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Year Two, Day 149: A Very Good Conversation

Here I am again. On R's bus.  I brought us breakfast burritos again.  We are going to scarf them down before another killer workout at the gym.  He packed us turkey sandwiches for lunch.

I am not as sore as I thought I would be from yesterday's workout. In fact the only thing that really hurt this morning were my feet!

After all the passengers got off the bus in Gresham, we ate our burritos as we drove back to the garage.  We got to talking about random things and then suddenly R told me that he is really picky when women flirt with him. Does not tolerate too much perfume, smoking, drinking...He was giving me a list when I think he picked up on the energy shift.

He quickly covered his tracks and starting telling me how wonderful I was. I laughed him off and said, "There's got to be something wrong with me!"

I should have kept my big mouth shut!

Because he said, "Well since you asked..." And proceeded to tell me that he has picked up on a bit of "emotional instability" on my part.  He said he would not go so far as to say bipolar....

I felt my blood boil. But I breathed slowly in and out through my nose.  Because I am sensitive. And I have struggled with depression.

I asked him how he could pick up on that from just text messaging.

He said he has also noticed my pupils "get weird".


Part of me was angry because I feel that I was unfairly judged. Part of me wanted to say "guilty as charged, but with extenuating circumstances!"

Actually, it was good. We ended up clearing the air.

I told him yes, I was sensitive. But I felt pretty balanced usually.  I told him that I was particularly concerned about the heavy "Adult" texting that he had initiated. It was confusing for me. Especially since I liked him and enjoyed his company. And had not even dated for almost 10 years before I met him.

That is why I backed off and suggested being friends.  Because I do like him and enjoy our time together, especially at the gym.

I didn't mentioned the movie cancellation incident.  I just didn't want to get emotional or negative.

A conversation was a very good start.

And I had the most intense kick *ss workout!  He was even more impressed then usual.  I can see DEFINITION in my biceps and calves like never before.

Oh, and did I mention I lost 2 more pounds?

On R's advice, I am going on a low salt diet. I think it will help my joint pain and bloating. I am also trying to stay away from sugar and fried foods.

Everytime R increased my weights, I just thought about our conversation and got mad and it gave me and extra boost!

So, to keep this in perspective, R is my friend. My workout partner. Some nice eye candy, but I would be psycho to keep my hopes up for more.

And I am ok with that.

Because I am reviving my "Theory of 9".

I will tell you about that tomorrow.

Happy Wednesday!


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