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Day 250: A Birthday Walk on the Trail


On the trail with my new walking stick from my brother!

Feeling Good!


"Twas a dark, dreary, gray day.  My favorite!
So today is my birthday. 54.  Next year I will be 55 and eligible for senior discounts at many restaurants! Always trying to find the positive in every situation.

I did not win Powerball last night.  Honestly it is a relief. I started thinking that I had some really good numbers. Then I started fantasizing about what I would do with all the money.  I would of course pay of my debt and all my family's.  Buy my parents a nice, accessible home.  Buy my daughter and her husband a ranch in Montana. My son a home and money for a nice car.

Then I would travel the world. Sight see. And seek out communities that needed help with basic survival. Adopt an entire village. Build wells, schools, churches. Buy them farm animals. Teach them music.

Would have been nice.  But aside from all the good I would be doing, I find money very stressful.  The managing of it that is. I'm used to being part of the "working poor".  Living paycheck to paycheck.  Believe it or not, there is a freedom in not owning anything.

I started out this morning feeling sick and sore and depressed.  I think I overate yesterday. And overthought. Or is it overthank?  No, one can never thank enough! :)

But then I went on the internet and saw all these wonderful, sweet loving comments from friends and family on Facebook. And the love seeped into my bones and I feel almost human again.

I am going to go for a birthday trail walk today.  Then teach piano.  And I really am going to work on shedding this anxiety.  Maybe not work at it. Just do it. Like Yoda says, "Do or do not. There is no try!"

Just be thankful for another day of life. Breathe the air, love the trees and the animals and all humanity.  My money troubles and schedule woes and lack of motivation will be there.  Unless I win the lottery.  I've decided to just invest in the Oregon Lottery.  Maybe $2 a month on Mega Millions.  I can sacrifice $2. It will keep my hope afloat. I was really looking forward to adopting a village.

But for now I am grounded in my little life here in Portland, Oregon. And I have a free birthday Starbucks coffee to look forward to.

And if that is not enough, the choir I accompany had a fabulous first rehearsal of the Mozart Requiem on Tuesday night. The director and I shared with each other after practice how sublime we find the music of Mozart.  Healing, pure, heavenly.  Ironic that "requiem" means " [in the]Roman Catholic Church.{Also called Requiem Mass.}the Mass celebrated for the repose of the souls of the dead." http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/requiem                                           

 The requiem is basically a funeral mass. If you have not heard the Mozart Requiem. Listen to it.  We will be performing it live in the spring. Choir of about 50 people, and two pianists on one piano playing the orchestral reduction.  I hope we do it justice. But the learning is feeding my soul.

And my soul only feels good lately if it gets some exercise. In the fresh air.

Happy Thursday!

 

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