Day 11.

Feeling under the weather today.  It's a cloudy day in Portland. Usually I feel "above" the weather - which is probably why I like the overcast days!

But today, I feel like I might be coming down with a cold.  Tired, achy, headache, scratchy throat. I have to teach group piano classes this afternoon and need to do house work, piano practice, laundry.  Today is supposed to be a gym day, but I'm thinking I will work out at home to save time.

But first some hot tea. 


My fear is that my life will get overwhelming again.  I will fall behind in the basics of human existence, start to feel stress and pressure and start cutting things out of my life.  Usually it's the exercise. And then to soothe my feelings, it's overeating.

I guess awareness is a good first step right?

And I am going to just keep putting one foot in front of the other.

Actually, I do have some good news. Last night, after I finished teaching my last student, I felt the need to find a cozy cafe to sit and eat and read.  One of my favorite past times!  But I realized I had eaten three healthy meals already and the desire I had was for comfort and recreation.  So instead of going out to eat, I stopped at the store and bought some beans to cook in the slow cooker for tomorrow's lunch. And I bought an organic juice. I sat and drank about half of it while I waited for the bus. My heart was racing.  I felt quite anxious facing this habit.  Strange.  I felt fearful!  But then saying no, and taking another path felt peaceful.

I can do this. I just have to be strong and very present in the moment.  When I am afraid, stressed out, tired, depressed, angry, lonely, those are my times of weakness. When I turn to the temporary comfort of food.  It sounds like I'm an addict doesn't it?

Having a down day is probably good. Gives me time to reflect.  Day 11.  Going on two weeks of consistent exercise and refined eating.  I should be proud!  I know I will have down days. But I just need to stay focused.  

But I refuse to cut the exercise out.  I am going to pull out my yoga mat and do crunches, pushups and stretch.  Then I am going to ride the stationary bike. 

Tomorrow is my official day off.  I think I will just do a bit of exercise at home before I teach.  Sunday I will hit the trail again!

Down, but not out!!

Happy Friday!
Zita