After my little epiphany/rant/break down (or whatever you want to call it) yesterday afternoon, my mood improved exponentially!
In fact, I feel like I trigger a manic event. After talking to my therapist, I told myself that I was just feeling good, feeling empowered, feeling like "kicking butt and taking names", as my ex-husband so eloquently phrased it. He also used to tell me I was addicted to feeling bad about myself when I bragged about not being controlled by addictions.
I kept a watchful eye on my mood. Especially since I had a staff meeting last night. It actually served me well. I am not fond of meetings. Of any kind. I get irritable and restless, thinking about all the things I could be doing rather than listen to people ramble on and on and on...
I'm sure some of you have experienced the dreaded meeting.
In years past, at the music center where I teach piano, we would have one staff meeting a year. Right before the beginning of the school year. We'd come in all refreshed after our summer vacations. Mingle over a lovely buffet, with other teachers and board members.
Then we would introduce ourselves and listen to a short talk about Portland Parks and Recreation's mission and policy. Then we would have a fire and earthquake drill. For the last few years, we also had an active shooter drill.
Then we would get down to logistics, like time cards, lesson planning, how to utilize the office staff, schedule recitals, call in sick.
I rather enjoyed those meetings. Social awkweirdo that I am!
Yesterday was not so enjoyable, albeit necessary. The introductions are always fun. It is interesting to hear from the teachers who have been there for as long as I have, or longer. We are a dwindling group. It is also interesting to hear the backgrounds of the new teachers.
Last night, much information was shared about Portland Parks and Recreations mission on equity, diversity and inclusion. We were encouraged to take training in such subjects as transgender and race equality.
All good stuff. But it was presented in a very abstract manner. For two hours. I would have liked more hands on exercises and ideas about how application. I suppose that will be coming. It was not too painful. But the absence of food and drink, made it less cheerful.
However, what made the whole experience bearable was my euphoria! I was bubbling over! Smiles for everyone. Practically bouncing on my seat like Tigger!
And everytime a negative thought, or a feeling of self consciousness knocked on the door of my brain, I denied it's entry!
Today I woke up with tons of energy. I hooped, I prayed, I cooked, I cleaned. I watch my granddaughter. And here I am now blogging about it!
My next step is start reading all the positive thinking books I downloaded on my Kindle. I am tracking my moods in a little notebook.
I am wanting to be cautious. Feelings of euphoria, invincible, heightened creativity and boundless energy can signal a manic episode. I read an article earlier about hypomania that caution about the crash after a manic episode. That is what I also fear. I am being cautious not to take on too many extra commitments right now, although I am feeling like I could conquer the world!
One article suggests that bipolar individuals may not recognize mania in themselves. Who are these people? I not only recognize every little mood, I track it in my mood journal and I blog about it!
Uh-oh! I recognize delusions of grandeur in those last two sentences! Calm down, Zita. Breathe!
Oh, but it feels so good to feel so good!
Let's see how long this lasts! An article on webmd.com suggests that if I feel like this for more than a week, or cause "problems in my life, it could be mania". However, amusingly enough, they did not say what to do about it.
I am enjoying it, while keep a watchful eye on myself!
On that note, I must bid you adieu. Happy Wednesday!
Love,
Euphoric Z
Oh: Here is today's hooping video. Day 151! I regret that I will not have time to get to the gym today. I have yet another meeting and choir practice. I am dying to pump some iron! I sure hope this energy lasts! Who needs Red Bull?
In fact, I feel like I trigger a manic event. After talking to my therapist, I told myself that I was just feeling good, feeling empowered, feeling like "kicking butt and taking names", as my ex-husband so eloquently phrased it. He also used to tell me I was addicted to feeling bad about myself when I bragged about not being controlled by addictions.
I kept a watchful eye on my mood. Especially since I had a staff meeting last night. It actually served me well. I am not fond of meetings. Of any kind. I get irritable and restless, thinking about all the things I could be doing rather than listen to people ramble on and on and on...
I'm sure some of you have experienced the dreaded meeting.
In years past, at the music center where I teach piano, we would have one staff meeting a year. Right before the beginning of the school year. We'd come in all refreshed after our summer vacations. Mingle over a lovely buffet, with other teachers and board members.
Then we would introduce ourselves and listen to a short talk about Portland Parks and Recreation's mission and policy. Then we would have a fire and earthquake drill. For the last few years, we also had an active shooter drill.
Then we would get down to logistics, like time cards, lesson planning, how to utilize the office staff, schedule recitals, call in sick.
I rather enjoyed those meetings. Social awkweirdo that I am!
Yesterday was not so enjoyable, albeit necessary. The introductions are always fun. It is interesting to hear from the teachers who have been there for as long as I have, or longer. We are a dwindling group. It is also interesting to hear the backgrounds of the new teachers.
Last night, much information was shared about Portland Parks and Recreations mission on equity, diversity and inclusion. We were encouraged to take training in such subjects as transgender and race equality.
All good stuff. But it was presented in a very abstract manner. For two hours. I would have liked more hands on exercises and ideas about how application. I suppose that will be coming. It was not too painful. But the absence of food and drink, made it less cheerful.
However, what made the whole experience bearable was my euphoria! I was bubbling over! Smiles for everyone. Practically bouncing on my seat like Tigger!
And everytime a negative thought, or a feeling of self consciousness knocked on the door of my brain, I denied it's entry!
Today I woke up with tons of energy. I hooped, I prayed, I cooked, I cleaned. I watch my granddaughter. And here I am now blogging about it!
My next step is start reading all the positive thinking books I downloaded on my Kindle. I am tracking my moods in a little notebook.
I am wanting to be cautious. Feelings of euphoria, invincible, heightened creativity and boundless energy can signal a manic episode. I read an article earlier about hypomania that caution about the crash after a manic episode. That is what I also fear. I am being cautious not to take on too many extra commitments right now, although I am feeling like I could conquer the world!
One article suggests that bipolar individuals may not recognize mania in themselves. Who are these people? I not only recognize every little mood, I track it in my mood journal and I blog about it!
Uh-oh! I recognize delusions of grandeur in those last two sentences! Calm down, Zita. Breathe!
Oh, but it feels so good to feel so good!
Let's see how long this lasts! An article on webmd.com suggests that if I feel like this for more than a week, or cause "problems in my life, it could be mania". However, amusingly enough, they did not say what to do about it.
I am enjoying it, while keep a watchful eye on myself!
On that note, I must bid you adieu. Happy Wednesday!
Love,
Euphoric Z
Oh: Here is today's hooping video. Day 151! I regret that I will not have time to get to the gym today. I have yet another meeting and choir practice. I am dying to pump some iron! I sure hope this energy lasts! Who needs Red Bull?
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