Skip to main content

Day 15 Part 2: Prayer Walk

"So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." ~Isaiah 41:10





I set out for my run today. I find that my head is not on straight until I get in a good amount of exercise. And the trail I've been running on has become my home away from home.  The air clears my head. And the familiarity is comforting.  In addition, it is never really the same.  Different people, different birds, different feelings and thoughts within my head.

Today my heart was heavy. I actually had the foresight to bring along my thumb rosary.  I picked this up years ago at the Grotto.  I had gone for a mini personal prayer retreat and to walk the labryinth.  If you have never been to the Grotto, it is a serene place of beauty, perfect for introspection. 


The Grotto, Portland, Oregon (http://www.thegrotto.org/)



I planned on doing a prayer walk this morning.  The thumb rosary helps you to keep track of how many prayers you do.

But as I tried to enter into a prayerful mode, my heart felt hardened. Toxic even.  I felt bitter.  I tried praying for family and friends. But still this bitterness.

So I ran a bit. Then I remembered an article I saw online about praying using the ABC's at night when you can't sleep. I've found this a wonderful tool. I start at the beginning of the alphabet and pray for all the people I know with names that begin with A. I never make it through the alphabet (too bad for people with Z names like me!) But it has helped my insomnia.

Today, I tried praying for people.  But again, I just felt mean and miserable. Maybe I should pray for me, I thought. And just then a fresh breeze tossled my hair.  I always feel like the Holy Spirit is talking to me when this happens. 

I had my radio tuned to a Christian station. Some beautiful songs with lovely lyrics came on.  My heart opened.  I asked God to speak to me.

And this is some of what was revealed to me.  As I prayed and said each letter, walking and breathing, these are some of the words that came to mind.

A:  Alpha.  God is the beginning of All.  Always.  Amazing.  The Air we breathe. Almighty. Awe inspiring.
B: Beginning.  Being.  Beautiful. Breathe. Bible.
C: Creation.  Compassion. I stopped here for a moment and pondered.  My compassion lately for others seems to be lacking. I wonder if all this focus on me and my exercise has turned my sight so far inward that I have forgotten how to care?  I thought about the name of my blog: Soulrunnings.  I have been focusing on running, getting into shape losing weight. But what about the "Soul" in Soulrunnings?  Perhaps I need to exercise my soul!
D: Day.  Today is what I have. This day.  Determination.  Dedication. 
E:  Eternity. Earth.  Everlasting.
F: Family. Faith. Friendship. Forgiveness. I thought about who I needed to forgive. I need to forgive myself most of all.
G: GOD!  Goodness. Grace.  Giving of myself.  Generosity.
H: Health. Happiness. Heaven. 
I: I need more prayer, more faith, more God! 
J: Jesus! :) Justice. 
K: Kingdom. King. Knowledge
L: Love, Light, Live, Lord. 
M: Mother.Mothering.  I pondered mothers for a bit. I pondered my own act of mothering.  How difficult, but how deeply rewarding.  And how I carry so much guilt.  Mercy.
N:  Now. 
O: Others.  One.
P:  Powerful.  Prayer.  Path.
Q: Questions.
R:  River.  Return. 
S:  Spirit.  Sunshine. Son.  Serve.
T: Trees.  Truth.  Trust. 
U:  Understanding. Unbelievable. Unshaken.  Undeniable. Universe.
V:  Victory
W: Wonder.  World. We.
X: eXtraordinary! eXcitement! 
Y: You. 
Z:  Me (Zita)


So much more passed through my heart today. Too much to digest. Some things too personal to share. Some things I don't quite even know how to put into words.  But I finally was able to pray. For this world. For my friends, family, strangers, those who have hurt me and thoseI have hurt. But mostly for my heart and my soul to strengthen with love and faith.  So that this is a journey not only to elevate my health and body, but to heal my heart and strengthen my soul.

And that is why I named this blog Soulrunnings.

After I returned home, more humble yet peaceful, I turned to my Jesus Calling devotional for today. And I read:

May 25

"The world is too much with you, my child. Your mind leaps from problem to problem to problem, tangling your thoughts in anxious knots. When you think like that, you leave Me out of your world-view and your mind becomes darkened. Though I yearn to help, I will not violate your freedom. I stand silently in the background of your mind, waiting for you to remember that I am with you."


~Jesus Calling: Enjoying Peace in His Presence by Sarah Young
 


Blessings to all.

Zita

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Year Two, Day 288: I Found a Place!

This is truly amazing.

God is so good.

All the time!

I posted on Facebook my housing plight yesterday afternoon. And so many of my wonderful friends had helpful suggestions. Several offers for roommates came in.  But most of them so far from my work.

Then, I was heading home after teaching and just felt the need to sit and think.  Of course sitting and thinking go so much better with a cheeseburger on a rice cake, and what do you know...there I was getting off the bus in from of a McDonald's!

So I ordered a quarter pounder with cheese, ditched the bun and plopped it down between two rice cakes (I always carry emergency rice cakes in my bags these days).

I opened up Facebook and found a message from the pastor at my church job. She and her family have a room in their basement that they have been wanting to rent. But they were hesitant to put up an ad. They preferred knowing the person.

And here I am!  This is a blessing in so many ways! I will help them by paying rent and being a p…

Year Three, Day 134: The Charmed Life of a Commuting Grandma

I just discovered that the Starbucks at Cascades Station stays open until 10:00 p.m. every night.

Just when I was wanting to pinch myself to make sure I wasn't dreaming. Being a commuting grandma really is not that difficult. Actually, my life pretty much rocks right now!

Today has been a very good day. And I had maybe 3 hours of solid sleep last night. The Burrito has decided she likes to sleep cuddled in the arms of her Great Grandma Blanche or Grandma Zita during the day. Or snuggled safe in her infant seat while her mom, grandma and great grandma go out to lunch, do laundry and go shopping.

I warned my daughter that the
Baby Burrito needed some awake time yesterday. Or else we would pay for it in the evening. But getting so much done with a snoozing baby in tow was so freeing. Especially since Baby Burrito's dad is elk hunting all weekend.

We finally roused her for a bath, diaper change and piano lesson early afternoon.

Baby Burrito had a fantastic first piano lesson. At…

Year Three, Day 83: Prednisone, Grumpy Doc and the Pentateuch!

I barely hacked at all last night.
Probably due to the Prednisone my doctor prescribed me. I was hoping I'd get a new doctor this time around at the clinic that accepts my Oregon Health Plan coverage. But there he was. Grumpy Doc.
But my appointment was pleasant. I greeted him and asked him how he was. He lightened up and even smiled during our visit. I wonder if he has a rough life.  It turns out we have the same "virus". Yes virus. I do not have a bacterial infection. My stats show me as a very healthy woman!  
BP: 100/70, Pulse 79, temp 96.7, Weight 182 lbs. (My weight loss has stalled. After I did the 10-Day Grain Detox, I weakened and ate a few meals with much rice.  I have SOOO missed rice. But since then, I've gained two pounds, so today I'm going back to no grains.  For the time being.  I think I will allow a bit of rice now and then, but I still am looking at 40 more pounds that I'd like to drop. So must be strong!)
Anyway...
I told Grumpy Doc I hav…