. It was amazing! But thank God I had enough willpower to resist the pie! Tomorrow I go for my first physical therapy appointment. Tuesday it is back to the gym!! Happy Sunday!
Post a Comment
Read more

Year Three, Day 110: I Like Change, But How Do I Help the Suffering?

I woke up in a bit of a panic this morning. I had planned on getting to the track by 6:30 a.m., because I thought today was the first day of school. You see, the public is not allowed to use the track when school is in session. Understandably so. But alas, I overslept! I still headed out with my hoop, hoping it was before school hours at 7:30 a.m. And I breathed a sigh of relief. The school looked vacant. And only one solitary jogger with her solitary dog was present. I got busy in case the kids were due to arrive. Got a nice hoop workout in. No sign of children as I walked back to the house. So I did what I should have done in advance. I consulted Google. And most happy am I - North Clackamas School District does not start back to school until September 6th! Portland Public Schools start today. But the elementary school next door to the track lists "student hours" as 7:45 - 2:00 p.m. So I really am going to have to get an earlier start next week. I am aiming...
Post a Comment
Read more